Family

[Tsmtam123]

I don't understand why family can be so uncaring and hurtful

[blueorganic1021]

I completely agree! I know it must be impossible for them to understand completely because they don’t actually feel the same way we do, but it still seems like they could try a little bit harder to empathize and provide some much-needed support.

Just this morning actually, my husband told me that my depression is “nothing but a crutch.” This was very hurtful and upsetting for me. It felt like he physically stabbed me in the heart with a knife!

I know he can’t fully understand what it’s like to live with depression, but he still didn’t have to say that! How inconsiderate!

Just bringing it up to tell you about it right now is bringing up a lot of emotions to go along with it.

At the time, I really felt like saying “I guess diabetes is nothing but a crutch too then,” but I was able to bite my tongue, as I know this would not be helpful.

He has struggled with diabetes and not being able to lose weight for several years now, and even though I don’t have diabetes, I still try my best to empathize and provide my support to him.

I know how my husband is though, he gets upset and he says things he doesn’t really mean or actually even think about quite often, and I try to keep that in mind but it’s definitely hard sometimes.

Overall, I know he means well, but I completely agree with you, it is super frustrating and painful when our loved ones aren’t able to understand and see things from our point of view. It would be so great if they could be more supportive and be more mindful of our feelings and our needs.

Try to hang in there and know that we all struggle with this sometimes, which is exactly why it’s so important for us to all come together to support each other in this type of community, because we DO understand, and we DO know exactly how that feels, and we DO want to provide our support and let you know you are never alone.

Hugs and prayers.

[Tsmtam123 in reply to blueorganic1021]

We are all human and have feelings and want to feel supported and loved, just because someone has a mental illness doesn't mean they still dont have feelings, we are suppose to care for one another and be supportive especially your spouse or family members

[Myre in reply to Tsmtam123]

Supposed being the key word here. Family denotes unity, harmonization of thought, feelings and decisions. Family is centralization, stability. Sadly the most of us are made to feel like it's no more than a dream, a myth we are chasing. I make excuses one too often, attempt to understand the basis of their hurtful actions; they are not always malicious in intent if not insensitive and always hurtful no matter how I may try to deny. I seek comfort and happiness at any moment; when they drive me to tears on a constant basis and force me to hide my self within the recess of my mind then I know that's it's not okay, I am not okay. Family happens to constitute of humans and most of us aren't saints. We can be horrible, selfish, resentful and as much as we value the idea of family and togetherness, it all settles into one essential imperative value; 'self'. You will feel unloved, dismissed, misunderstood but our personalities, experiences will create perspectives, routes that as we grow older we can't dare to deviate. Family included as the individuals they are. Now put all of that aside, the basis or process behind their actions and just do you. Love you and prioritize you. Seeking self gratification is not a vice, the fact that you place yourself over others doesn't make one self centered. The goal is to attain a level of mentality whereby your loved ones and everyone else associated to you recieves a similar level of tolerance and acceptance as you give yourself. Caring for oneself shouldn't require one to neglect others. Remember, family is where we find warmth, we can break the cycle by extending the comfort we crave to others.

[Tsmtam123 in reply to Myre]

Well said! 💞

[Hidden]

I wish I knew. You’re not alone 💕

[Iammesues]

Me neither. Just remember to turn away when it’s too much to bare. You deserve good people and if it’s not them please save yourself. You’re too important

[pink318]

Hi- I’m so sorry to hear this. How are you today?

I hope you will find comfort here.

I pray that things will go well in your family.

Please keep us posted, we are here for each other.