I survived abuse, but still feel stuck

[JustCuriousxxx]

my parents are pretty horrible parents to me. All throughout when I grew up, they favored my sister and put me down or just straight up ignored my feelings. There was more to it than that, but let’s just say I still struggle with it. I feel like I’m slowly drowning in my own tears. I don’t want to live but I don’t want to die. I have flashbacks to parts of my childhood (have forgotten most of it) and end up crying in a corner for hours. I hide it and pretend I’m ok but I’m so tired. I don’t feel like anyone understands just how much I hate my parents. Moving out was the best thing that I ever did. But even now, I am still prone to abusive or even just sketchy relationships. I don’t think I’ll ever recover. I have no self esteem, and have ASPD from the trauma. Even my best friend left me once she learned about my sociopathy. Anyways I just wanted to tell somebody. If anyone else was emotionally abused as a child, I’d be happy to share more of my store to validate your feelings. Lord knows I don’t have any anyways

[Dolphin14]

JustCurious

I'm sorry you grew up this way. We carry these wounds for a lifetime.

Are you in therapy?

🐬

[catsrock]

I have similar issues with my mom and sister. Currently reading a book called, "The Let Them Theory," and it is helping. Also good therapy. I hope you get some relief soon.

[catsrock]

Also wanted to say that inner child work helped me. Parenting the inner child in me that didn't get what she needed from her parents did make a difference.

[designguy]

You might try finding a therapist that treats trauma/c-ptsd and work with them, mine used emdr which was very helpful for me resolving and healing my childhood trauma. There is also a lot of good info on youtube about healing childhood trauma.

[Mohammad-341]

I also hate my parents they also abused me