Parenting: part 3

[Starbrush]

I don’t know at this point but in my previous posts I talked about my parents being toxic and how even though I’m 18 I’m still dependent on them and that it was taking a toll on me. Today, while on a video call with a friend my mom walked in and freaked out. I shut the call off immediately to avoid her getting angrier but instead she proceeded to grab a towel and whack me with it. It didn’t really hurt that much. She then proceeded to run to my dad calling me a “slut”. To which I walked downstairs to try and clear up the situation. My dad got angry at me for trying to explain and moved to hit me, I tried to block the hit but I fell onto the bed and he pinned me down and held all his weight on my shoulder. It hurt and I couldn’t really breathe that well so I tried to struggle free to breathe better but that only made him push down with more force. I’ve had much more painful disciplinary experiences so I’m not really all that shaken by it but when I told my friend what happened they were shocked? It isn’t leaving any bruises, just a few red marks around my wrists and knees? They told me that was abusive but? Is it? I mean it’s not like they beat me to a pulp. I don’t know. I always thought this was normal?

[Natsteveo]

Not in anyway shape or form is this normal

This is abusive behaviour and you don't deserve any of this

As for your dad pining you down this is outrageous my friend this is terrible behaviour its sounds lime its not the first time this has happened to you 😔

Don't put up with this anymore its not right

[Starbrush in reply to Natsteveo]

I’m really not sure at this point. I could feel they were holding back. I’ve dealt with them in much worse situations. I also don’t feel like I have the right to complain because it could be so much worse. They still pay for part of my tuition.. idk

[Natsteveo in reply to Starbrush]

thats understandable parents don't always have it easy but under no circumstances have they got any right to put there hands on you

I was physically abused by my father and eventually it almost killed me mentally I only have GAD because I had a mental breakdown through all the abuse I suffered

I know it sounds silly and probably impossible

Have you tried to tell them how you feel and how they make you feel

Nat xx

[Starbrush in reply to Natsteveo]

Any time I try to explain how I feel I get the “you’re over dramatic, stop being so sensitive.” “No one will want to be around you if you can’t manage your emotions” or I get my mother victimizing herself and telling me “you don’t love me, you want me dead!” (Never said either of those things)

[Yanshiva]

U can't fiond a job and just move on from ur house ??

[Starbrush in reply to Yanshiva]

It’s a little bit more complicated than that. My parents are making it very hard to. I also don’t know where I can get a job that’ll pay for my tuition. I’m freshly 18 (just a week ago). I can not afford losing financial support now, especially since I can’t rely on commissions nor my babysitting.

[hypercat54]

This is abuse clear and simple. It's surprisingly common but certainly not normal. I don't know what country you are in but there might be help out there so you can move out and still continue your studies. Speak to your school counsellor.

[metalminded]

Although I know it’s a scary thought but have you considered talking to child protective services?

How old is your brother and do your parents treat him the same way?

No one deserves the abuse you’ve been taking.

I hope you can find help!!

[Starbrush in reply to metalminded]

My brother is 7 years older than me, from what I know, CPS doesn’t step in at my age in my country. Fortunately any physical things haven’t occurred to him since the disciplinary slap when he was 9? He’s gotten a lot more freedom than I ever did. My mom definitely prefers him over me and makes that known. That being said I remember that a lot of the yelling and belittling has occurred to both of us... but I think because I have always been controlled, and been limited to any space from them I get a lot more of the belittlement and unpleasant actions (not allowed to be out past 5 or not allowed to be outside for longer than a couple minutes, while my brother would come and go at 2 sometimes even 3 am back in highschool).

[metalminded]

Does your brother live with your parents as well?

Does he work? Maybe you two could move out and you could get financing help for school?