Don’t know how I’ll deal with hard things to come.

[Thisgirl85]

Anyone else think too much about how you’ll deal with the hard things to come (death of parents, death of spouse, health crisis) and have convinced yourself you just won’t be able to do it? My mind goes to terrifying places when I think about these things and I’ve been stuck there the last few weeks. I’m currently taking Zoloft and am working with a therapist but am still struggling daily to just make it through the day.

[Smarticus]

One way of looking at it is that you cant avoid those things happening... the best thing to do is to accept the inevitable and plan for how you will cope with it. Ask what is the worst that could happen? Then plan for it. Try and remove the fear and anxiety, then put it to one side and get on with your life, dont let it consume you. HTH

[spiral25]

That's one of the thoughts that is always racing through my head with what's going on right now. I'm sorry you suffer from it, too. Even in my calmer moments my mind will go to something along those lines, almost like it's trying to get me back into panic mode.

[Thisgirl85 in reply to spiral25]

Thanks for sharing. I’m tired and scared of feeling this way. Has anything helped you?

[spiral25 in reply to Thisgirl85]

I've been listening to Dr Claire Weekes audio recordings on youtube. Also Therapy In A Nutshell, also on youtube. I've also found that when I start to feel my anxiety start up, I make myself get moving-cleaning, pacing, anything to get my adrenalin going.

I hope you can find something to help. It's awful feeling this way.

[Thisgirl85 in reply to spiral25]

Thank you so much for these great suggestions.

[spiral25 in reply to Thisgirl85]

You're welcome.

[Hidden]

Deal with those things when they come up and you will be fine and survive them.

[propjock]

Been through loss of both parents in the last 2 1/2 years. More losses to come—you named them, Thisgirl85. I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself and getting help. Your therapist is probably teaching you about catastrophising, including underestimating your ability to cope. You are stronger than you think. When it comes, a kind of shock sets in. You put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. My parents lived far away. The phone call comes, you buy a ticket and you get on the stupid airplane and do the best you can. If you have siblings or a spouse, you won’t be on your own. You’re building resilience into your life now, good for you, keep at it. “It wasn’t raining when Noah started building the ark.” And enjoy today. I still struggle with that. A turning point came when I heard a Cardinal singing. He was beautiful. And it hit me. Even if he never sings again, or I never hear him again, he is beautiful, right now, and it’s not fair to take that away from him. Enjoy your parents, and everything else good that isn’t eternal. (Enjoy the eternal stuff too!) I sure enjoyed my parents, as an adult child, and I have a lot of happy teary memories. I won’t say it doesn’t hurt, because it does, but billions of people have done it, with the help of each other, and with God’s help if we’ll ask.