I don’t know how to continue - Anxiety and Depre...

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I don’t know how to continue

legallystressed
legallystressed
32 Replies

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I am absolutely hopeless I’ve been fighting for so long and I can’t anymore. My career is an absolute shambles and stresses me out to the point that I’m immobile and can’t do anything but stare at the wall and imagine dying. I can’t function but I have no alternatives. I don’t think I can do this anymore. When I hear about someone dying now I don’t feel sad I feel jealous and Then I feel guilty for feeling like that

32 Replies
oldestnewest
Hidden
Hidden

I have a high stress job too, and never feel like I am doing it well. Feel like I will be fired at any moment, and I am the support for my whole family, so cant quit. One thing that helps is to make lists and prioritize. Just tackle one thing at a time. And to take some time each day for relaxing. I am so sorry you are in this same dark place as me. But u arent alone.

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positive223

Hello

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Is there anything else causing you stress apart from work. You sound like your under alot of pressure as you mention not having any alternatives. X

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legallystressed

It’s work but it consumes me and keep messing everything up. It’s not exactly a 9-5 type job. I work for myself and got fired by two clients this week

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positive223

Is there anyone who could share the workload with you to give you some breathing space ? maybe then you will be able to focus more you sound really overworked don't put so much pressure on youself. Have you spoke to your doctor about how you've been feeling I really think it would help

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legallystressed

Unfortunately not. But my dr does know

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positive223

It's hard work being self employed especially when your doing it alone things like loosing clients adds to the stress your doing your best what has the Dr suggested ?

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gogogirl

What kind of work do you do? It sounds stressful. I hope you also have hobbies or distractions that give you some peace.

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legallystressed

Divorce lawyer. I’m a diehard Mets fan but that’s pretty stressful too. My work pretty much consumes me

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gogogirl

Divorce lawyer wow- no wonder you're stressed! At any rate- I hope you can look into other options so that you can work with others. You obviously work very hard.

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legallystressed

Not hard enough😔

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BW33

So sorry. . I will be thinking about U. We r here for U!

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lynnalice

Is your career still fulfilling for you? Is this what you want to keep doing?

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legallystressed

I hate it but I have 200k in student loans from law school and it’s all I’ve ever done don’t think I have a choice

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lynnalice

If you could do something else, what would it be? If you hate your career choice, I think it makes sense that you feel depressed and trapped. You are trying to force yourself to do something that your inner being knows it doesn’t want to do.

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legallystressed

Anything? Teach probably

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lynnalice

Imagine yourself as a teacher... what feelings does that bring up for you? I resigned my position in healthcare administration a year ago, I was burned out and depressed, full of anxiety and insomnia. I sat down and after crying, wrote down the question “what have you wanted to do that you never have given yourself the chance to do yet?” The answer to that was to be a counselor. I am now back in school at 39, to be a counselor for drug and alcohol addiction.

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legallystressed

Peace

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to legallystressed

If you are a qualified lawyer, presumably there are numerous other options open to you? Having your own firm may not be the best option. I know it's hard to step away but maybe you should consider it. The main thing is, you do have choices. Please don't imagine you are trapped. My wife did work in private practice but she never regrets leaving it and my other lawyer friends don't exactly give private practice glowing reports. Lecturing at a college sounds like an interesting possibility. Take care,

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gogogirl
gogogirl
in reply to Hidden

Can't believe I posted something about a college also even before I saw your post!

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gogogirl

So, you're a lawyer? Wow! I am sure you've looked into this- but could you also teach law maybe even one day a week to help financially?

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Samson1953

pls pls don't give up. listen to everyone encouraging words. tomorrow really is a new day. I'm praying 4 you. you can do this e step at a time.

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DeniseFromNC

You are not alone. I’m in the same situation and everyone advices me to stay and hang in there. Well, I’ve made peace with myself and I’m going to do what’s best for me. With that being said, I’m resigning within a month (with or without a job). Once I committed to saving myself (because no one else will), I felt empowered to make my peace of mind priority. Right now I chose to take care of me and money will not replace my happiness or peace of mind. I’m tired of being stressed with money. I’d rather be broke, happy and STRESS free!

Do what’s best for you ;-)

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ErikViking

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have family members that suffered from depression and suicidal ideation, and now they're doing well....and I'm jealous! I TRY to be happy for them, but I'm like "why the heck can't I feel that way too?". I think of dying and being in Heaven and the thought is so attractive. But God's got us here for a reason...and once we get past this, great things are in store for us. I HAVE to cling to that hope. If I didn't have hope, I'd be way more screwed than I am now.

i pray that you feel better...I'm on your side...and there's plenty of help out there. I just wish my meds would kick in. it seems that finding an effective medication has been an impossible task, but must continue on. Even though it's the last thing i feel like doing, must move forward somehow...if it weren't for the strength of God, I'd never make it out of my bed.

Take care and be strong....you will overcome! One day at a time, one minute at a time.

Erik

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legallystressed

Yep dying feels like the only way to escape but I’m scared. I feel like I’ve ruined my life.

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ErikViking

Your life isn't ruined, although I'm sure it feels that way now. In time, options will present themselves..... but it's so hard waiting for things to improve....

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Hidden
Hidden

Have you considered corporate law? I have worked for both law firms and banks (as an investigator) and the bank attorneys seemed WAY less stressed. And then maybe you would have some breathing space to figure out a different profession if u want. Just a thought.

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legallystressed
legallystressed
in reply to Hidden

I know nothing about corporate law u wouldn’t even know where to start

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to legallystressed

It was mainly contract law, and banking regulations. I am sure you could pick it up quickly....or perhaps take a course in it. It didnt look all that exciting, but they did seem less stressed. Anyway, it was just a thought. Good luck! I hope you find sone peace......

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Red1225

I sadly get this:( the world needs more empathy, if only more people understood the isolation, immobility, embarrassment, and sadness of depression:(

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NWGal

Dear friend, are you in therapy? Sounds like some pretty serious stuff going on. How can WE help you make some sense of all this? You mentioned "doc" in another reply but is this a mental health therapist or your PCP? If just med management through your PCP we need to go to the next level. Seems like you're caught in a loop - work-stress-work-stress with no intervention. We need to break this chain of doom friend.

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