Pretending

[Tripster]

I’m so tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m not optimistic, okay? I don’t know how to tell everyone that I may have depression. I’ve never told anyone about how I’ve felt EVER. Whenever I’m asked how I’m feeling I get a panic attack. It sucks to hear about how “lazy” I am all the time cause I won’t get out of bed. I haven’t had a friend in 2 years. I planned on joining the navy soon, but I don’t know if I can do it. Not in the state I’m in now. How do I tell my family about this and get a proper diagnosis? Should I just contact my doctor in private first? But even then I’m terrified about anyone finding out. I feel like the alien specimen that everyone stares at.

[Hidden]

It’s really difficult to pretend on a daily basis. I’ve been there & still going through that a lot. I don’t like giving advice on here because I am just trotting along through life trying to figure out what I’m doing myself, but I can tell you what’s helped me at least on the front to admitting that I have problems. I have an amazing family who knows something is wrong with me when I’m not talking or laughing or being active. You need to tell someone that you can trust to help you. Even if it’s just one person. It will take so much of that pressure off of your chest. It’s like a literal weight will be lifted. You should absolutely check into seeking medical help for what you’re going through. You deserve to live a fulfilled life. Don’t live inside your own head all of the time. That’s what it is. It’s just bad thoughts & it can control your life. I’m on medication now & taking action to better myself. I’ve been in the house for almost 8 months. I promise that everyday you try, it can get better. It doesn’t happen at first, but sooner or later you realize that you’re thinking a happy thought or doing something that gives you some contentment. Keep coming here & writing to us too. That alone has helped me so much. I am always here for you if you need to vent. Stay strong! xo

[Tripster in reply to Hidden]

But what if I don’t trust anyone? Not even my own family (which is kinda a sad thing to say). I don’t have any friends either. That’s why I was asking if I should talk to my doctor first.

[Hidden in reply to Tripster]

I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe you should talk to your doctor first then. That would be great. I’m here if you ever need to talk. <3

[b1b1b1 in reply to Tripster]

Yes, you can talk to your doctor first as Mermaid says. You are entitled to privacy, and don't have to discuss your emotional issues with anyone, other than your doctor or a therapist, if you don't want to.

[likethefall]

I would suggest that you speak with your doctor as soon as you can. Just talking about it will relieve some of your emotions.

[JS1981]

I joined the army when I was at a very low point in my life. To be honest, I joined hoping I would go to combat and get killed. I did go to combat, didn’t get killed obviously but the military helped immensely with my depression. It allowed (or possibly forced) me to focus on other things. It didn’t work out in the long run, I got out after almost seven years but it was the best thing I have ever done. You also get a lot of benefits when you get out. If you do join, just make sure you understand that you will be making a commitment that is really hard to get out of. I thing I might be sounding like a recruiter but it was a great experience for me.

[Hidden]

Your family probably knows more than you think about your problems, especially if you don’t get out of bed. That’s the ultimate in escaping life. Please seek some professional help before things can get any worse. You can do it! Wishing you the best! 🌺😊🌺

[froggymom88]

Yes, I think it's a good idea to talk to your doctor first. After that maybe pick the person in your family you feel most comfortable talking to about this. It will be difficult, but you must take these steps to start the healing process. It's wonderful that you are ready to start the changes. You will be in my prayers.