Constant anxiety

[Ranxiety]

Hi,

I recently lost my grandad in December in an unexpected, accidental death, and then 4months to the day he died, my father passed away which was also sudden and unexpected, and I witnessed it happen. Since watching my dad die in front of me I have had terrible anxiety. I’ve never been an anxious person and I just can’t seem to get rid of physical anxiety symptoms. I am constantly experiencing shortness of breath, feeling nauseous, sometimes dizzy, I am also constantly worried that something bad is going to happen either to myself or to my mother, and it’s really affecting me. I’ve also had bad insomnia even though I am exhausted most days. I’m have received sleeping tablets from my doctors which work some days but not all of the time. I’m also constantly worrying that my anxiety symptoms are something more sinister and feel as though I am going to die, it’s always on my mind. It probably sounds dramatic but it’s just how I feel. I’ve contacted my GP about it, I tried medication to try and settle my anxiety which didn’t seem to work, the doctors are adamant that’s it’s just anxiety but will not give me a face to face appointment because of covid. Just wondering if anyone has any recommendations on how to handle severe anxiety as I’ve tried breathing exercises and all of that stuff but it just doesn’t seem to work and it’s awful to feel this way all of the time, super long post just feeling so overwhelmed recently, thanks.

[Agora1]

I am sorry to hear of the passing of both your grandfather and dad. This however doesn't

mean that it's a sign that something may happen to you or your mom.

Addressing your fears through therapy will more likely help than breathing and medication.

Although both can be helpful in addition to talk therapy.

It's quite normal to transfer what happens to our loved ones to ourselves causing high

anxiety and negative thoughts. You are not your grandfather or your dad. We each have our own fate that doesn't hinge onto another.

I had something similar when my father died unexpected and tragically in his home.

It takes time to heal from the thoughts as well as the loss. We are here for you xx

[bonkers65]

I am so sorry for the loss of your loved ones. I have anxiety all day too, and the only thing that helps me is anti-anxiety meds like xanex, valium etc. But I try not to take them everyday because you build up a tolerance to them. I hope you feel better soon.

[Junella]

You are still going through grief. I experienced this as a child and it affected my whole life. They didn't know about grief counseling or therapy then. I did get over it in my late teens but it was triggered by an auto accident in which I wasn't hurt but scared.then out of that I did well until a trigger in a medical office. To this day I still have illness anxiety syndrome that gets worse when someone close dies and I had that three years ago. Even loosing my cat was a big deal. You need to find a counselor but make sure it is someone you feel comfortable with. I made a mistake there three years ago.

I know it was worse when I didn't practice a religious faith. That helps as does a healthy lifestyle of sleep, diet, and exercise. Avoid violent novels and movies If you are more "normal" than me, it won't last.

I do take medication--one Paxil and another as needed Lorazapan. You are in my prayers.

[Hidden]

That sounds traumatic for you!!!! I think some therapy would be helpful too, even for just a few months. And maybe go to Amazon and possibly get a couple of books on processing grief. I know there's a popular book titled On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler Ross. And for the anxiety I would try to figure out if certain situations trigger it. In the past I've been on both Klonopin and Ativan for anxiety and they helped, but honestly I would try to stay away from Xanax if you can- It's very addictive. I hope you get some help and start to feel some relief, and this site is here for you!!!☺

[Hidden]

Agora1 is spot on about adding therapy and that it is normal to transfer fears of what happened to a loved one to yourself or others. My mother recently passed away at home with me caring for her and for the first couple months it was hard to feel like there will ever be a day without tears, but those days are fewer, with ups and downs of course.

I have been using a different breathing method than what people are usually told practice with great success for both my anxiety and my POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, which in itself causes a different type of hyperventilating or over-breathing than with anxiety). Here is the link to the YouTube video with more information that explains how breathing using this method can really reset your nervous system. I appreciate that there is a lot of scientific research to back up this method.

If I hadn't seen how quickly I felt better I wouldn't be sharing this. I knowyoutube.com/watch?v=ur-IrET...(Not working as expected?)

[pink318]

Hi- I saw my mother when she was catching her last breath. I love my Mom so much and it was so painful to see her struggling. It took me a year to finally move forward. I still cry whenever I miss her but thankfully, the pain is gone.

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. Cry when you need to. Grieving is painful but we need to go through that process for us to heal. Feel free to share, we are here for each other. May you find comfort here. God bless you with His peace and strength each day.