Panic , SOS help

[Kevin160]

Everything is changing so fast in my life, i spent 2 months in lockdown, lonely and no one to talk to, worked through extreme panic and irrational fears like what if i had urges to hurt myself, i dont have urges, but the panic really made me think that, it was horrible, it happened after seeing a post here about it , triggered me and made me feel like i was going insane, i started getting bad episodes of derealization, insomnia, and panic attacks

But now everything is opening up i have my first job interview tomorrow , i dont know what to expect it all happened fast i wasnt even searching

I have my driving test, and i spent all week doing paper work and going back and forth doing stuff

I suddenly have all these responsibilities and tasks and stuff to do, i dont even feel like an adult and what am i even doing with my life

I was feeling moderate anxiety but everything is changing and happening after another, and im cracking , i got this really bad feeling of deralization, started thinking im going to lose control over my body and hurt myself in the same way i saw in the post that was stuck in my mind for months, tried to calm myself for hours but my heart kept sinking at the slightest thought, i kept doing exercises and things to calm me down , sat on the balcony for a bit, tried to calm myself but i still feel a brain fog , like in a dream, its really scary and makes me feel worse about me losing control over my body , which i know is irrational, but i just feel like im losing my mind, the panic is bad and it feels like its digging deep imo my chest and im going to throw up

I dont have anyone to talk to, each one probably had enough of my mental heakth issues or they have their own stuff, i dont know how i will go through all the stuff i have to go through, i have to take revision driving classes, and i have to do alot of things for this week, i just know keep telling myself as each time it will get better, or i will find something that works , but i need help

[PT81]

Hey Kevin160. Slow down...breath. Panic can make you think irrationally. Take a minute and do some breathing exercises. Plenty free ones on YouTube. Good luck with your interview. I wish you inner clam.

[Kevin160 in reply to PT81]

Im really trying, im feeling a bit better now, but im having trouble convincing my mind that my thoughts are irrational, im under so much pressure And its getting to me, because these irrational thoughts have been there for months and i always managed them, so why did they suddenly become bad?

[PT81 in reply to Kevin160]

It’s hard but you have to keep reminding yourself that they are irrational and that they’re just thoughts. The more stressed and anxious you get the more those type of thoughts stick around to mess with you. Keep breathing and utilizing you’re coping skills. You mentioned that you are feeling better. Maybe not where you want to be yet, but improved since your original post three hours ago. Don’t lose hope.

[Kevin160 in reply to PT81]

Thank you

[red_door]

Congratulations on your interview! You're doing a great job. Remember that you are surviving this pandemic. Your body is working really hard to protect you and keep you here. And you deserve to be here! You are so important. It sounds like you're in survival mode. Have you tried looking for support groups for anxiety, or maybe a therapist to help you work out this panic response? I know in-person groups are hard to find now, but there are online support groups and therapists out there. I like Betterhelp. I also found reaching out to NAMI in my area to be helpful for finding groups. Try nami.org/ and do a search for your state.

[Kevin160 in reply to red_door]

I started therapy but couldnt get any sessions after the first assessment where i found out i had GAD and we talked about some ocd tendancies which i believe most people get with anxiety disorders , so i started to get worried after searching about ocd , and seeing that some people get urges to hurt themselves, this really triggered me and eventhough i never had any urges of this sort, over panicking about, nightmares, and also insomnia sometimes, and always thinking about it really scares me , i know i have free will, i have control, but i just cant seem to get the irrationak thoughts out of my head

[red_door in reply to Kevin160]

Another option to in-person therapy is online therapy. Betterhelp or Talkspace are great places to start. Please don't give up. You deserve to feel better. We're rooting for you!

[Kevin160 in reply to red_door]

Well , all the online therapy apps and stuff are very expensive, and considering im a student i cant afford it , but i will try to go back to regular therapy , its all money consuming but maybe it will help

[newbie1956]

Kevin, we're all pulling for you...and i'm praying.

I really believe you'll do better than you think.

You have many friends here & you never have to feel alone.

<3

[Kevin160 in reply to newbie1956]

I obviously appreciate all the help, but sometimes having your friends and family physically close to you and supporting you is what you desperately need , because i feel i cant talk to them at all

[Survivor4Ever]

Well you definitely have a lot on your plate which can make anyone feel overwhelmed. But you can do it! Just remember the more you dwell on it the more it grows. I have to personally separate things apart. Like a list. Take things apart. Like for instance you have bunch some grapes you bought from the store. Well maybe it’s times you wash them separate them and put them in snack bags like I do. Keeping everything together can can cause the mind to go on overload and want to mentally breakdown. And feel like things aren’t want they seem to be. I know that feeling been there before. It caused by having way too many thoughts on your mind in your head at one moment,lack of sleep, eating to less/too much/not spending enough time outdoors . Putting too much pressure on yourself and trying to be perfect at everything you do the perfectionist trap. Trying to please others. Just be you! You are ok the way you are. There’s nothing wrong with you. Slow down , take a deep breath and maybe put some essential oils on a paper towels and practice inhaling the best are lemon or orange smelling ones.

To calm you and soothe you. Hope this helps,,,,

[Kevin160 in reply to Survivor4Ever]

I will try that, thanks for the advice

[Survivor4Ever in reply to Kevin160]

The grapes was a metaphor of course

[Survivor4Ever]

Another thing I do is take a spiral notebook write down date on top. Than list 1. Made bed 2. Brushed teeth 3. Took a shower 4. Got dressed 5. Studied 6. Took meds, and so forth . I have to have structure and by the end of the day I’ve accomplished about 25 things but didn’t get overwhelmed. I write them in 5s and as I do them not a “to do list “but a “could do list” food for thought.

[Kevin160 in reply to Survivor4Ever]

Yeah thats a good idea to get organized and not overthink and panic, thank you for the suggestion