Some advice can help me

[Steph2293]

Hello again.

The low sel esteem-depressed Law student is here again.

Sometimes I just don't want to attend classes. I have this fear an anxiety. I tell myself that it's alright, that I can take a break. But after what have I done I feel very guilty.

Also, I have been postponing the works I have to do for classes. I just can't do it. I don't know what is wrong with me.

I keep getting worried and worried. What if fail? What if repeat another year? Is just my fault? What am I going to do if I fail again?

[Hidden]

Hi! There’s nothing wrong with you and with taking a break.

The only thing I can recommend you it’s just take a moment to do the things you like, forget about everything and every time you’re gonna start an assignment remember you can do it, you made it to that point and you can continue, just keep going trusting in what you can do.

If you fail at something just try it again,

I send you a hug

[Blue202]

Hi Steph2293,

I'm sorry your are going through this. It's never easy having these feelings. It helps though knowing someone cares. Someone is listening & having someone to talk to. I can’t offer you a fix all solution but I can offer what I hope might be some good advice. I’m dealing with similar feelings. I’m not in law school. I can’t imagine how stressful that is. I’m just a mom who works from home while helping my little one with e-learning. I’ve been reading a lot on how to be in the moment. How to acknowledge each feeling. How to sit with your feeling for a moment and then let it go. No judgements. No labels. We are not out feelings. They are just something we are feeling in the moment. It doesn’t mean that what we are feeling doesn’t matter it just means that they are feelings. They are not you. It’s ok to take a break. Take a deep breath, maybe several. Maybe even meditate if you think that will help. I’m new to meditation but it does help me sometimes in trying moments. Try and calm your mind. Try to relax your body. Take a moment for yourself. Self care is very important. And self talk is just as important. Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Have faith in yourself. And breathe.

[kvolm2016]

Hi Steph2293, just wanted to add my support and encouragement as well. Since you are dealing with the anxiety and depression in addition to all of the pandemic life stress at the moment, would it be better for you to take a semester/year break? I know several students who have changed their school plans in the past 2 months because they realize that they are not great with the online learning model or because of all the other non-student factors they are dealing with. Sometimes we get so focused on a timeline or a result that we have set that we keep pursuing it even when it may not be healthy to do so. Does that make sense?

I also wanted to ask if you have worked with a counselor in the past for your anxiety/depression? One of the strategies that I find helpful is to practice reframing negative thoughts and this is definitely something that you can apply to the fear of failure. Is this something you are familiar with?

[Steph2293 in reply to kvolm2016]

Thank you so much for your support. This is my last year and I don't think I can retire right now. It's hard because I think I'm going to fail and last week I didn't submit a paper for a class. I'm so very much afraid of that situation and the nightmares and troubles to sleep have started again. What is wrong with me? I know I don't want to be this kind of person but I can help it, just the thought of exams and papers to submit meke me very nervous.

I have never tried the strategy your proposing, how is it work?

[kvolm2016 in reply to Steph2293]

It is from CBT - cognitive behavior therapy - and it is a strategy called cognitive restructuring and reframing. It is used on negative thought patterns. You can research it on your own or you might consider working with a counselor if you see more that you are interested in with CBT.