social anxiety

[shewolf_]

I feel so sad and uncomfortable. I have social anxiety and it’s sucks always being that weird person in a group . I feel nervous anxious and so I just get super quiet. I don’t know how to open up around people or guys that I’m just meeting . I’m so used to being an introvert and I want to change I guess so I don’t always feel anxious about being around people that aren’t apart of my close circle . I wish I could be more outgoing and fun always and anywhere . I just feel sad because ever since me and my ex broke up I don’t know how to get out there and be okay around other guys . I lack confidence and it just makes me tired . There’s no growth in comfort zones . But why is it so damn hard to get out of them. I hate feeling pressured to be social .

[zperry4]

Hey hope you’re well. I get these feelings a lot, probably ever since middle school. I remember having anxiety about school for the first time in like 4th grade and I always thought I was sick, that’s how debilitating it was. But you’re 100% normal, probably a majority of people have it just as bad as you do at some point, myself included.

I would try to interrogate a lot of these feelings. What specifically makes you uncomfortable, like which things do you fear or avoid in interactions? Even if you can’t change it right away, identifying it can make you feel better. In those moments when you’re quiet, what would you prefer to do and what leads up to those feelings coming on?

I think you should try to get some easy victories so you can get some practice under your belt, and gain confidence. I’m a fan of one-time or weekly organized events for this first step. Events at the library, meditations, environmental cleanups, book readings, book clubs, farmers markets, volunteering. Just go out, don’t try to do anything, just exist in that space without the pressure to interact. When you can take away that pressure, and bring down the anxiety, then you can allow yourself to move more freely and be expressive, which then makes it more natural to just chat with people. It sounds stupid, but it’s all about reducing anxiety and practice. Good luck.

[lovehealingforme]

I feel this, I have never dated but at times meeting new people and seeing new faces I tend to freeze up or somehow embarrass myself. Im learning to not care too much about it, and just try to be light about.

[Joy4444]

I can relate so much. People can be totally draining. It is nerve racking because I don’t want to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing and I worry what people will think of me especially in situations where I’m just meeting new people. I can tell you are very bright and self-aware and if you want to be more social you totally can, maybe start by just doing things you enjoy, you can find others that enjoy the same things which can take the pressure off. The attention is moreso on the activity. There are also groups online so maybe that could be a good small step. I’ve also found that when I compare myself to others, I get a skewed perception. I imagine other people have a much richer social life and I feel down on myself. But as I get older I’ve found that it can be much better to have a small circle of maybe a couple people I can confide in.

[marsdream]

shewolf

You are so brave and strong to admit your struggles. I have had family members who have struggled with social anxiety. First, you need to look for a friend, counselor or life coach in your area. Don't walk though these times alone. Just take one step at a time, when it comes to getting out of your comfort zone. If you feel better going out with a group of friends, maybe it won't be so awkward to have one or two there to help get you started. You may stay introverted, but take those first steps you will find yourself growing in your confidence with people.