What helps you?

[Novalo89]

Hi there. this is my first time here. I am not sure what I am really doing..

I met this guy a few years ago and fell in love instantly. I spent everyday with him since I met him, we ended up moving in together and dating for almost 2 years. things went down hill and I started feeling like I was constantly a problem, I was too ditsy and not smart enough, and I was gaining weight and I ate so much and all this crap. He made me feel gross and stupid but I still did every single thing and I was somehow still head over hills for this guy. I started lying to my family and friends to make him seem better. Then one day he came home after ditching me on a camping trip and in the middle of a fight I asked if he wanted me around anymore, he didn't say anything so I packed all my crap up and left with my dog to my friends couch. I felt like somebody forced my out of my home and shut me out. It hurt so bad, I didn't even get a chance to try to fix things.

6 months later he wants me back and hes so sorry and he wants to get married. I would have married him on the spot. Like 2 weeks of this go on and hes starts blowing me off again and then dumps me. Says he just wants to be friends. so hes breaks up with me and starts dating some other girl. anyways its been over a year and I feel like I'm just going in circles with my emotions and everything that follows. Ive moved 6 times since the break up somehow and now my dog is getting upset with me. I finally got my own place for me and my baby and now he hates my house. He doesn't want to come inside ever. I don't know what happened. Also turns out my ex just broke up with his girlfriend and he live across the frikin street from me. I don't want to be here but I am tired of moving, and so is my dog. I just hate it. Every time I see him I go through this little fantasy in my head if how good things could be. Is it possible for people to change that much? he was very manipulative and controlling but people can change and mature right? People keep telling me to just give it time. HOW MUCH TIME. I'm tired of not being able to go into the grocery store alone. I cant do anything alone anymore. Its like a panic attack every time. I cant go to my favorite places or drink my favorite coffee anymore without getting sick and I live in a small town. I am angry at everything all the time, I gave him everything I had.

I am sorry this is so long..

[Hidden]

You sound stuck in an unhealthy cycle. How about space & boundaries . Establish and strengthen yourself!

[hypercat54]

Hi this gives it away

'Is it possible for people to change that much? he was very manipulative and controlling but people can change and mature right'?

In my experience people don't change, unless they admit they have a problem and work on it through therapy. Is he in denial or is he going through therapy? Ok I get that the good times are great, but over time the bad times will get more frequent, and more extreme.

Tread very carefully.