Interesting -Personality Changes

[Survivor4Ever]

I listened to a podcast yesterday . And the guy said we are not our pills we take. We are not our medication. We are not our Xanax or whatever you take. I feel like yes this is true sometimes we become one with our medication. They change our personalities I think of who we use to be. We tend to have different personality and characteristic traits, I feel for me personally. Kind of like depression and anxiety changes our personality. We are not the same person we were before. It makes us irritable, angry, frustrated,we want to hide from the world isolate, we want to do self harm for some of us out there. We procrastinate, unmotivated, fatigued, anxious, avoid people. So if depression and anxiety can change our personality perhaps so do medication. My thoughts for the day.

So I’ll add this quote.....

“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are."

[Agora1]

Survivor, my thoughts on your post are that anxiety changed who I was completely.

I didn't know who I was anymore. I became frightened of everything. I kept apologizing

for being this way and yet couldn't change. And then along came my doctor's prescription

for Xanax...Cautiously I took it...Hey it worked. It took away the fear. I felt invincible that is

until it wore off.

What it made me was void of any emotions. I slept a lot during the day. I didn't care to

go out even though the anxiety was under control. I walked around in a fog. It made me

not care who I had become.

After 30 years in being left on a small once a day dose, with the help of a great psychiatrist

I was weaned off the medication. It wasn't easy but so well worth it.

I got myself back, better than ever. Thanks for writing an interesting post. xx

[Survivor4Ever in reply to Agora1]

I’m glad you did.

[EsmeLu in reply to Agora1]

This hasn’t happened to me but I only take it as needed. Anxiety and Major Depressive Disorder changes who I was. I went from strong-and fearless to a puddle of goo on the floor. Too scared to even leave the house. Terrified of reading my email or opening the snail mail. The meds helped me get to a point where I could seek therapy and now that therapy is slowly helping me get back to a new normal.

[Survivor4Ever in reply to EsmeLu]

That’s good your getting back your normal self again

[Agora1 in reply to EsmeLu]

EsmeLu... let me say that in each of our lives in dealing with anxiety/depression there comes a time we need the help of medication in order to break the cycle of fear. It gives

us the chance to seek help with therapy and learn about other modalities in healing.

I could not have gotten where I am today without having been on medication in the earlier years. The problem was that because it was a small dose, once a day became a habit and not a necessity.

When I became Agoraphobic for 5 years is when I knew I needed more than medication and therapy. Once I started applying myself in moving forward is when I started to heal.

I wish you well. Never believe that medication isn't a part of the healing process. Wishing you well in getting yourself back to a new normal. xx

[Hidden]

Well I hate taking these medications and seeing a psychiatrist. The medications do help, but I'm sick of constantly taking pills and I feel forced to take them. There is so much more to me than having a mental health condition. Why are we supposed to take these meds for the rest of our lives???

[EsmeLu in reply to Hidden]

We take them as long as we need them. I tutored a 7 y/o boy who had Diabetes 1. It broke my heart watching him test his own blood sugar and then give himself the insulin injection. He’d be fine and during class his blood sugar would drop so I had to get him a glucose tablet and orange juice. Or I could tell it was too hug and he’d have to stop to test it again. And he was so young. So then who are we to complain when all we have to take is a few pills while we need them? Even if we need them forever, so what? Do you know how many a cancer or AIDS patient takes in one day? Bottom line is we have an illness and all we have to do is take our meds. Be thankful it’s not worse. If you’re not seeing a therapist, find one that suits you. Talking to a professional makes you see things differently. Good-luck and take care of yourself—that includes taking your meds. ❤️ 😊 🤗

[Survivor4Ever]

I’m sorry to hear that. Do you feel like a different person than you use to be with these medications?

[Hidden in reply to Survivor4Ever]

Well in all honesty I feel like this broken person who needs these stupid medications like some kind of crutch. And I don't want to need them at all. Who wants to take pills morning and night all the time, every day of the year??? There's a psychiatrist named Peter Breggin who actually came up with a manual to wean people off of psychiatric drugs. I wish I could find a psychiatrist who would work with me to do that. But I don't think I ever will. I just feel persecuted to take these drugs forever, and it's taking it's toll on me. And I'm not working either, and that's getting to me too. Sorry to be talking like this, I just don't see any way out of this way of life. Tired of barely surviving.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Googoodolls, I have taken antidepressants for 25 years. I understand how you feel about getting sick of taking these pills everyday, and how it becomes your life, but I need to tell you my experience with going off of my meds. Six years ago, a friend told me to stop my pills and start taking 2 different natural pills for depression. So I weaned myself off my meds and started this natural crap. What a horrible experience!! Never again. I became so depressed that I couldn't even take care of myself and my dog anymore. So much anxiety that I just wanted to kill myself. A friend of mine took me into the hospital, since I couldn't talk or function anymore. After that experience, never again. In the hospital, they try different pills to bring you back, give you lots of food, take away anything that can harm you. Mind you, I had to wait in a lounge chair in the hospital with about 30 other people, waiting for a bed for 2 days. After all that, it was a plastic bed. I was there for 2 weeks. You are stuck in there, and can't get out. Think about it before going off your pills. It's a very tough life we live with no empathy from the world.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I know that experience all too well, I've been on psyche wards many times, I'm on disability. My life just really sucks and I'm sorry, I'm very irritable right now, my mom is annoying me and I get triggered too easily by other people. I'm just this stupid over sensitive empath and I just get messed with and used by other people. The psychiatrists make tons of money off of me and I'm barely surviving.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You sound just like me. I too was on disability, people use me and say things that upset me, and then I usually isolate and have lots of anger with everyone have suicide thoughts.

My mother used to talk about me to her lady friends and sisters. At one time I wanted to sell real estate. I worked in offices my whole life with shit pay and no respect. I tried so hard to pass the real estate test. I failed it 2 times and gave up. I couldn't even study for this test because she thought I was too stupid to pass it. She said to me one day that she knew a lady that passed the test, and that was because she was smart. I was put down my whole life by people and that's why I have no self esteem.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!! I feel for what you're telling me. It can really be a dog-eat-dog world that we live in. Seems to me like some people live by some kind of pecking order. It's hard to have any self esteem when you're living at the bottom of it. I think it's important not to give up hope. I tried going back to college in my 30s. Took a variety of classes but alas, no degree, and I am so tired of sitting in classrooms. I like the saying that sometimes rejection is God's protection. Meaning that maybe God has something better in store for you than working in real estate. My sister who also has bipolar disorder besides me, she's really frustrated because got a degree in social work but then she took the test to be certified twice and she didn't pass it. Sometimes the third time is the charm, as they say. In my case I just don't feel like these psyche meds are really helping me at all anymore, and I think a lot of psychiatrists are very condescending and full of bs. I just feel like there has to be a better way than all the flak I've been through. I think the mental health system victimizes people, it doesn't empower them. We are taught to believe we are these broken, messed up people. Going through some of the scary experiences I have had, I feel like Alice in Wonderland or something like that. Getting spoon fed drugs. I'm not saying I'm totally against psychiatric drugs, I think they can benefit people, but why should I need them the rest of my entire life??? Carrying around the label of having bipolar disorder is a heavy cross to bear.

[kleelibby]

Hi I share many of your feelings. I believe that every medication I’ve taken over the years has changed my personality and who I feel I am, if that makes any sense. And to people who say “oh I can tell your new medication is working” wtf is that supposed to mean?!

[Obianujum]

Thanks for sharing

[Lazy_dog_lover]

Great point. I resisted medication for a long time because I was afraid I would think and act differently which would make me uncomfortable and make others comment on me.

I have tried so many combinations of meds, I could not even list them. Many made me feel worse, some made me feel better. While we can't define ourselves by our medications, be wary that others, unknowingly, will, as they only see that outer shell.

Don't be afraid to call the doctor back if something is not working or if side effects are too dominant. Peace.

[Survivor4Ever in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Very true

[Yesterdayhurts]

I am new to all this, I can tell you that being angry and unhappy all the time really sucked. The meds I take have allowed me to focus and be happy and with out them and county stabiliziton center I was on my way to losing or possibly even taking my own life four weeks ago. My wife has told that it's like having her husband back. Not to mention the Wonderful support and wisdom I have received since joining this group. Thank you you all.

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Yesterdayhurts]

I am so glad you found something that works and you have a great support system. Do you know about the ; tattoos?

[Yesterdayhurts in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Never heard of tattoos

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Yesterdayhurts]

In grammar, the semicolon works like a pause and replaces "and" connecting two complete thoughts. A few years back, people who either contemplated suicide or almost lost a loved on, were getting a ; tatoo. Most I have seen are on the wrist. It means that the person or loved one thought one way and then paused, chosing a different route. It is a reminder of choices. A reminder of support systems. A reminder that things can get better.

[Kels78]

Hi Survivor, I find that as an anxious person already this virus had sent me in to overdrive at first. Crazy OCD etc, before this I was reducing my meds with a view to come off them completely. Then I got the virus and so did my partner. It was a really scary time and some of the chest pain I had was definitely more anxiety than the virus itself. We were lucky and we both recovered without treatment but since then I have realised that life is short and precious. Not to take things and people for granted and to take better care of my health. I’m staying on my lowered dose of meds for now but some good has come out of all this personally for me.

[Survivor4Ever in reply to Kels78]

Life is short. We must remember how life precious and that you are worthy and that you are a somebody! I’m so happy you recovered and come to a realization of that you are priceless and that where you are today. Good for you. Keep your head up. No matter what. Take it in strides

[Kels78]

Thank you Survivor. You sound like a person with a lot of positivity. Its a good way to be. I’m starting to get there now but I think a lot of anxious people are that way because of bad times in the past. Has the pandemic affected you personally? Are you in the UK or US? I’m glad the UK government has woken up and made everyone wear masks in public places at last. They should have done this from day 1.

[Survivor4Ever in reply to Kels78]

In the US and it’s required personally where I live. It definitely has affected me. I got anxiety from it as well. At first. Still do at times. It’s one of those things that comes and goes. I just try not to let it get the best of me. Now depression is another story entirely different. That monster is even harder to battle. There’s this app called MindShift I really like it. If you want to check it out.