Hi,
I’d like to ask for some tips on how to cope with the anxiety that comes from interacting with other people, such as when having conversations or going out together.
I feel like everybody is observing me all the time and that makes me uncomfortable and sick when I have to meet people.
But I also know that deep down it is my inner critic that is always judging and evaluating my social performance.
I just want to feel connected with my classmates and co-workers.
Thank you.
Hi yes it is your inner critic. You know in reality people are much too busy thinking about themselves to give others a second thought. After all why should they bother? People are much too self absorbed to do that!
The best advice I can give you is try not thinking about your own feelings when conversing and concentrate on putting the other person at ease instead. Make being in your company a pleasant experience for them and they will come back for more.
Hi,
Thanks a lot. That’s a really wise advice. I’ll try to do that next time.
It's not easy so don't expect quick results but it does work as I know from my own experience.
Another conversation tip is even when you are not talking follow the conversation and pay attention to what's being discussed. You will feel more connected that way.
Hey I know it’s not easy to put yourself out there and hangout with friends and family I don’t have social anxiety except for when I go out to eat I absolutely don’t like eating in front of people because I am a bigger woman and people are always staring at me or it feels like it it actually has taken me awhile to regain myself enough to go out to eat by people but in little bits so I am more comfortable some things that help me is to breathe in and out and say positive things it’s a new thing I am working on another thing that helps me is talking one on one whether it’s a therapist or friend or family I also listen to a calming sound that I downloaded and imagine that I was somewhere that i like that’s calm I hope that helps you if you need a friend or just someone to talk to I am here for you you are not alone
The more you push yourself to get out there, the easy it will get. I was always pretty social, at least as an adult, but when the pandemic hit I became very isolated. So when things opened back up I felt super awkward in social situations and felt like a fish out of water. But the more I went out, the better it got. It just takes practice and flexing that social muscle again.
To stop feeling so self-conscious, it can help to try to focus on the other people you're around instead of on yourself. Focus on being a good listener and a good friend and just enjoy their company. When you think about others it can help get you out of your head. Start small with a few people so you don't feel overwhelmed. It can be harder in a large group to fight for a word in a conversation, but with just a few people it's easier just to talk with more ease. But if you are in a large group, try to find a person or two you feel comfortable with to chat it up with. Find something you have a common interest in, either outside of or about school/work to talk about. And ask questions. People love talking about their interests and themselves.
Take it one step at a time. You won't likely feel 100% more comfortable after one night out, but it should improve over time the more you try.
Some very good advice there.
Hey there, I have been struggling with the same thing. I found the info here quite helpful: cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resour...
People are my problem. Lol. Actually I’m my problem and socializing just exacerbates it. I figure people are judging me as much and as harshly as I judge me. Maybe some do but that’s their problem.
For every hour I spend with people, I need at least five hours decompression time. But unfortunately I’m a social animal who needs human interaction.
It’s already been mentioned to try and think about what you can bring into a situation. Rather than focusing on yourself. Make someone smile today.
I feel the same way, after spending some time with people and especially crowds, I need to decompress for a few hours. I don’t mind being alone but I am bothered I have no friends. My social anxiety has gotten increasingly worse the last few years. I’m 62 and would like to have companionship and friendship but can’t seem to make that first step. I seem to get in my own way
A lot of introverts need to decompress after social gatherings,
Would you call yourself an introvert?
🐬
Hello that's a good question dolphin may I ask summer virgo are you a virgo birth sine as they are as a rule introvert and perfectionist, critical of themselves and others is that your birth sine there's other factors of course like ascendant and moon sine 🤗
Being here is helpful. You’re not alone. There are plenty of people who understand you. I’m 74 and try to at least make one social engagement a month. Not counting doctors and hospitals. Lol.
I suggest you find a therapist who specializes in treating social anxiety disorder and work with them so you can learn new productive skills for thinking and coping with your SA. For what ever reason or seasons you have learned some thinking and behaviors as a means for protecting yourself that aren't productive or helpful and you need help in realizing them and learning helpful constructive ones. If there aren't any therapists near you, there are online programs and resources available. One I used was from the socialanxietyinstitute.org
Thank you. That’s good advice
I suffer with social anxiety and find it hard to take that first step to make a connection. It’s hard getting out of my head and I try to tell myself people aren’t really judging me as much as I’m judging myself. I overthink everything and get so worked up I don’t say anything. It’s toug taking that first step. I need help with that too
How do you make friends who understand?
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