It’s 11:04 and I should be sleep starting my new job tomorrow, but my thoughts are taking over... A few days ago I lost a friend who was also like a brother to me.. Unfortunately he passed away while in the military and I can’t help but to just be so angry right now because the last conversations we had he told me how he didn’t even want to be in the military anymore😞 and now he’s coming home, but for us to have to say goodbye and it just don’t seem real.. idk how else to feel..
I’ve been taking medication for depression because I’ve been depressed since I was 15 and am now 21 but I just still can’t get out of my thoughts.. On top of losing my brother I found out that my ex-boo who got locked up and just disappeared on me after only contacting me about 3 times (I’m getting off topic I know) got stabbed up while in jail about a few weeks ago.. I’m hurt because of how he just disappeared on me and stopped writing me out of nowhere without even telling me why, and now hearing that he got stabbed up makes me even more sadder. It’s like yeah I’m like fuck him and I want nothing to do with him but part of me still cares for him and I just wish I knew why he stopped writing me.. I wish he never went to jail because if he wasn’t in jail I’d probably be with him right now and we’d never stop talking.. but to just go ghost on me when the last time we talked we had a good conversation? It doesn’t make sense and I don’t think I’ll stop thinking about him until I know why... I just wanna know why.
I don't know what to do
Two sides to every discussion 
Married to an introvert 40 years and didn't understand his actions
Things took a turn for the worse
What do I do 
