The Story

I want to specifically articulate, to the best of my knowledge, I am far more psychically attuned than I ever acknowledged. I believe it is how I survived as an infant & child in the totally dysfunctional/abusive/violent household I grew up in. Both my mother & sister were mentally ill (mother subjected to incest repeatedly) and extremely detrimental. My father was no better, he was complacent/complicit, i.e., anything to escape having to endure listening to my verbally abusive mother. My mother never wanted to get married, especially to my father. Both I (after a good night on the town) and my sister were accidents. I'm completely surprised my mother didn't kill me !!!

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I’m sorry to hear this but glad you’re on this site. It’s a great place to be. There are a lot of supportive knowledgeable caring folks here. Keep posting.

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

It has been a long arduous journey where I've needed to be eclectic using various modalities to essentially excavate beyond my comprehension/memory & rely on emotional feelings to get in touch with the individual, i.e., myself who I've not been in touch with for decades. It was a monumental effort.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

To be rather explicit, I was economically provided for but that was about it. The difficult part was getting past what I thought was 'normal' childhood. I just didn't know any better or different as a child. My mother never wanted to get married (especially to my father) & she certainly didn't want to have a child, i.e., me. She told me she use to throw cookies out the window to keep me out of the house as an infant. This miserable, self-indulgent, despicable, domestically abusive & violent, wretched, narcissist bitch was operating under the guise of being a responsible, caring, loving parent. I've fooled myself long enough (denial runs deep). She might as well been dead. My difficulty was that I didn't know any better or different at the time. I assumed everything was normal.

Specifically, that bitch of a mother I had would say, "If you don't like it here go live with the neighbors." I was NEGLECTED !!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Additionally, I was in her hospital room when she was dying and I said to myself, "It's sad you are dying, but you aren't dying fast enough !!!"

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Get the picture ???................ DOMESTIC CHILD ABUSE

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Andrea, please wake up or I'll need to give you a good, swift kick in the ass.

[Hidden]

Don't take your parents actions personally. You can do anything you put your mind to. I'm sorry you had to go through that kind of childhood. Maybe there's a silver lining like you did live and now you can do whatever you want. You're not alone.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Tell me about it....were you there ??? .........Google "Windermere Project"