When you've given up all hope

[Teatime08]

What do you do when you've given up all hope for things to work out in a positive way?

I feel like dropping out of school because I can't focus. I feel like giving up.

I was standing in the shower this evening when I realized I am done trying in my marriage. My husband is truly just here. Not emotional, just physically. He has lost love for me. He doesn't care about my sadness. As this realization hit me, I also realized I am giving him all my power. My heart laid bare and open and bleeding. Why am I doing this to myself? Because I feel like I don't deserve any better.

It is the greatest form of self harm, to love someone so unconditionally only to have the life sucked out of you as you try and try.

I am not doing this anymore. I've decided I will stay faithful in my marriage in my bond with God. My husband will eventually leave physically. But tonight I have made the decision to let him go. Emotionally, physically, and with time, mentally. And I will heal. And I will push onward. And I will never harm myself in this way again.

[StophieG]

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. What are you studying in school? It sounds like it is hard to focus. It sounds like you are working and going to school. That can be draining without support.

I too have struggled with the idea of unconditional love. It is tough when relationships feel transactional.

There is beauty in giving unconditional love, even if it is not reciprocated. Perhaps you can shine some of that love on yourself and it might help.

[Hidden]

You have made a sensible decision. Good on you. Your husband is going to do whatever he wants to do anyway, you might as well let him be and focus on your own life instead. Be polite but indifferent to his behaviour.

Love and take excellent care of yourself from now on. Widen your circle of friends. Smile and start a new chapter in life.

Keep busy. Study well ...

[lillyofthevalley37]

He married you didn't he - he can't be that bad