Death Anxiety

[Barakbet]

Hey everyone

So as a part of my GAD, I have death anxiety since I was 10 years old something like that....

The worst part of it is that the fear itself comes and goes, I had about 2-3 years without it (I’m 17 now), and recently it came back.

I consider myself not a religious person, but I do believe in some higher being kind of thing that controls everything, and I do literally my best to try and live my life without that constant fear of dying, but I guess that now the fear came back stronger than ever...

I think that the main thing that Im scared of is the possibility that everyone who’s dead simply cease to exist, now I know I shouldn’t fear about it but the idea of it won’t give me any rest😕

Any advice on how to manage it or take control on my life? Or tips how to manage the anxiety?

Thank you all in advance😁😁

[nanavisca]

Hi last year I was in a car accident it wasn’t big just that busted one of my eyes and my left side was bruised and a minor concussion but after that I got really bad anxiety about death and stuff I started thinking of what happens to people who have died? Is there an after life or we just disappear? And it was bad for a few months I never really told anyone but I didn’t even wanna get in a car at first because of that possibility I started doing some breathing exercises to try to help and some mind strength like word puzzles reading to get my mind off and sometimes I’ll get it again like if I’m in a car or just watching tv I try it open a window and sit in front of it letting the wind hit my face and just focus on the now and clear my mind idk If that’ll help but here a just a few ideas hope it helps.

[Jfb007]

I have panic attacks and I usually control it by doing exercise in the morning, breathing exercises and playing animal crossing. And theres a book that can help you with dead: “Life after life” by Raymond A. Moody, Jr. MD.

[Anxious_City]

Hi. I have serious anxiety myself. The other 2 posts mentioned breathing exercises, and I do those too. I try to take 10-15 minutes of the day and dwell on just the here and now, and what is good about life. Sometimes it feels like not much is good, and sometimes not, but it does help ground me a lot.

The other thing I try to do - harder in these times of virus - is to find a good escape. Movies, live theatre, sports events are all good escapes for me. But I do still walk quite a bit daily, which also helps with my nasty anxiety.

Hope this helps. Let us know how you're doing.

[SunIsShining]

I’m the same. The worst thing is that I started having thoughts of death as an escape when I was young as a survival mechanism and apparently having those thoughts so young means that your mind will always turn to thoughts of death as a solution even when your older. Your mind has adopted it as an acceptable response to stress. Doesn’t super help with my fear of death. All I can do is distract myself because there is no answering that question. Even those who are devoutly religious don’t know what their heaven will be like. I try to watch a comedy to get out of the dark headspace, unfortunately that’s all I can do. I go through weeks where these thoughts keep creeping up but I just have to drown them out. Falling asleep to TV helps with my anxiety.

[SunnyDay13]

Hi. You aren’t alone in that fear. In fact I think most people are pretending to not face it or just masking it...or, like us, are looking at it directly. It is a big deal. I had a lot of issues with death until my dad died when I was in my 20’s. Then I faced it (not my own death, but someone very close to me). My idea of death totally changed. I learned that looking at death as being a part of life can be a healthy way to address it. And, it can be a way to appreciate life and see it as something beautiful. I say allow yourself to look at death every once in a while. Don’t run from the thought of it. And try to just accept what it is (and what you don’t know about it). Do you listen to podcasts? If so, I recommend Headspace which are little daily mindful thoughts. The host of the podcast had a meaningful (and uplifting) one on death recently.

[McK456]

Hi Barakbet, I have a great fear over my husband dying. I suffer from depression & anxiety and every time I am in a depressed state, I obsess about him dying.

This is what I am learning and working on in therapy at the present time because I am depressed.

We are all going to die. That is a fact. If we are blessed, we may live a long life. Today is all we have. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Try, although it can be difficult, to live in the present moment. I just learned a trick that has been helpful for me this week.

I say to myself the word ANTs........every time I think of my husband dying. ANTs stands for

automatic negative thoughts. When I say the word, it is reminding me that I am currently/right now thinking negative. I only started doing this, but it is helpful!!

My therapist & I are working on the beauty of life, both small & big. Learning to enjoy my husband instead of my thoughts of his death.

It’s exhausting to live with this.

[propjock]

Me too, Barakbet, at about the same age as you. It would come as a hot flash of panic, and like you, the thought of everything just ending seemed the worst part of it.

There’s good coping advice on here for dealing with the panic and symptoms so you can LIVE today, and not be paralyzed.

Then there’s the longer term growth of accepting the fact of death and what it means. One of the most useful things I’ve learned is that any loss, not just a loved one dying, leads to grief. Realizing you’re going to die is a loss of a wonderful part of a happy childhood (if you had one). With grief, shock comes first. You just shut down. Then all the other parts come, including denial. Read on this website about grief.

Don’t get stuck. Don’t try to numb it with something. Cry out to that “higher being kind of thing” you mentioned. Be honest, with feelings, thoughts, questions, ugly crying if that happens. Then listen. Pay attention to the world around you, people in your life, people you meet. Observe. Trust that higher being to let itself be known, I started getting answers after a couple of years. You may not have to wait that long. The beginning of the answer will seem weird and make total sense at the same time, maybe right in front of you all along. I’m 61 now, just lost my parents in the last two years, and I still feel the fear sometimes, but a lot less.

I will ask it to help you. It knows this is a hard place to be.

Another thing, more down to earth, is that GAD can attach itself to whatever’s “Ok” to worry about, which isn’t always your real pain or fear. What else is going on in your world? Maybe it’s OK to you to be afraid of death, but not OK to be afraid of that other thing. The fear is going to come out, so fear of death it is. These rules we have for ourselves about what’s OK to be afraid of and what’s not are things we’ve pitched up along the way, often without being aware of them, and they’re mostly stupid and not helpful. I’m still unlearning some.

And LIVE tomorrow, fear and all. Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s being afraid and living anyway.

[Hidden]

Hi Barakbet,

Thank you for posting an interesting subject.

I have this come and go fear that someone close to me is going to die tragically. It's pretty stifling.

I would ask you to go to what usually helps you relax. Do you exercise, have a hobby, do you have some relaxation techniques like breathing or meditation?

I would say you want to distract what I call "stinkin thinkin" , your negative thoughts basically. I would teach this to kids teens and adults I worked with. What helps with some is called *thought stopping" which works by telling your thoughts to "stop" in your head in a loud voice.

I would also suggest that you think about why you may be having these thoughts. It certainly can be your anxiety fixating on this, like an OCD kind of thing, ruminating thoughts, or did you lose someone close to you? Just for you to think about to yourself.

I am always here to help as well as others. It seems like there's always someone here when you need them. A great group 🤗👍😊