Advice on depression - first time diagnosis

[msneverending]

Hello everyone, I've been on this site for a couple of years, but been mostly visiting other forums. I am posting this to seek some advice regarding depression medication.

I have been recently diagnosed with depression, arising out of an abusive marriage of 17 years, marked by emotional abuse and manipulation, punctuated by physical abuse by a narcissistic partner. I realized several months ago after some questioning by my sister that I have been living in a fog, that I had accepted his behaviour as normal, lowering the bar with every new incident, and I have become...well, not the person I used to be.

After starting to go to counselling, I have been diagnosed with depression, marked by lethargy, inability to concentrate, frequent anxiety attacks, oversleeping, and general low emotions. I have been prescribed 20 mg fluoxetine (Prozac, though it goes as Prodep here) for 4 weeks and Frisium 10 mg for two weeks. I'm also taking medication for hypothyroidism (diagnosed 25 years ago) and Vitamin D deficiency.

Discussions relating to depression and anxiety are not really discussed in my country (social stigma, lack of understanding) - we have very few qualified therapists and psychiatrists. Even the doctors I am seeing now, I am seeing with my husband, and I don't think they fully appreciate the situation. They have jumped to the conclusion that my depression is arising from the fact my marriage is in trouble, whereas in fact, I have finally made the decision to walk away - my depression is from the effect of his behaviour and the realization of how much he has destroyed of me. I have also been diagnosed as infertile and they have wrongly assumed that it also affecting me but I have made peace with that several years ago.

I hate to take this up with my family - they are very supportive but they worry a lot and I don't think I could discuss this with them objectively. Our society is such women try to manage as best as they can and they think they shouldn't fuss over emotional or physical pain so accepting I need help has been a big and hard step.

My main concern right now is lack of information about the medications. I would really appreciate if I could get some advice on these drugs, what to expect, how to deal with the side effects...anything that you could share from experience. Worrying about the medication is becoming an additional source of anxiety and I would really appreciate your help.

I am sorry for the long post, and I realize I'm jumping everywhere but I have no-one really I can talk to on this.

Thank you

[Haley7]

msneverending,

Unfortunately I am not familiar with those particular drugs but I can tell you it’s a process of trial and error to find which one/combination will work for you.

I have been on a lot. The span of time: about 20 years. I also have high anxiety and take meds for that. I have had some that were not a fit for me and had to go off and try again.

A few general words of advice. Research the meds to see if they should be taken together (your Dr should know, but there’s been cases with bad outcomes, because there are good and bad Drs. as you know).

If you find that it’s making things worse (physically or mentally), check with your Dr to see if it is one you need to ween off of. Stopping cold turkey can be really bad to get through, even though that’s the instinctive thing to do.

You may take some time to find the right one/combination. Its definitely a process, so try not to get discouraged. Push through.

It will be worth it. Also realize in time you may need something different. It’s such a process, and as you said; raises more anxiety.

You seem very strong and at peace with a lot of things. That’s great.

I just want to say that I am so happy you finally realized it’s time to move on. Getting through the process to get out is tough, but it will soon be a memory and you’ll be well on your way to freedom and a brighter future.

Best of luck

[msneverending in reply to Haley7]

Dear Haley7,

Thank you so much for your reply. I get from your post that it will probably be a long journey but hopefully a good one, and at least a learning one. I hadn't realized how much of a fog I've been in and how much I'd suppressed mentally till my sister got me back home. It's been painful confronting everything I had been hiding, from them and from myself, but at least I'm beginning to realize I deserved more.

Thanks again.

[ACC64]

HI there. I have had two periods where I have taken fluoxetine for extended periods for rather severe clinical depression. I found it really helped lift my general mood after a week or so -and stopped me fretting over concerns endlessly. It helped give me more focus to daily stuff I had started to let slip.

I know from talking to others that it doesn’t suit everyone. My major piece of advice with this drug is that for the first few days it can make you feel even worse than you were, and stuff can seem even bleaker – so make sure you have a friend or two whom you trust and ask them to call daily to make sure you are ok. After about a week or so you will start to feel a little more positive. But it can take 2-3 weeks to really start to kick in. If you don’t feel benefits after that then see your prescriber.

Also recognise that you may need to be on it for about a year or so – you have in some ways to learn to respect it for helping you. The other VERY important thing is to wean yourself off it very slowly when the time comes, however long you have been on it – don’t just stop. Also, it’s a good idea to take it at a regular time – I always take it after breakfast.

I'm on it at the moment (for about a year), its really helping. The previous time was about 8 years ago and I was on it for 2 years. I consciously took three months to gradually come off it.

The following website is helpful - if a little scientific.

medicines.org.uk/emc

Best of luck!

[msneverending in reply to ACC64]

Thank you very much for your reply - it helped a lot. My main worry was that knowing me, if the medication didn't kick in quickly or it made me feel worse at the beginning, I would become even more morose and helpless. Thank you for sharing your experience with the progress of the medication.

[pink318]

Hi- I can relate to you when you say that depression and anxiety are not discussed in your country. It’s the same in my country that’s why when one of my sisters was diagnosed with anxiety she refused medications. It was hard for me to see my sister struggling with anxiety. She was sad and most of the time teary-eyed. I prayed for her and always sent her messages. I talked to her about anything just to let her know that she’s not alone. Me and my other sisters are her support group.

I thank God that her mood is now improving. She used to be really lonely and isolated herself but now she’s involving herself in conversation. She has a life group that she attends one a week online and it’s a big help.

I’m sorry I am not familiar with those drugs but I hope you will find comfort here. Remember that you are not alone. Keep sharing, we are here for each other. Praying for you that God’s peace and strength to be upon you. Take care.

[msneverending in reply to pink318]

Dear pink318,

Thank you so much for your reply and wishes. Your sister is very lucky to have a close family like yours. I also have two older sisters - they have always been very protective of me, and I know it was very hard for them when I finally broke down and spoke about the abuse. Until then, they had no suspicion since it wasn't visible.

Unfortunately, I still find it difficult to talk with them very much because I know it worries them and they hate feeling helpless. I find it easier to express myself in forums like this, with people who can share their experiences and be honest about the journey and encouraging about the obstacles.

Thank you again!

[pink318 in reply to msneverending]

Hello- It's good to hear from you. Thank you for the update

Feel free to post here anytime. I understand, sometimes it's easier for us to talk to the forum than to our family and friends. When I went through empty nest syndrome, I found comfort after I posted in one of the online support groups.

I love my sister so much and I want to see her well. I'm glad that her mood is now improving by the grace of God.

Please stay in the forum, we are here for each other. I pray that things will get better for you each day. Take care.

[blueorganic1021]

Hello msneverending!

I was very nervous to try Fluoxetine in the beginning because I had experienced a variety of negative symptoms from other similar medications in the past however, I am so glad a gave it a try! I started out with the 20 mg and on the first few days it made me feel very tired and yawning constantly, but by the next week my body had adjusted and I literally felt like a brand new human! I had felt so bad for so long that I had forgotten what it was even like to feel good, and it was amazing! Over time, my doctor and I decided to increase the meds to see if it could possibly help even more, and it did! I am now taking one 20 mg capsule and one 40 mg capsule each day for a total of 60 mg per day. I’ve been taking it now for at least 4 or 5 years and it has been a total game changer for me personally and all the other ones I had tried previously had just been awful for me so I am so thankful for having Fluoxetine and don’t know what I would do without it! The only problems I have ever faced with it is there were a few occasions when I accidentally ran out and couldn’t get them refilled quickly enough or the pharmacy was out and I had to wait a day or two to get them. For me, the first day I had to go without them I didn’t really notice much, but by the second or third day, I felt absolutely horrible just like I did before I started taking them, and that was no fun at all to go happiness wise from 10 back down to 2 in just a couple of days. Definitely not recommended for sure! As soon as I was able to get the meds and continue with my medication routine, within two to three days I immediately felt better again. Although going through that experience was no walk in the park, I’m actually grateful in a way that it happened because it reinforced the fact that I actually do need this medication and that it really does have a huge positive impact on me and within my everyday life. I hope this information can help you in some way, or maybe to at least ease your worries enough to give the medication a chance to see if it can also make a positive impact in your life as well. Good luck to you. Wishing you great happiness!

[msneverending]

Hello blueorganic!

Thank you very much for the detailed reply and I'm glad to hear fluoxetine has been successful for you. Your detailed steps have helped me get an idea what to look for. The fatigue and yawning I have already started experiencing - if it wasn't for the fact that my thyroid levels are back to normal, I would have blamed it on that.

I think I'm responding a little slower to the medications but I have noted that I don't get anxiety attacks as often as I used to for small things. Usually, if something went wrong, even something small, I would start feeling short of breath, become very low immediately, and start envisaging all the worst-case scenarios possible. It would paralyze me and I would either do everything to avoid thinking about it or think too much about it. For the last few years of my marriage in particular, I have always been tense, walking on eggshells, imagining and planning for worst case scenarios, and without even realizing, it has carried over to my every day work. For the past four months, I have been at my parents' house, after my sister, who's a doctor, brought me back; she was worried because there had been so much news about domestic abuse escalating during the lockdowns. I think this has given me a chance to better understand what had been happening to me.

Now, I've started making a habit of trying to stop all my thoughts racing, taking deep breaths and trying to put the whole situation into perspective. It's not successful every time, but it is better. I know it will take time, but I'm determined that this time, I will understand that slow does not mean failure.

Thank you again for taking the time to write such a detailed answer.