I need to learn to love myself, be empowered, be okay to be alone, but I don’t know how. I’ve hated myself for so long I don’t know what it even feels like to not be hard on myself or to “love” myself.
Any suggestions, ideas, or things that help you?
Well I would ask yourself why you hate yourself so much? Make a list and work through it. Are you a serial killer? Do you cheat other people? Do you steal? If you don't do any of those then you are not a bad person. I think 'hating' yourself becomes a habit and one which is hard to break.
One way is to make friends with that little negative voice in your head and pretend they are your best friend. Learn to treat yourself how you would treat a good friend. x
I think I hate myself the most because of my anxiety.
So are you saying your anxiety is your fault? Do you think it is somehow related to a weakness in you? I assure you it isn't. Would you hate yourself if you had a physical problem too and blame yourself? Well this is exactly the same. x
I just feel broken because the people around me aren’t suffering like I am. And I’m just tired of suffering. I just want to be healed more than anything. I’m hurting all the time and I just want a break. I don’t want to die I want more than anything to live a long life with my husband. But I just need this pain to stop.
How do you know people around you aren't suffering? Everyone has problems you know and yours happens to be anxiety. It is still no reason to hate yourself though.
I don't know whether you are getting medical help but if not perhaps you should? x
Yes I am. I’m on medicine and I see a therapist.
I just want this pain to stop. It feels like it will never end. Idk if you’ve felt that way before but it’s just exhausting. I don’t want to be depressed or panicking. I want to be my old self. The fun and crazy person I know.
Well if you are still feeling so bad maybe your meds need upping or you need a change? I am sure therapy is helping you but it can be a slow process and make you feel worse at times because you are dealing with painful feelings.
Don't put pressure on yourself to love yourself, just learn to tolerate yourself at first. Take the 'hate' out of the equation as a first step and replace it with praise because you are trying to hard to get better and it's not easy, so you are being both brave and strong. Don't under estimate your own achievements. x
I’ve been told twice now that I’m basically doing it to myself because I don’t stop the bad thoughts when they come in. Or stop the feelings when I’m about to panic.
It’s hard to do anything when those feelings/thoughts come. I feel crippled.
Do things you enjoy or once enjoyed. I’ve gotten back into reading and joined a softball team. My next goal is to get back to the gym. I can see how taking care of myself heals the mind. What are some things you like to do?
🌸 hi. I know what u mean. I think we feel like this because we are used to having negative thoughts more than positive ones. it's weird how the negative ones are more frequent. I try remind myself of the good things I have in my live which can lift my thoughts to more positive ones and then when I'm in this better mind set try look at myself and find at least one thing good about myself? dnt know if that helped 🌸
Thank all of your for taking your time out to comment. I will try a lot of these things.
Hi, Blue! I know the feeling. I didn't know what to do about it until I was, a) diagnosed with ADHD at age 60 (as well as several other mental conditions) and, b) realized there was real help available. I don't know if you grew up in a dysfunctional home or not, but I did & someone suggested the program "Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families" or ACOA. It was an incredible relief to know that w
I was not alone & I'm not the only one who had horribly dysfunctional parents who had no clue what they were doing, much less doing to my sister & I.
I don't so much blame them as feel bad that they didn't have a clue & probably did the best they could with what they knew.
What I do know is that the depression and self-esteem issues and even my severe ADHD can be attributed to my childhood environment & family of origin. I was raised with enough negativity that I had zip for self-esteem & literally didn't know how to "do Life" in almost every area of it.
I seriously didn't know how to clean, organizea cupboard, do laundry properly or wipe my ass!
I'm a long way from fixed but I am oh so much better than when I began this from hitting a bottom and seeking help from every resource available!
Whether you check it out or not, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I knew the problems. All that's left is the application of the solutions to my life.
God bless you and I hope you also find the solutions to what ails you.
Big Hugs, Sweetheart! You are awesome for reaching out!
Peace. Colleen
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