what’s wrong with me?

[MarileeKemp]

It’s my son’s 9th birthday weekend and I set up a scavenger hunt for him, had a pizza movie night with his friend with cake and presents. Tomorrow we’re going out to eat to celebrate with family and he’s so happy and feels really special but I am miserable. I feel so guilty for feeling depressed even during the happy times. I’m so grateful for my beautiful son, why do I still feel unhappy. I’m not sure that I’m asking for advice, I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with your feelings not matching the situation. I have so much to be happy for, yet I’m in so much pain.

[IncognitoC]

I think the main thing that you should take from this is that your son is happy, and you have done that.. you have made your son happy no matter how you are feeling no matter how hard you are on yourself, you have made your sons birthday weekend a very special time.

[MarileeKemp in reply to IncognitoC]

Yes you’re right, the most important thing is that he’s happy.

[MarileeKemp]

Thank you for saying that. I know it’s just the depression, I get frustrated with myself that I’m not happy even when things are going good.

[HockeyDad2526]

Yes, MarileeKemp, I also feel this way sometimes - everything around you is going well and is a blessing and yet you feel miserable (and therefore guilty). I am in fact feeling like this right now. I don’t have an explanation for it and my ability to deal with this depends on the day. But it happens and I think the best you can do is try to enjoy the moments as much as possible when they occur. Also, it sounds like you’ve done a great job for your son’s birthday.