Family

[GlutenLadYorkshire]

My parents in law/outlaws live with us and they literally do my head in they even try to tell my kids off and that really agitates me, I hate living with them, I hate there ways, I absolutely want rid of them but my wife always takes there side it’s making me depressed and low, I’m a 36 year old and don’t need interference by two old codgers,I can’t even disagree with my wife without her parents sticking there nose in. I’m so miserable that I walked away one day and now the doctors think I have a problem well yes I do the bloody in-laws there my problem, I also have medical anxiety which can be deliberating. I been out of work for a year and the doctor has said for me not to drive which is not good as I used to be financially independent and now I risk loosing my home as I can’t afford mortgage repayments. Sorry to rant has anybody lived with there in-laws and how did you cope?

[Hidden]

I do. A year and a half now. My husband is unemployed and we have a teenager. It's miserable!! Mil picks on me and my child. She makes her feel so bad about herself. She criticizes my weight but says nothing to her son who just won't work. I'm 46! I need my own place again and all our things have been in storage this whole times. My daughter has outgrown all her toys and books in there. It's really sad. Sorry, don't have advice, just joining the rant.

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to Hidden]

I totally understand, they need to keep there opinions to themselves, don’t want to even talk to them as far as I’m concerned they can do one at the end of the day it’s my house and won’t have them trying to tell my kids what to do or tell them off it’s not there job unless there going to harm themselves. It’s getting really bad I’m full of hatred and my stress levels are up but why should I be like them I’m my own person and won’t change for anybody.

[Hidden in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

At least it's your house, your rules. We are in mils house!! We hardly have any rights there. Just a tiny bedroom. I am thankful but it's real hard when I get picked on and I'm the one working my butt off, not her son!

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to Hidden]

I don’t feel like it’s my house though, I have walked out but my wife found me on “find my friends” on the iphone it’s bad I feel I don’t have any rights because if I say anything the mil stick her nose in

[Hidden in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

Don't feel bad as long as you return. Just this morning I was pondering prices for a one br apt. just for me. Of course I wouldn't leave my daughter but getting up at five and looking at my husband who is sleeping and will be all day makes me crazy!

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to Hidden]

I would love to go to work and drive again the doctor is playing it safe as he thinks I may have a neurological problem which I know I don’t have I had slurred speech and was unsteady after an ear infection last year so I’m off to see a specialist later this month, so being off work has sent me slightly mads as I was financially independent and was able to drive, I was thinking of moving on my own but would probably regret moving from my two daughters there both under 11, I put there happiness before my own.

[Hidden in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

Hang in there. This won't be forever.

[hypercat54 in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

Well I think you need to have a chat with your wife and tell her your concerns and that she needs to back you up. Or as they are her parents she could have a quiet word with them. They are out of order telling the both of you how to raise your own chxildren and need telling to shut up and mind their own business.

Are your parents-in-law pensioners? Are they working? In either case they need to be working on finding their own place and not trying to rule you in your own home. In the UK they will be entitled to benefits if they are pensioners or not working so there is no excuse for continuing to live with you.

If your wife is taking their side then she is completely wrong, and should be backing you. United you stand and divided you fall. x

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to hypercat54]

There pensioners and my wife takes there side so I’m on my own if I say owt I’m wrong so I feel like giving up and went to see the psychologist and he thinks I’m paranoid which I know Im not I just don’t like the situation im in maybe I best being honest with folk even if they don’t like it.

[hypercat54 in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

Well tell your wife she is completely and utterley wrong. Also tell her if they won't go then you will - and mean it. Do you have a friend or family member you could stay with for a while? Once she knows you are serious then she might think again. This isn't on as she should be backing you up instead of making you feel like a naughty schoolboy in your own house. Ask her if she has ever heard of loyalty. x

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to hypercat54]

I’ve spoken to her, walked out and she found me. She isn’t interested in me she seems more loyal to her mam and dad I could go to me mum and dads but there about 250miles away

[hypercat54 in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

Have you tried speaking calmly to her on her own? Also if you aren't working then why not go to your parents if this is better for you. x

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to hypercat54]

Yes tried speaking calmly and assertively got no where so probably my best option is to go to my parents, my only gripe is that I’ll miss my young children who I think the world of, but on the other hand I think I’ll be a lot happier and they will see that and not a grumpy man.

[hypercat54 in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

Well she will certainly learn whether she wants her parents or you. If she picks her parents then there isn't a great deal you can do except make sure you have access to your children. If you left though she mind finds she misses you more. x

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to hypercat54]

Well you are certainly right, I’ll have to see what happens, it’s a hard decision but I’m getting that low that I have to something about it thank you for your advice it’s been helpful I’m just so confused it’s messing my head up.

[hypercat54 in reply to GlutenLadYorkshire]

It's much easier to be outside of a situation and to see it clearly. When you are in it yourself emotions get in the way and you end up confused and unsure of yourself. x

[GlutenLadYorkshire in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you I feel a bit better already just speaking to someone also helps thanks again