feeling defeated

[prisonmike7]

i am at a point where i just feel like giving up. i am just miserable. it doesnt matter how hard i try. it doesnt matter how hard i try to fake it until i make it. im just to a point where nothing matters and i just want to be by myself. im tired of always feeling shitty about myself. im tired of my depression and anxiety making everything harder. even when i feel like i am doing better it always fails. i feel like it is always something. im never happy. i hate being around people and feeling like i am letting them down or disappointing them bc im not ok and im to a point where i cant even put on a fake smile. this week has sucked and all i want to do is sleep and even though im exhausted and my eyes are heaving from crying my mind is to powerful to shut off. praying i can get some sleep tonight. praying things will get better. praying things will get easier.

[Africschoice]

There is only you that can make a difference, you have to be strong, look at what's around you, what changes could you make. If it's any consequence I too have had the shittiest week, I too have cried myself to sleep but I did go through my anguish as tears rolled down my face, I did make the decision that I had to suck it up at work, can't change that, but I can change the way I deal with issues in myself, work them out like a puzzle until it drops into place. What are you doing for you to drag yourself out of this flunk. Let us know, we all might have ideas to help.

[JCPrague]

It sounds like you have major depression. Are you receiving any treatment for it? You did not mention it in your post. I know it is a very horrible feeling and it really makes it difficult to go on living. I know it is difficult to be around people when you feel so terrible. It is hard to try and put on a happy face when you will so bad.

Let us know if you are receving any type of treatment for it. See a psychiatrist if you can. It really sounds like you need help.

[WingOver]

I know what you are saying. For me, those thoughts and feelings come from a strong “inner critic”. A few times it has helped to write down what it is saying, and then under that, list all the things that prove it ISN’T true. One common one in me is the idea that I am letting them down. So I make a list of things I have done, ways I have been successful, small acts of kindness, etc.

It also helps to just get outside for a bit, even 10 minutes, and focus on what I am sensing, that is, what am I hearing, how does the wind feel on my face, can I find a small creature to watch, like a lizard, and just focus it its world for a minute. I hope these things might help you a little bit.

[LoveBear]

I’m so sorry. Praying that things get easier for you. Keeping you in my thoughts.