Too much trauma

[Survivingtheworld__]

I had an attempted rape happen a few weeks ago everybody questioning if it happened truly even my neighbors. I should have never said anything If it would have happened after the attempt so be it. The family came to my house and my mom was about to fight the cousin it’s just...I should have never said anything.

[Laurennnnnnn]

No no no no noo! I’m honestly proud and look up to you for speaking out about what happened. So many people (myself included) are raped or sexually abused (attempted or actually happened) and are too scared to say anything. You are braver than I could ever be.

I’m sorry that it’s caused drama, but if you speaking up helps one other person either be safe from whoever attempted to rape you or even helps a person find the courage to voice their own trauma, it was worth it. And from personal experience, even though it seems easier not to say anything, it’s really really hard. I’ve had two instances and at this point it’s been at least five years since they happened. And the guilt and anxiety from not talking about it has left me kind of messed up.

I’m proud of you and I know it’s hard and takes time but I hope that you reach a point where you not only find peace in your decision but also find pride in it 💙

[PastelPink20]

I can’t begin to try to use words. Idk.

An attempted rape is such a heavy trauma. I hope you heal and can feel safe again later. We all deserve our autonomy to be respected.

Of course it happened. Your experience is true. It’s infuriating that people doubt that. You deserve support.

In a perfect world, you were honest. You wore courage. You survived. You told the truth. Others rallied behind you. Others trusted your truth. Others gave you safety and comfort. The offender is judged justly. You are more important, that you will be okay, that you will be taken care of and loved, that you are safe, & that you are given the environment / space / help to process what you need to.

I can’t imagine the impacts you’re dealing with. It sounds like they are escalating and hurting more than helping.

You are important.

You are brave.

You haven’t done anything wrong.

You can’t control the actions of others. What other people decide to do, it is their choice and their responsibility for their actions.

Someone else made a choice. These impacts aren’t because of you saying anything... they’re from *their* choice - not yours. You didn’t choose this.

Your mind. Your voice.

Your autonomy. Your body.

Your safety. Your sense of security.

These are yours and they belong to you. Why should you have to give them up?

***Why should you carry the burden of silence and shame? ***

Why should you carry any of the blame? Blame - “assign responsibility for a fault or wrong” and “hold accountable, hold liable, to find guilty of.”

You chose to use your voice and identify the attacker. To express and share your experience, as a human being, you armed yourself with words. To prevent further harm and pain unto yourself, you spoke up. To identify a criminal who preys upon others and is endangering to society, you stood up and pointed.

That is the power of words.

I understand feeling the responsibility and regretting the actions that you’ve taken and now living with its lasting effects. I understand looking at it all and deciding things would be better if you had chosen differently. You made the best decision you could with what you knew. It is not your fault on how any family decided to believe or react - that’s their own behaviors and they are responsible for their own actions.

I know what I have tried to say can’t console you. It doesn’t change the situation. I know. Yet still, I hope what I’ve said holds a little truth and comfort. I hope you’ve been okay and that this month since your post has offered some new perspective and peace.