idek

[annoymous234]

i dont feel good today had plans couldnt even move my heart hurts my body hurts i had like 3 anxiety attacks ik its not healthy shi hurts i hate pretending i hate posting myself bc its like why tf do i gotta pretend dat im okay i just want my close ones to realize im not okay i got out the hosp awhile ago my parents acting like im fine like nothing happened like i didnt try to make the pain stop i hate that i gotta show this im perfect wid no problems cover to people shit hurts cant tell if im laughing to crying i know im mother fuckin dying everyone left me here on this island to drown myself in my own misery the pain doesnt stop it stays goes away for a little pops right back i barely know who i am when i look in the mirror i feel pathetic like sum loser who never gon get help no medication or therapy gonna permently take my pain away my insecurities come and go everytime i look at my body i feel him trying to hurt me again dat was probably my biggest trauma its been years i havent forgotten his face the pain and scars he left fact that i never got justice breaks my heart more and more everyday funny part is das not all i been through i been through so much trauma my whole life and had anxiety since i was 5 which made shit worse nun people ik been through half the pain i have so when they say its okay you will be okay it makes me mad bc if they knew how it felt to go through shi i did they would knoow its not easy and its not okay and its hard and that it takes time not everything goes away