What should I do when I feel alone and have nothing to distract me from my thoughts? When I start focusing on my thoughts I get sad and think of dying.
Advice?: What should I do when I feel... - Anxiety and Depre...
Advice?
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Llama00
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86 Replies
•
I don't know the answer, but just know you aren't alone. I feel this way too.
What you should do is...ANYTHING! When I feel alone my brain starts reeling, conjuring up old mistakes, regrets. I think stuff like 'nobody really loves me and nobody ever will, ' It's ALL bad information posing as 'truth' in my mind. So I go from doing dishes, to a crossword puzzle, music with headphones, Guided Meditation Videos, Facebook, etc. ANYTHING that distracts me from my repetitive, negative thoughts. Keep in mind I NEVER want to do these things. I force myself to do things because by NOT doing them my mind will torture me unmercifully.
So my message to you is: Get up and shake a leg, do a little dance...or vacuum!
Good luck.
I feel the same way!! I usually ask my friends to call and talk about their day but recently I’ve been feeling annoying
I usually get on here and read posts and responses, just knowing that I am not alone, in my struggle for wellness and so many of the people in our group have awesome advice. Might not be your cup of tea, but last night I was flipping thru the channels and caught Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory ( original) love that show. Hope you have a better night.
Keep reminding yourself that you are Precious and Loved. x
I don't think I am. I don't feel I matter
Our negative thoughts seldom reflect the truth. They usually attack when we're feeling low or exhausted.
It helps if we can fight them off with positive thoughts.
These are true FACTS -
You are Precious and Loved.
All Life matters
x
I have these thoughts every day. I feel there has to be some truth to it.
Could you share your thoughts with a family member, friend, Church member or your Doctor?
We still have to fight these thoughts and dismiss them, as frequently as we get them.
When you get the thoughts say to yourself - I am Precious. Something else you can do is to think of ten things you are thankful for and state them.
I spoke to my therapist about it a long time ago bUT my thoughts haven't changed.
• in reply toLlama00
Hi. (Sorry to step in here, Mary)
Llama00: our thoughts don't know the difference between what's true and what's not, so we need to teach it. The longer you feed your mind a thought (even if it's not true,) it starts to believe that thought.
Are you having an okay weekend so far? Remember to do something that you enjoy doing.
I hope this helps. I will talk to you either after I see my therapist on Tuesday or on Wednesday.
Llama00• in reply to
No my weekend is like every other day. Me alone and sad.
That's down to you - You must change them .
We need to take control of our thoughts - become responsible for ourselves.
Are you on any strong medication or any medication at all - if so maybe it's time to see your doctor to discuss these thoughts and consider a medication review. Always check the patient leaflet for possible side effects.
General advice ;
Do you drink enough water? Plenty advised.
Are you eating well? Healthy fresh foods?
Are you getting some early nights?
There is a lot of good advice on here in various replies from people who care. Your post asked for Advice? It's now down to you.
You're right I know, it's just difficult. I don't take any meds, I only drink water, I sleep at random times or not much at all. I eat decent.
• in reply toLlama00
(Sorry to step in again, Mary. You're doing awesome🙂)
Llama: why do you sleep at random times or not at all? Do you have a sleep disorder? (I have two, so I know all about fragmented sleep schedules). It is really important to try and stick to a set schedule. Not doing so (or not sleeping at all) really affects us psychologically. Do you think that this might be why you're having so much trouble?
Llama00• in reply to
Well even when I use to have a schedule I felt this way and lately when I try to sleep I can't. When I do sleep it isn't long.
Mary-intussuception• in reply to
Why do you keep saying sorry , no need to
x
• in reply toMary-intussuception
Not a clue.
That's a good affirmation for me actually:
" I do not need to apologize"
Mary-intussuception• in reply to
❤️🤗
Please write down -
'I am Precious and Beautifully made'
Then read it every morning and evening.
xXx
I tried to listen and I woke up not feeling terrible. I was feeling ok but then it was ruined and now I'm starting to feel gloomy again.
You could be suffering from sleep deprivation.
Keep fighting the gloomy thoughts.
Could you watch a light hearted DVD? Listen to some music? Go for a walk in a popular park?
Try having something to eat and getting an early night.
Is there a helpline you could call to talk things through ?
There's no helpline I could call. I was listening to music feeling calm and talking to my friend that I don't get to speak to alot but my mom is forcing me to go out somewhere with her and that upset me because I don't like being around my family.
How old are you
I'm 25
Then you don't have to go out with your Mom if you don't want to.
What 'force' did she use?
Is your Mom your Carer?
I live with my grandmother but my mom is here most the time and forced as like just said it and my choice didn't matter.
She just said it!!!
So you went along with it? You didn't say 'No, I'm not going' ?
You decided to go.
It's up to you.
She did not " force' you - that would be a police matter.
Taking someone by force, is a very serious matter.
Why don't you try talking to your Mother or Grandmother or both.
You live in the USA?
Yes, there are helplines.
You could try a Google search.
Here's one:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
(24 hours a day. Calls are free and confidential).
another:
SAMARITANS USA
877-870-4673
Call or text. Open 24 hours a day
Or look on their website - Google your area.
Oh that's what you meant by hopeline. Yea I've called before
Yes helpline. You can call again - anytime.
You could ask for direction / guidance to on-going support. Or just keep calling them as needed.
I edited my last reply - added a couple of numbers.
Thanks I'll look into it
🤗❤️
Before bed I like to write down all my thoughts on paper and then in the morning I look over them and for example if it’s like me thinking i’m broken I change that to “I am healing”
It helps a lot. Thoughts will always roam through our minds that’s just how the brain works.
Something I looked up because I was curious
“It was found that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thousands of thoughts, 80% were negative, and 95% were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.”
This is normal and you’re not alone! When you say you get sad and think of dying does this mean you are scared of dying?
Llama00• in reply to
No, more of I think a lot of suicidal thoughts.
• in reply toLlama00
I was the same way before but please don’t act on those thoughts. Let them pass. Praying about all of that helps me too. You are so loved and you are cared for. If you ever need someone to talk to i’m here! I’d love to help and be a friend.
Llama00• in reply to
Thanks, I don't have many friends and the few I have made has been from this site. So thank you everyone here is always kind to me when I'm feeling down.
• in reply toLlama00
I’ll glad be a friend ❤️ I know how it feels to not have many friends but it’s better to have less than more in my opinion. Keep around the ones who care about you. I’m glad you found this forum. It’s so wonderful and everyone is so helpful, sure you get some trolls on here but that’s not often. Give yourself a big hug 🤗 It’s great that you are reaching out.
Well, I get very depressed sometimes too, but I'm very into music and a great song can usually cheer me up. Find some music that has a positive message to it, no matter what kind or style of music you like. A song that comforts me when I'm down- go to YouTube and check out God Bless this Mess by Jillian Jacqueline. Or the song People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson. Let me know what you think!!! And think about what you like about yourself, there's got to be something!!!☺
Llama00• in reply to
I honestly can't think of anything I like about myself and I'll try out your recommendations.
Hey, I just wanna say I think we’re the same on that point, I keep distracting myself and then when I stop I just think about how everything is pointless and life is not worth it.. When it happens I try to remember the good things, I think about someone who I really like, happy memories, jokes and all, it doesn’t always work and of course this might not work for you as we are different. Maybe you should try and explore those thoughts, I did this a few years ago, it made me really depressed and on the verge of suicide but eventually I decided on an objective to keep me going, its not even a big deal because it’s hard to find a dream when you like pretty much nothing. Just remember that it’s not because you’re alone now, that you always will be, i’m sure there are a lot of people like you but you just didn’t meet. Of course it will probably keep happening no matter what so all I can say is good luck and don’t give up too fast I’m sure you’ll eventually find your own solution.
I do try exploring happy thoughts and small goals I could one day meet but I feel I don't know where to start in life. Like if I was in a race there's so much in the way I can't begin and then what if I get through just to fail.
• in reply toLlama00
Hi Llama00,
You say you don't know where to begin in life. You're not alone, not by a long shot. I don't think anyone knows where to begin. Just jump in anywhere.
It's great to hear that you're exploring happy thoughts and small goals! As far as the happy thoughts go, hold onto those. As far as the goals go, take one step at a time. The smaller the goal the better, since big ones can be overwhelming. Celebrate those small victories in your life, and this includes the really small victories. For example, if you have trouble getting out of bed, but are still able to do that, celebrate it; if you have a hard time finding the energy to brush you're teeth, but still manage to do it, celebrate it; etc.
Also, how do you know you're going to fail? We can't see into the future (although sometimes it would be nice if we could).
Llama00• in reply to
My whole lifes been a failure so I doubt it changes.
• in reply toLlama00
What do you mean by this?
Llama00• in reply to
I mean that I'm a failure. I haven't achieved anything at all
• in reply toLlama00
What do you think you need to achieve in order to not be a failure? What I mean by this as follows and is an example from my own life:
It was always instilled in my siblings and I that we needed to complete at least a 4-year college degree. Because of this, I was devastated and almost took my life the day I was kicked out of the dorms. It was 3 weeks before the end of my first semester of junior year. Because I went to college out-of-state, being unable to live in the dorms meant the same thing as quitting at that college and going home. Am I a failure because I only got a 2-year degree instead of the prized 4-year degree that my parents instilled in us? Of course not! I'm me! I'm going through life my way! I am successful for who I am! Same goes for you. You are not a failure! You are you! You're going through life your way and you are successful for who you are!
Llama00• in reply to
I may be going through life my way but in everyone's eye I'm a burden and a failure. That no one is proud of.
• in reply toLlama00
It doesn't matter what others think. What matters is that you are proud of what you're doing.
Llama00• in reply to
I'm not though. I've never been proud of myself. I just hate how difficult life is, like I can never catch a break.
• in reply toLlama00
Life is difficult. What don't you like about yourself?
Llama00• in reply to
Everything.
• in reply toLlama00
Can you give me an example?
Llama00• in reply to
Where I live. My looks
• in reply toLlama00
Looks aren't everything. It's what inside that counts. Do you think good looks are somehow tied to being successful?
The same goes for where you live. You live at home, is this correct?
Llama00• in reply to
Yea I feel they somewhat are and yes I live at home with my grandmother
• in reply toLlama00
Did someone tell you they are connected or is this just what you think? They aren't connected, btw.
Regarding where you live: do you think you're a failure because you live at home? Your not. I lived at home for most of my 20s.
Llama00• in reply to
No said connected to me but experiences show me otherwise
• in reply toLlama00
I'm sorry to hear that because that couldn't be farther from the truth.
Llama00• in reply to
How?
• in reply toLlama00
You said that experiences show you that there is a positive correlation between looks and success. I'm just saying that that's not true.
Llama00• in reply to
I just feel differently about it.
• in reply toLlama00
Good morning! That is absolutely fine; you are entitled to your opinion. I was just trying to cheer you up, that's all🙂
I hope you're doing okay.
Get a dog.
Do you not have any hobbies or interests? Why not go out for a walk, it's surprising how much better that can make you feel. Find yourself a good book and engross yourself in that. Just need to put your mind to other things rather than dwelling on sad side of life
Llama00• in reply to
Even when I try to distract myself I can't stop thinking.
You’re not alone ...❤️ I also can never distract myself with any hobbies or activities, for me it doesn’t take the feeling away completely but it helps me feel a tiny bit better, I like to listen to positive affirmations asmr videos .. kind of weird I know but it’s nice to have someone say the things you really need to hear in those moments. Give it a shot maybe 
But they don't really know me
What kind of thoughts are they? Like depressive/anxious thoughts? OCD intrusive thoughts? Trauma-related thoughts? Honestly, for me personally, what tends to work for me is to watch a funny TV show or watch funny videos. It allows me to laugh at something for awhile and get out of the rumination cycle. Impractical Jokers and South Park are the two shows that really help when I'm stressed or depressed.
I have depressive and anxious thoughts like suicidal ones mainly.
Have you tried finding a healthy hobby to keep your mind occupied? Walking, having a pet, doing crafts are all things that help me keep my mind from going to a dark place.
Yea I try playing video games or watching funny shows but usually once I start feeling down I can't stop.
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