Advice on communication and better listener!!!

[Optimistic_22]

Hi y’all hope all is well. I’ve been feeling a bit hopeless and down. Life is hard but harder during coronavirus. I want to work on myself during this time. God knows it’s been a long time coming and there’s no time better then the present. I have bad anxiety and hard time listening. I often cut people off and miss the main point in the conversation. I’ve always had this problem since a teen and now I’ve realized how problematic it’s become. It’s effected my relationship with my teen son and my boyfriend. My son often doesn’t listen because he feels not listened too and has a hard time with authority . My anxiety blocks things out due to the pressure I feel during conversations.

My boyfriend has been helping me raise my son. He’s a bit more strict then me . Sometimes I feel he’s trying to tell me what to do with son. He’s always been spot on about outcomes in my life and my son. I always come to him for help but have a problem taking constructive criticism and often close off. Then resent my boyfriend feel he’s controlling when only he’s trying to help me and my decisions are mine alone. My boyfriend and I are living together and not on speaking terms currently. Due to the fact of my son rebelling hitting him and my anxiety effects my boyfriend.

I’m feeling lost and lonely. I rushed into this relationship and so did he when we both had a tremendous loss. We truly love each other but life is heavy with us now. He’s been experiencing severe break downs because past three years he’s dealt with my anxiety and my son trying to raise . He loves us both so much but is worried he’s never had mental break downs before. He now is turned off and I feel alone. He wants me to work on my anxiety, communication and relationship with son. My son has never listened to me and always his father. His father passed and now he has my boyfriend which he listens to but puts a strain on there relationship.

I feel son is out of control due to rebelling caught with Alcohol , suspensions and violent towards boyfriend. On the other hand he tries to just hang with me watch tv and still gives me a hug good night. We have long talks. I want him on a schedule but he says why what do I have to look forward too. He’s been grounded for a month for alcohol. He has alopecia ( hair loss ), food allergies and asthma so he’s high risk for coronavirus. Now can’t hang out with kids because he’s high risk. He very stubborn and has a attitude . He goes back and forth with emotions. I just want my son to turn out ok.

My son and I had a long talk and set up expectations and boundaries for each other. But my son hasn’t followed through. I try different parenting techniques and never get anywhere. Now that my boyfriend is tapped out my son just withdraws lays in bed and I have to try and wake up everyday and get motivated.

Know this is very long just wanted to put a clear picture out there. My boyfriend feels unappreciated by both of us.

My son feels unheard and strict rules.

I feel lonely and no control with child.

I feel sad and hopeless.

Would like advice on parenting techniques that have been effective and worked.

How to reduce anxiety and be positive during conversations.

How to be silent while others are talking and be a better listener.

How to have a effective conversation and communicate back and forth.

Thanks to all my health community out there.

[Msteacher]

It sounds to me like you all need a little boost and someone to listen. Have you considered online family counseling?

[Optimistic_22 in reply to Msteacher]

I’ve never tried group online therapy but that sounds like a great idea.

I’ve had a session with my boyfriend, but all of us together would be nice.

My therapy currently focuses on my severe anxiety and focus on communication with others.

So yes I agree next session would be nice.

My son I think needs a different perspective he always brings up his friends and what they can do. I think he needs to realize it’s not just my opinion or rules it’s a general parenting. Him hearing from another person besides parents would be very beneficial.

Thanks so much for your advice. I needed it.