Sorry, I'm new here. Looking for some help and I think connecting like on this site is great but that is, at the same time, the problem, people don't connect for real anymore. Solutions like this connect people but keep them isolated at the same time. I am looking for a group in Phoenix, AZ, where to be with people that fight the same challenges. I see lots of support groups organized by professional persons but I have the feeling (or maybe even conviction) that those groups are for them to find more patients for their businesses. After dealing with psychologists and psychiatrists for quite a while I realize that what they do best is to collect money and not small amounts. Don't get me wrong, when you have to have professional support definitely do it. In my situation though I see myself not being able to break free and I'm just looking for a different solution. Anybody knows any actual peer to peer group in Phoenix AZ.
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sorry i don’t know a lot about phoenix, but i do see your point about face to face being different than what we have here ( even though it does help a lot) i wish i had more people around me that understand these problems i have.. have you been to this site before? ( this is my first time around on one of these lol )
No, like I said, just signed in. Or should I say signed up? English is my second language and sometimes I just get lost in all these in and up and over things.
oh i could see that being confusing sometimes.. if you’re looking for support, this website does do very well. there are many kind people that will offer help and advice here
Help and advice through this, or another, website is better than nothing but not too much more than nothing. Humans need to connect in person. Just sitting in a group and not saying anything is much better than 1,000 words on a web site. I think.
you are right i’m sorry its not perfect,but at the moment im having trouble finding anything/ anyone else to see in person, so like you said better than nothing at all.. i talked to a random guy at the store for about two and a half minutes a couple days ago and realized it was the longest conversation id had in weeks.. so i know how you feel :/
Darn! Isn't that awkward? This planet is overpopulated and getting more crowded every minute, and we cannot find anyone to see in person. Darn! Darn! Darn! What's going on?
i dont know but it sucks.. im back living with my parents so i guess im not fully alone i see them when theyre off work... but its not the same as having freinds lol
Hey, you say! That's interesting, cause the reason I'm looking for support is for my daughter who lives with me like you live with your parents. So yea, I'm the parent, and though I am coping with my own psychological challenges I found my balance and kind of don't care anymore for me but my daughter is always on my mind. I wish her to take off and be on her own and be, if not happy (happiness is a big word) at least at peace with life and self sustaining. But that doesn't happen and right now she's really down, being in her room for few days, not even coming out. I need peers in my town and no one answers.
oh i see. that is a pretty interesting coincidence lol sometimes it helps to have something to look forward too like maybe if you can, ask if she wants to go out for lunch somewhere on the weekend? honestly my parents offered today and i didnt go, but sometimes i will and i feel a little better getting out of the house and seeing some new faces... im still stuggling reconnecting or finding friends but its nice to get out of the house if you can get her to
I know, you are right. I just sent her a text message (though she is just few feet away behind her room's door). Hope she will want to get out.
yeah gotta start small, she might think youre trying to be her friend (and its okay to want that eventually, as long as you keep that parental mindset) and get a little offstandish at first, but shes gotta work on getting out of the house and having some interaction
OK. You be good to your parents too, OK? Don't forget that we, parents, have been kids to our parents not that long ago and our parents were trying to do their best for us and we wanted to keep the away too. Don't be too tough on them. They need your affection just as much as you need theirs.
i’m kinder these days, sometimes i still say or do things that arent as kind as they deserve, but mostly i do pretty good, but i remember being up in my room just like that though, i was meaner then( my therapist said this happens often with young adults and teens that are depressed or have anxiety) i hope you see that a lot of times its not your fault it could be just what shes going through at the time. sometimes id yell at them just cause they hit a nerve and i was already in my room all day sad over that same thing or something similar( i feel bad about those days)..hopefully she decides to go to lunch or something
if not, then maybe next weekend
I would never have guessed. You speak/write very well indeed.
You can try here: nami.org/Local-NAMI?state=AZ
That isolation is what gives you the freedom to speak. It works with a professional because they have a code of conduct and it works on a forum because of the anonymity .They both serve a purpose and you are lucky if you find one or both that suit you .? It is not an easy task to find a trustworthily person and I am reluctant to share my private thoughts to just anyone. Pam
thats very true as well. But those are two different things, a safe place to speak whether it be online or with a therpist, and straight up human interaction, no i dont want to tell everyone about these problems but i havent had a friend for a few years and it’s definitely an impact on my mental health.
We do need friends and in a face to face situation. I would love to have you over for tea , but alas that won't happen You can come to one of my pretend teas. Pam
thats very kind of you id love to come lol.. just know you made me smile with that one and it was very much appreciated
That is the weird nature of human psychology. We like others to open to us but we are reluctant to open to others. I remember my childhood friends (yes, I had friends when I was a child - "Yesterday love was such an easy game to play, now I need a place to hide away", that sounds so right now) I always appreciated and felt closer to those who were open about their weaknesses. Why do we always try to be better than others, why we cannot just feel good being less smart, shorter, fatter, weaker, slower, why do we always feel threatened by being behind? That is why we don't open, because that will put us in that place farther away form the leader of the pack. I want to belong to a group where we make good fun of our issues and wear shirts with large inscriptions on them saying "we suck!"
I appreciate what you are saying. I think we are talking at cross purposes. What I mean to say is A therapist will protect your feelings and people in your social group don't always. I have been hurt to many times when confiding to someone and they just had to feel the importance of sharing what they found out. I am a very open and trusting person who has had to learn not everyone can be trusted.I am not pretending to be something I'm not, but there are things in my life that not everyone needs to know. When I shared with a friend that my husband had been unfaithful to me I didn't expect her to pass the information on.Obviously I am not the smartest person, but I eventually learn my lessons. . I do feel protected here and accepted and that gives me the freedom to speak. Pam
The problem with the therapists is that they are needed, in order to see some results, for way much more than one (mere mortal) can afford to pay them. They may work for whimsical people who have exhausted all possibilities to spend their vast amounts of money and now want to try this, sometimes because is chic and because they are so crushed by the weight of their wealth. Yes, I don't like them, wealthy people, that much. I hope I don't hurt anybody, unless one is one of those ultra-rich, in which case I can care less. You may see some fury and frustration in my words, because it is there. I have spent too much money, out of the too little that I have, on them psy-whatever and find myself still crushed by the same problems that had me started looking for their help many-many years ago. If they help you, good for you. From where I am I see them just money sucking machines and even pretentious ones. My daughter is in the other room, behind her closed door, and I haven't seen her, I guess is 3 days now. I guess she's only coming out when I go to sleep. Do you see my point. And she was "helped" by quite a number of psy-persons along the years.
yeah she seems very withdrawn, i hope you can find some common ground with her, and hopefully spend some time together.. does she go out to friends ever or is that just the way its been for a while?
She was going to some support group for a while but tried to get closer to one of the guys there and after few weeks the relation went South. I guess that crushed her, I saw that reaction growing in her until this point where she seems to not even come out of her room.
Oh thats tough. i could see why shes not doing well. im sorry times are tough right now. i really hope she starts doing better soon. if i can think of something to help i’ll definitely suggest it
You sound so angry and of course you have a right to your own feelings. I wonder if your daughter feels you are angry with her. It is interesting what jumps out at you when you read another's post. That has been very helpful to me when someone points out a behavior I haven't noticed. I haven't always seen a therapist and sometimes I've had to get through on my own. I hope things start to turn around for you. Pam
I am not angry with her. I learned over the years that being angry does not help. Unfortunately my reactions won't change anything, whatever my reactions are.
I still have trouble trusting people i know with the knowledge of my illness.. I remember telling a family member when i was first diagnosed with mental illness, a cousin I grew up with and trusted not to spread rumors that i’m crazy or something ( i was orginally misdiagnosed as bi-polar due to the emergeny room doctors assumption/uneducation that an episode of chemically induced psychosis was the same as mania) Ever since then they treat me as though i’m some kind of psychopath ( even though i can see they have very apparent illnesses of their own, pretty positive one of them is schizophrenic, but will never be diagnosed) its a wonderful attitude to deal with when there is a family get together.. I was later rediagnosed by my psychiatrist with major depressive disorder and anxiety ( she was very good about helping me realize its an illness, and that im not crazy) None of my family (besides my parents and brother) even know its depression, after i told the one cousin i was diagnosed bi-polar they didnt care they just dont like me now... and even if i had been diagnosed correctly to begin with that attitude is so wrong it bothers me.
holy crap, i didn’t realize i wrote so much, sorry its so long.
People are so ignorant sometimes! It does make me feel like hiding because so many do not understand. I’m sure I’ll think of something positive to say but not today. Today I am just aggravated! I’m glad that here we have found some like-minded people who understand and don’t judge. Oops. There’s a positive. 😆
That is a good point, im very grateful to have found this place with like minded individuals.. I wish just a little more of society could be less ignorant when it comes to mental illness. It doesn't have to be everyone just a little bit less judgement and a little more understanding. but sadly i know its a wish that will probably never be granted. Like you said at least we’ve got this.
People are afraid of what they don't understand. That's not to excuse their abysmal behavior.
Agreed.
I can’t answer your question but I think I hear what you are saying. I wanted to find a “group” to attend where I live but after searching only found group therapy being offered for a charge. And not one I could afford. I think it would be helpful to start a group sort of like a book club for folks with mental health issues. One that was somewhat structured but not too structured. I hope you find something.
The book club thing is a cool idea.
Try looking in your local paper. I'm from Vermont (it's a tiny state) and we have one paper that generally runs for the entire region. That's where I find support groups and such. I haven't gone to any yet because they're in the city but once I move I plan on going. I understand how you feel. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone on this site could be in a giant In-person peer group at least once a year or so? I'd love that
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