Losing closeness with grandkids

[Spooky99]

Hi everyone! My depression is very bad. I’m trying my best, exercising is helping. But my sons ex seems to be getting bitter. I use to take my 2 grandchildren to a pool a few times a week. Now she’s re-married and they go to a different swim club. She seems to be short with me. I have to say watching another man raise my grandkids is heartbreaking. Although they are loved. He’s extremely strict. My 11 yr old gd is afraid of him. My 8 yr old calls him “daddy”! The judge told him it was not appropriate. When my son gets them , which is every other wkend. It’s the opposite. I feel bad for my son. The whole situation sucks! I’m in aa recovery, and my sponsor says.. it’s none of my business. Well my family is my business to an extent. Ty guys just had to vent!

[HurtMom]

I feel for you Spooky99. We share the same fear of losing our grandkids. Take heart in the fact that you still have the love of your son. See, my situation is a bit different. My wonderful, beautiful, warm hearted son completely turned his back on his wife and twin 9 year old daughters - started drinking, doing drugs and now is living with his whore and blames ME for his decisions. I am backing my daughter in law to have the kids and he is retaliating online against me. My focus is on a stable foundation for the girls now. My prayers that your ex daughter in law realizes the love you have for your grandchildren. Be strong, be safe, be hopeful and a virtual hug.

[Spooky99 in reply to HurtMom]

Thank you!!! I’ve argued with her in the past. I just want to keep quiet. I think it’s easier to have the daughter with the kids, they are closer to their mothers. My son isn’t a picnic himself. It’s a heart ache. Ty for reaching out!!!!

[HurtMom in reply to Spooky99]

Virtual hug to you! My son is the REASON for his marriage breaking up. It tears a mothers heart out when you can tell if your son is lying if his lips are moving. My granddaughters are in a stable environment with their mom. I have to support her and the girls and pray that God touches my son's heart.

[Spooky99 in reply to HurtMom]

I’m in the same boat!!! My son was dabbling in drugs... met another girl, got pregnant..and married. He has a wonderful job. I feel he’s lost. I feel he kinda washed his hands of the other 2. I find myself getting resentful at his wife now and my granddaughter, which is nuts! She’s 5! But she has my son. I guess as long as everyone is healthy and happy! I try to leave it in Gods hands. But always take it back! Congratulations on becoming a grandparent!!!!! It’s so much fun!!!!!! Ty for chatting

[Spooky99 in reply to Spooky99]

Sorry... you are a grandparent!! I got confused with someone else!!!!!

[HurtMom in reply to Spooky99]

My prayers for you and your son. May God hear our prayers and touch both of their hearts! May God grant us the virtue of patience. Personally I can not see forgiveness for my son right now. I pray God instills that in me at some point

[Spooky99 in reply to HurtMom]

I understand! I pray that also!! I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers!

[Lostandconfused77]

I am not a grandparent yet but will be for the first time next January. I can't relate to your situation but I can offer some hopefully helpful advice. Maybe since you can't see them like you used to you could talk to her and get her to agree to let you video chat with your grandchildren. When your son has them on his weekends just try to enjoy them all and make new happy memories with them as much as possible and maybe one day she will understand and see how much joy and love you bring to them and will want to change her mind to let you and your son see them more. She has to realize that the kids are not to blame and have nothing to do with what went on. It seems to me that she is trying to use the children in this situation and they are young and innocent in all of this and that is wrong, I am so sorry you and your son are going through this and even though I'm not a grandparent I am here to try and help provide any kind of support that I can.

[Spooky99 in reply to Lostandconfused77]

Thank you so much! I think your a 100% right!!! It’s like I’m powerless over the situation and want to fix everything. But I have to step back and enjoy them when my son has them. Thank you