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Mom to be confused/sad

Eggsandbacon profile image
19 Replies

Hello,

This is very strange but recently found out the gender out my child. No longer as excited or happy. All the sudden i feel upset, angry, extremely sad and disappointed at myself got even having any of this emotions as is not my baby’s fault their gender.

I can’t voice my concerns to my peers are they are all soo happy that I’m expecting all together. I don’t want to sound ungrateful either for such a blessing. But all the sudden i loss interest and desire into continuing this journey. I suppose it would have been know that a 50/50 would be the outcome, but i did not think i would be feeling this way. I’m trying to find it within me to see some positives and continue to be excited, but I’m just sad and almost to the point where i feel defeated.

I don’t want my emotions to affect my baby as it’s really not their fault, but after battling with the depression in the past i have now found myself encountering the same feelings of lack of anything and deep sadness.

E&B

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Eggsandbacon profile image
Eggsandbacon
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19 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Are you disappointed by the baby's gender or that you made the decision to find out?

Eggsandbacon profile image
Eggsandbacon in reply to hypercat54

Gender 😞

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Eggsandbacon

Is gender that important to you? I would have thought the first consideration would be hoping that the baby is healthy. I must admit though that if I had a child would much prefer female. But I would still be excited anyway. Do you think your baby hormones are influencing your mood?

Eggsandbacon profile image
Eggsandbacon in reply to hypercat54

Omg i certainly do think is mostly hormones

And perhaps just concerns all together

Is very strange how through out the process everything felt soo exciting and happy. Not sure if the gender makes it more real or if it’s triggering fear

But overall i feel a sense of sadness and perhaps scared, i don’t like that I started to experience same symptoms of depression in the past. When i think about i can’t help but just cry and have no energy or will to do anything anymore

I’m really hopping is a temporary thing, but I’m very much scared that is not. I really do not know how to cope with it or what to do.

I know that at the end of the day I want a healthy baby regardless of the gender, but somehow since finding out gender it feels like it has triggered many emotions i can’t control any longer

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Eggsandbacon

I think finding out the gender has suddenly made it real - you are really having a baby and it's not some fantasy anymore. While it is a very exciting time it is also scary as you are facing up to the reality now. Lots of worries over how you will cope, the responsibility involved etc.

This is normal but as you get more used to the idea the excitement will return. Ask for reassurance from the baby daddy and family and friends. Your emotions are going haywire at the moment so talk to your loved ones.

Eggsandbacon profile image
Eggsandbacon in reply to hypercat54

Thank you!!!

I sure do hope is hormones and not depression again 🙏🏼

BTCCET profile image
BTCCET in reply to hypercat54

Completely agree about the hormonal thing hypercat!

BTCCET profile image
BTCCET

Is this your 1st baby E&B?

Eggsandbacon profile image
Eggsandbacon in reply to BTCCET

Yes first baby

BTCCET profile image
BTCCET in reply to Eggsandbacon

When's baby due, these feelings are possibly down to hormonal changes in your body because of your pregnancy maybe? I think it would be worth just checking in with your medical team and asking 😉

Eggsandbacon profile image
Eggsandbacon in reply to BTCCET

Thank you!

pink318 profile image
pink318

Hi,

I’m so sorry you feel this way? It’s good that you reached out to us. Thank you for sharing with us honestly about how you feel. I hope you will be comforted here.

You can also talk to your doctor regarding the deep sadness you are going through right now. Please keep us posted. I hope things will brighten up for you soon. Prayers for you. God bless.

Eggsandbacon profile image
Eggsandbacon in reply to pink318

Thank you!

I sure have been considering reaching out to my doctor. I find it hard to do since i don’t want to let down my peers and lots of them don’t believe the need of doctors for emotional health. I want to share the joy everyone has so far.

But i also know that i should not suffer in pain alone either.

BTCCET profile image
BTCCET in reply to Eggsandbacon

I understand that at such an exciting time it's lovely to share your excitement with your friends and family but if you need a little bit of guidance from your doctor or midwife I think that you should ask for it😊

pink318 profile image
pink318

Please update us about your doctor's visit. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Take care of yourself.

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11

May I ask which gender you were hoping for?

Pinkie56 profile image
Pinkie56

Wow you're really feeling it. Not to blow off your feelings but its probably hormones gone amok. That doesn't mean your feelings aren't real. You are truly suffering. Knowing the gender may have taken an element of surprise & anticipation out of the whole thing. And that's certainly a letdown. I don't know what the answer is. Just try to focus on using that knowledge to an advantage. Now you know what colors to decorate in & what clothes to buy. Try reading to your bump. They say that makes for a smart child. I don't know how true that is but my daughter read to her bump & played a lot of classical music and her child is both brilliant & musical. So maybe there's something to it.

Laurennnnnnn profile image
Laurennnnnnn

Congratulations on your pregnancy!! 🥰

And a lot of women go through a lot of weird emotions during this time, you aren’t alone. I’d recommend reaching out to your doctor. Also, there are some therapists who specialize in expecting and new moms

I don’t have kids BUT I’m sure once you have the baby and it’s in your arms you will feel instant love and the gender won’t matter. I have a friend who got pregnant 12 years ago and she was hoping for a boy, found out it was a girl and was disappointed but once she held her everything changed. I wouldn’t worry too much.

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