Pretending it’s my last

[Starrlight]

Today I’ll pretend it’s my last to see how giving I can be with more care and love than usual. Take extra time listening and imagining what it’s like in others shoes and hopefully make someone a nice memory.

Best to you all I love each one of you oh and I’m loving myself; don’t forget yourself. This will be a challenge since I feel sad and like I want to be alone. Trying not to feel pressure so holding onto peace that I feel deep down.

I’ve already been inspired by some of you today so thank you ☺️ 🙏

Anyone want to try this with me? It will be nice to see what we can make of this one day that we are not promised.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[Hidden]

You give of yourself all the time..please know this. I love this post...thank you so very much sis! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Ha yeah I do. I guess I want this day to really count ya know, make it something very special. And truthfully I want this to be my last.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

You want this to be your last day?

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

In a way I do, yes. I am tired of fighting but I just went out and fought for my son at school as he was having trouble with his teacher so anyway no when I think of my kids I know I can’t go but part of me wants to very badly it’s a fight against that part of me every day.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Starrlight I've been fighting this every day for days...every minute...every second. I know how hard it is. I do. I keep reaching out. And I keep falling back.

I feel like a burden to those around me. I have even become afraid to post. Feeling like an attention seeker.

So please know I'm walking in your shoes. I'm kneeling and begging and praying just like you.

And damn it hurts. But not enough to hurt those that love us.

Please stay. I will if you will.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Ok Ghostrider. I hear you and you are important, your voice, your feelings. Can you let them out here to me, well I guess you have a bit good for you and thank you. It’s good to discuss.

Do you ever find it a comfort to know that you could do it tomorrow, like only as a last resort sort of thing like don’t let yourself do it just dream about it? It may be so wrong and maybe even a scary thing to think to even pretend I don’t know but I do know thinking there some sort of an end some day is comforting... until I ponder going to hell. 😔

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Yes I understand. I get so overwhelmed with life that I am crying, shaking. And I tell myself I'm done. I'm giving up. And I feel relief.

I don't have to deal with it anymore. I let it go for a while.

So yes. I understand.

This is a coping mechanism. Suicidal ideation that is common but many won't admit to or talk about. The thought but not the intent.

It can get scary sometimes. I hate that life, depression, anxiety, pushes us to this place where death seems the only comfort.

I have never replied to a post as I came here desperate, hopeless, and struggling. I am still desperate and struggling but I have the tiniest bit of hope and I had to tell you I understand. Because I do.

But we must stay if we can.

I would give anything to be there to hold your hand.

Because I need it too.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Your words are beautiful. Like you. I am holding your hand. Thank you 😊 🙏 .

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

And I am holding yours.

Please don't let go.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Ok

[aaronm]

I love you all and myself as well. Your great on this site star! Your one of the best!

[Hidden in reply to aaronm]

She is..now we have to get her to know it!! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Awww my sis 🥰 thanks for being here!!!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

I'm your fungus...hard to get rid of..I put a post up for you! Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs sis!

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Wow 😮 you are the best!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

No my dear sis YOU are!! Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and hugs!

[Starrlight in reply to aaronm]

That means a lot to me coming from you...thank you Aaronm how are you doing today?

[aaronm in reply to Starrlight]

I'm doing well but I have sadness for my wife who is sick at home with 10 kids 2 of the kids which are also sick. The baby has RSV. 😭😭

[Starrlight in reply to aaronm]

Oh no best to you and your wife but what is RSV?

[aaronm in reply to Starrlight]

Copied from web md

Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a common, and very contagious, virus that infects the respiratory tract of most children before their second birthday.

For most babies and young children, the infection causes nothing more than a cold. But for a small percentage, infection with RSV can lead to serious problems such as bronchiolitis, which is inflammation of the small airways of the lungs, or pneumonia, which can become life-threatening.

[Starrlight in reply to aaronm]

Oooh hope baby feels better soon. Stay strong my friend.

[NCAQuilter in reply to aaronm]

What a frightening situation, to have a baby that sick. I am praying for the best of health soon, for your loved ones.

[aaronm in reply to NCAQuilter]

Thank you.

[Sillysausage234]

I’m with you ,your a beacon of star bright starrlight 😊🌟..ps are you still snowed in

[Starrlight in reply to Sillysausage234]

Awww a huge star hug for you (((((((((((((((((((((( ⭐️ Alan ⭐️)))))))))))))))))))))

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Starrlight]

🥰 wowza that feels good lol xx

[Catwoman2018]

You are amazing ((((starlight))))!!! You inspire us and we love you! Keep on shining your beautiful light here, and I'm going to be there for anyone who needs support, your light gives me strength. Lots of ((( hugs ))) from me to You! xx

[Starrlight in reply to Catwoman2018]

Awww I was just thinking some depressing thoughts and you certainly made me smile. Your light is giving me strength and I feel warmer lol thank you sooooo!

[NCAQuilter]

Your day sounds awesome! Bringing your shining starlight to all you meet. So long as you are pretending it is your last day, you will make others happy. I'm going to try to do as you are. This is a happy quest, and I feel good just thinking of ways I can brighten others lives. Thank you! Again, you have brightened my day.

[Starrlight in reply to NCAQuilter]

Thank you 🙏 😊 for pretending with me. Happy Quest; love that, yes. You gave me a great smile; thank you so my friend!

[NCAQuilter in reply to Starrlight]

We can be Donna Quixote! Tilting at Windmills and depression!

[Starrlight]

I know she is an author. Is that a title of hers?

[Boyshape]

I'm with you (^_-). Giving when you feel you have so little for yourself is an act of great kindness.... IV withdrawn from society the last 3 years since the death of my faience, retreated so far it's just me and my cats in my life, all else has been shut out. I joined this group..... My first connection with people just a week ago... And your positivity does feed my hope for better days for us all...

I'm gradually starting to venture outdoors, and the world is very different than it was a few years ago... But I have a small woods near where I live and have decided to go ground myself in nature and kick the leaves in the ground with care free abandon.... If just for the moment.

Thank you for your post... It shows we can all make a difference... Without even knowing it with those simple acts of kindness. 🕊️🤍

[Starrlight in reply to Boyshape]

You sound like a truly beautiful person. I’m very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how that feels. My heart hurts for you right now. I think kicking the leaves in the woods is awesome therapy. If it’s not to cold, feel your bare feet on the ground. Wish I could kick leaves with you. Stay strong my friend.

[Boyshape in reply to Starrlight]

It was wet and muddy but still a joy to be amongst nature. I found a lone simple wooden Cross that never used tro be there just in the undergrowth. I don't know what it signifies or commemorates, but with all that is going on a took a long moment just looking at it...

Thank you for your kind words... I'm just trying to refind my feet in this world.. Your welcome to come kick social distanced leaves anytime (^_-)

[Starrlight in reply to Boyshape]

So cool

[Hb2003]

Your amazing ❤️ We all love you we are all in This together 😊

[Starrlight in reply to Hb2003]

(((((((((Hb))))))) we are

[Hb2003 in reply to Starrlight]

❤️😊

[Iammesues]

You are inspiring to me. I don’t currently have your will for pursuing happiness, but I aspire to. You really do represent star light

[Starrlight in reply to Iammesues]

❤️ ✨ ((((((((((((( hug)))))))))))))) ✨ ❤️

[Hb2003 in reply to Starrlight]

Hugs back ❤️😊

[Starrlight in reply to Hb2003]

😊 ☮️

[Hb2003 in reply to Starrlight]

😊 I always look forward to see your posts❤️😊