Anyone have any tips on how to love yourself?

[olidaman]

I graduated high school last year and I didn't do too well so I couldn't get into the course I wanted in any university. I'm now studying online as a pathway but I feel stupid and useless as I see all my friends and peers around me know what they're doing with their lives while I have no clue and scared of the future. I want a girlfriend but feel like I need to love myself first. I have friends and I sometimes go out but I still feel lonely and let them make all the plans because I'm always afraid of rejection like they hate me or think I'm annoying. I hate myself because I only care what others think of me and when I do nice things, I'm not nice, I just want to look like a good person. I feel fake and I want to look forward to the future but I can't, I just always think of the worst and miss the past when I was in school when I felt like I know what I was doing with my life.

I just want to love and put myself out there more, but I can't as I feel fake and constantly afraid of the future.

[Ladybug9]

Don't look for an escape from your darkness. Learn to love yourself right where you are! You deserve to love yourself. It takes work, but I know you can find your way.

[Daesin]

Words are very powerful magic. if you continue to say negative things about yourself you will eventually believe them. So every time you start feel down about yourself you need to audibly, out loud say 3 positive things about yourself. It's going to feel very awkward. And they can be very simple things as in I wore matching socks today. I arrived on time for class today or I didn't punch that idiot in the face today. Praise yourself for your positive strengths and attributes. Even if they are small. When you catch yourself saying or thinking negative things stop and immediately say three positive things out loud.

When you hear that voice saying nice things about yourself, honest and positive things about yourself it works magic on you and builds your spirit. Just make sure you're true to yourself. Start making some magic.

[Lixus]

I totally understand you, I really do, I felt the same way years ago and I'm still working on it but I think I can give you some advice:

I have obsessive-intrusive thoughts all the time, with social anxiety and phobias I'm very shy and I always waited people to talk to me and told me a plan to do about where to go when I hang out with friends and that stuff, everytime I talked, everytime I did something I always have my mind saying me things like "they are getting upset with you", "you are very annoying", "just shut up, no one wanna talk to you or know your opinion" but the thing is that this thoughts will never end for me and I'll always have anxiety so:

How to love yourself? Well that's a difficult question because is different depending on the person and I only realize that I love myself when I actually make it:

1. It will take time, months, or maybe years but it won't happen from one day to another so you have to be ok with this point to make progress.

2. Take some time even days if u need it to talk with yourself, make yourself questions, things you don't like about yourself, things you wanna get or win in life, things you wanna achieve, things you didn't like about yourself but you're ok with them now, etc. And make a list (you can write it or make it on your mind) and put on one side "things you don't like about yourself but you can change them" (eating healthy for example) and you start working on them taking one by one (you don't change to the second one if you haven't work and improve on your first one so make sure you put some order on the list)

On the other side you put things you didn't like about yourself but now you're ok with them and you take some time everyday or at least every week to ask yourself "am I really ok with them? Can I live with them anyday without a problem?" if the answer is yes it's great and if the answer is no, you move them from the "things I don't like but I can change" or to the next part:

3. You make a 3rd part of the list for "things you don't like about yourself and you can't change them" (for me for example it would be my social anxiety)

And you take some time every day or week to ask and talk with yourself (or with a friend or family if u want to) "I can't change them but, can I learn to deal with them? Can I learn from them?" now you have to ask for help for this things, whatever is from a therapist, a friend, family... Or both, you can't love yourself if you don't get help and try to live with your problems, I can't live without my anxiety but I've learnt to live with it, I'm still having problems but at least I can say and do somethings I couldn't do in the past because of my worries and anxieties.

To love yourself is to accept 100% that you have problems (like everyone in this world) and you don't know how to deal with them or you have problems dealing with them, to love yourself is to accept that sometimes you need to take some time for yourself and to search for help if you need it, in order to became a better person.

Sorry if the answer is too long, I tryed to make it as clear as possible, hope you understand it and I could help you with your question, PM me if u want to talk of you need it or have any questions