I've finally talked with my father, after 4 months of silence, and I (again) expressed the problems and pain he's put me through and said I wanted to fix it. But he unfortunately decided to choose pride over me. So I told him I'm giving him one last chance to care about our relationship, but same thing. So I let him know I'm removing him from my life for awhile.
what can I do to make him see, without his pride and gaslighting get in the way?
One of the best ways to face an arrogant person is by showing up with your own high self-confidence. Enter an encounter with an arrogant person with the knowledge that you are strong, worthy and self-assured. When you feel more in tune with yourself you will be less likely to let an arrogant person’s comments get to you. It will prohibit you from being vulnerable. An arrogant person may be unable to relate to you, and instead say cruel things. However you can let this slide when you feel secure in yourself.
Pride and low self-esteem. 
How can a happy person like you be so sad? 
I have no idea how to make friends.
How do I make myself do something? 
How to Beat Social Anxiety & Troubles Making Friends
