Would anybody like to check in on each other?

[SongAndSoul]

I’ll be honest, I feel overwhelmed by this site as well as inadequate.

I am an empathic person and there are simply too many people hurting and truly suffering.

I feel inadequate to answer everybody and when I do, I feel inadequate in my response.

I shared this with a “TEXT only” friend who lives in another Country.

This is what she wrote:

//I know you’ve said that the forum is draining, but maybe this is the time to simply reach out and “receive” from them and not worry about reciprocating. There will be a time to “give” to them again when you’re stronger. They may be able to encourage you and offer practical ideas to help you through this... Love you lots ! 🌺❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻//

I just find myself overwhelmed.

I’m an introvert but I am extremely lonely and depressed.

I left a toxic relationship just 6-weeks ago and now I live alone.

What I need is for COVID to be behind us so that I can find peer-to-peer support and slowly make a friend or two.

That is not possible right now.

Can anybody relate?

Edit to Add: Everyone is a shining star here.

I DO APPRECIATE your kind words and advice.

[Hidden]

I think your "text only" friend has some very wise advice. I know its challenging. We all want to help each other especially when you see people in desperate and heartbreaking situations. Sometimes all we can do is just try to relate with them and encourage them because we are in a similar situation. You are not going to heal everybody here. Its impossible and you will get burned out fast.

[HelpingElbow]

Hi SongAndSoul

Believe me when I say that I can completely relate to how you feel. In addition to that, you should believe your friend even more! She is absolutely right when she says that it's not always necessary for you to be the 'giver'.

Sometimes, when our own mental frame is strong, we are in the right zone to assist others. However, at times when things go awry, we indeed require some compassionate support or else we will break down sooner than we imagine.

Talking about the feeling of inadequacy while helping others, I feel the same way. No matter how much I write (whether a short answer or an in-depth answer), I always feel that I haven't done enough for the other person.

Do you want to know what's worse than that? It's the fear that an answer might aggravate the problem rather than alleviating it.

And yes, most of us are introverts! Believe me, you're not alone in this. You don't have to feel isolated. We all want Covid to be gone. Either way, it should be eradicated because we don't want the same suffering for our future generation.

Till that time, please stay strong and determined. Once again, there's no need to feel lonely or depressed. We are all in this together! This community is indeed helpful and supportive. Moreover, please make sure that you never suppress your emotions. At any point of time if you feel like venting out or maybe expressing yourself, feel free to ping me.

My doors are always open!

[SongAndSoul in reply to HelpingElbow]

Thank you! I vented last night, but someone well-meaning poster who mostly posts elsewhere, decided to tell me “everyone is suffering and to do Yoga.”

I feel selfish talking about my problems.

I even wrote “ thank you for letting me vent.”

I’m not a black and white person, but a lot of therapists try to teach you how to see the “good” too.

I’m well aware of the good and grateful for it, but I need to get my feelings out.

[HelpingElbow in reply to SongAndSoul]

You are absolutely right! There are times, when people unknowingly act as doctors or therapists. And yes, it doesn't help.

I mean, we all know about yoga. Who doesn't? Sometimes, people don't understand that there's a deeper story.

You don't have to feel selfish talking about your problems.

[Hidden in reply to SongAndSoul]

Wow if only it were that easy that we all could just do yoga and our problems will be solved lol. What about the people who are depressed/anxious due to thyroid disease or celiac disease. People always assume that there mental health starts in their head and I used to be one of those people. Yoga will not correct a seretonin deficiency due to an intestinal disease that affects your absorption of nutrients. Not to mention that many vitamin deficiencies can cause depression/anxiety. Yoga will not improve your gut health if you dont address the underlying issue. Hippocrates, the father of medicine stated that health starts in the gut. It's just the same with mental health. Sorry for the rant, I just get fired up when I hear someone say something like"do yoga" and your problems will be solved. Sorry you had to deal with that.

[SongAndSoul in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much for your support!!

[Hidden in reply to SongAndSoul]

Glad I could help you and your and puppy🙂

[SongAndSoul in reply to Hidden]

😊 I live with my 2 beloved fur-babies.

I have a Chihuahua and a Tabby cat.

I am so thankful to be living drama free but now it’s so lonely.

I also list my black cat just a week before I moved out, so I’m grieving.

[Hidden in reply to SongAndSoul]

Sorry about your cat. I've got no dog,cat,turtle,hamster, or girlfriend😥.

[SongAndSoul in reply to Hidden]

Oh noes.....why not?

I just said to my Mom yesterday “I don’t know how people get through this without pets.”

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm going to write a blues album. My turtle left me. Cuz he dont love me. Nobody loves me but my mama but she could be lying too, I got the lonely lonesome blueees

[SongAndSoul in reply to Hidden]

lulz.......can you pull off Elvis swag?

[Hidden in reply to SongAndSoul]

Elvis wishes he had half of my swag lol...I'm more like a george jones... I just sing my heart out lol

[SongAndSoul in reply to Hidden]

Sing, baby...SING!

[Hidden in reply to SongAndSoul]

If only I had the voice lol....I will put my heart and soul into it though

[Hidden in reply to SongAndSoul]

I'll be happy to listen anytime. I'm overwhelmed completely and very nerved up. I live in the middle of nowhere..well somewhere..but people are few and far between...

[spiral25]

Your friend gives good advice. You can't always be the strong one, everyone needs help. I just discovered this place while going thru an awful anxiety episode and I'm so glad I did. I hope I can help others as much as everyone has helped me.

[Hidden]

Hi, this site overwhelms me too. I think so many people need help that they are just not getting. Feel free to send me a personal message if you want to.

[SongAndSoul in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I will! 😊

[hypercat54]

I agree totally with your friend. Sometimes we just have to take and not give. Don't forget that like all of us you are here for your own issues too.

I find it helps me to help others but when it starts being a drain I back away. I expect like many of us you are a bit of a people pleaser.

[SongAndSoul in reply to hypercat54]

Yes, I am a “people pleaser.”

My friend is too.

We are also both HSP “Highly Sensitive Person” and that’s why she likes to TEXT.

She’s even more sensitive to stimuli than I am.

[hypercat54 in reply to SongAndSoul]

Maybe you need to work on the people pleasing bit? From my own experience it comes down to a lack of self worth and low esteem.

[SongAndSoul in reply to hypercat54]

Definitely working on it.

I stood up for myself in my last relationship and left him 7 weeks ago.

[hypercat54 in reply to SongAndSoul]

Good for you.

[kenster1]

hi I said this before a simple hello is better than nothing we don`t have the migic pill or wand but we do our best to understand from our own perspective.its not nice to suffer even worse to suffer alone and any words of comfort we offer are better than none at all.

[SongAndSoul in reply to kenster1]

I agree! That’s very true.

[TailWags]

Hi, i see we have some things in common

I am 57, female and have a dog. I havnt had a significant other in many years. Suprises me to think how long. Guess guys just dont like me or whatever. I remember how hard it was when a significant relationship ended.

Anyhow, i normally live alone except a neighbor moved in temporarily which turned in to 6 years i think. She moved out last october. When my dad died in april, mom was recouperating and moved in in may.

Anyhow, i am also very empathetic. I think that can really be hard as i feel other peoples pain. I dislike holocaust movies, wars, disease and unfairness. It makes me very uncomfortable. Since there is so much around these days, it can be very difficult.

We are all inadequate in some area, whether we realize it or not. No one is perfect but some people think they are.

I do not believe that some people are more human or more valuable than others. Some people help others and some people are only in it for themselves. I believe people start out deserving respect but some people do things to lose it.

I have a job and have been working from home for about 5 months. It got pretty lonely for a while. I never saw other people or went anywhere. Seemed everyone else had a spouse, kids, whatever.

You must be bored silly by now. Just wanted to give you an over view so you could know who you are talking to.

Take care. You are valuable.

[SongAndSoul in reply to TailWags]

I was not bored silly.

I appreciate your taking the time to write.

We do have much in common. Before my last relationship, I went 10 years as a Single.

It sounds like you might be an HSP. Have you heard of the book “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aaron?

If you are interested, search YouTube for a 3-minute video. It helped a friend of mine a lot.