Need Advice

[Peachesandcream28]

i am a 28 year old who suffers from severe anxiety and sometimes depression. Last night i told my boyfriend whom i live with that i wasn’t feeling safe with my own thoughts, and that i was scared to be alone and to let those thoughts continue. he did not say anything in response to that, and slept in another room. upon waking up today, he promptly told me he was moving out, which escalated my anxiety even higher. so i locked myself in my bedroom, and he called the cops. At this point, it feels like he instigated this to occur. how am i ever suppose to return to a relationship that doesn’t make me safe when i’m feeling unsafe? the anxiety of potentially breaking up is not needed right now, but what is more important. i just need some help and advice navigating such a compounded situation.

[Hidden]

Do you have anyone else that can support you through this difficult time? Then use them is my best advice, otherwise contact your doctor and explain the problem

[Survivor4Ever]

Can you call a crisis phone when you feel this way? Sounds like you have more than severe anxiety and sometimes depression. Unsafe thoughts I’m assuming you are referring to suicide or am I wrong? . it’s best to get help before it’s too late. It is just not worth it. You are more valuable and worthy than you know. Sometimes relationships can be toxic also and not functional, but there’s other fish in the sea. However, you have to love and accept yourself first. That may possibly getting a therapist or I don’t know some people need medication or find coping skills. I wish you the best

[Hidden]

Hi there, I am sorry to hear that your anxiety is worse. I am going to say some things that may be unpopular, disliked, etc. I write them because I think that they are true. There are going to be friends and lovers who will -- if you say you are feeling unsafe with your feelings, they will call the cops. They simply cannot handle the fact that your feelings are that intense. You will need to choose who to tell and who not to tell. If you think that your lover/life partner/spouse needs to be one who can hear those things and not call the cops, your current situation is not the one for you. It is painful I know, however, that is just how it (might be) is. It is very hard to explain to people (1) feeling unsafe; (2) wanting to end your life; and (3) actually having the steps and plan to end your life. There are people I cannot tell 1, 2, or 3 to. They are fine for banter, for light conversation, for emoticons and not more than that. There are people who I can only say (1) to and they will give me the normal coping mechanisms (breathe, (used to be go for a walk), watch tv, etc. etc.). There are few people I can say (2) and not have them lose their sh*t completely. As for (3), I was there a few days ago and I think I told two or three people. No one called the police. One person called me but I simply could not speak. I took whatever it was so I could not possibly leave the house so.... there was no leaping at full speed head first.... If you do not feel safe in your relationship, you need to consider moving on. Finding ways to cope with your anxiety right now is a priority. Relationships, unfortunately for those of us who are romantics (or maybe it's good), come and go. You will get through this. You will feel safe again, alone and with your lover/partner/spouse whoever that is. My best advice is to: (1) talk to trusted friends, therapist, text / crisis line; (2) deep breaths and other exercises to alleviate physical symptoms; (3) continue posting here if that is helping you; (4) journal to figure out your own thoughts and feelings. I hope you are feeling better right now.

[Rachel2535]

First please know I am praying for you. Second do you have family, friends, a pastor or mentor that you can sit down with and talk things through? You have been through so much in the past day and taking the time to recover is important. Love is patient, kind, it always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. That is pure love. Love that God gives and love that we should look for in a husband or wife. You are worth the time and journey it will take to find love like that. Find someone near you to advise you wisely. If you can not try thehopeline.com they have a ton of free resources and people you can talk to. I am praying for you. -Rachel

[mysticfawn]

Oh my goodness PeachesandCream28! He does not deserve you! You deserve someone that is there for you through thick and thin. Someone understanding and not someone who runs at the first sight of reality! You're better off without the added stress of that relationship. You should address you issues with a therapist. Sometimes medication and a fresh start is exactly what the doctor ordered. Good luck.