How do you take one day at a time? I suffer from anxiety & depression and I am a chronic worrier.I was wondering if anyone has ant tips how you do this and not worry about the future.
How do you take one day at a time? - Anxiety and Depre...
How do you take one day at a time?
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crabfish1979
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Phew! That’s a tough one. You sound like you have a survivalist mentality. Your brain is constantly on high alert, trying to solve problems or, at least, get ready for them at a moments notice. I am a live day by day kind of person myself so I, unfortunately, have no advice to give. Only encouragements that you will figure out something that will work for you.
Thanks
I wish I knew... sometimes it just happens and I can focus on a day or hour but typically I worry about the future constantly. Sometimes meditating and other ways of staying busy help.
Thanks for the reply
❤️ wish I could be more help, I’m trying to go with it, be with it, just like you...but it’s hard .
Crabfish, everyone has concerns for their future. The problem for people with anxiety disorder is that it exaggerates by a factor of ten any small worries we have. So normal concerns become obsessional worries.
The way to free ourselves from worrying too much about the future is the same as freeing ourselves from all the other symptoms of anxiety disorder. We must stop adding second fear to every flash of first fear we feel. We must reassure ourselves that all the symptoms of high anxiety are fake and counterfeit: the result of that process that exaggerates small worries ten fold.
Having a new boss doesn't mean we'll lose our job. Those chest pains aren't heart failure they are muscular tension caused by anxiety.
Releasing too much fear hormone causes our nervous system to become over sensitised which is what causes all these exaggerated responses.
When we stop adding second fear to first fear, when we stop frightening ourselves half to death every five minutes, our over sensitised nerves recover and all our symptoms of high anxiety will yield. This will include your fear of the future.
How do you overcome fear, you may ask, and bring about this complete recovery from anxiety disorder?
You stop fighting your symptoms and fearful thoughts as fighting only produces more stress and tension. Instead you agree to accept for the time being all these uncomfortable symptoms and troublesome thoughts.
Respite and recovery can be won by practising the four protocols set out by Doctor Claire Weekes a lifetime ago, which is to say.
Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass.
When you are worrying all the time do you just accept these thoughts and keep on worrying?
Yes just accept the worrying thoughts but you now know that their seriousness is being exaggerated many times over. Accept the worryng thoughts for the time being, get on with solving your problems and let time pass. You will surprise yourself at how easy they were to overcome due to the exaggeration of anxiety disorder.
By accepting and not fighting the worrying thoughts you cease to flood your nervous system with fear hormones and your nerves recover.
Does Claire Weekes methods work for depression too?
Yes, she has a special chapter on depression, or depletion as she calls it. I'm less familiar with her thoughts on depression but she treats it more as another symptom of nervous sensitisation but with extreme nervous exhaustion.
I think there are several types of depression but I think depression and anxiety are often difficult to tell apart. A common cause of depression is that we become depressed about having to face anxiety disorder.
Yes. Dr Weekes refers to it as depletion, not depression. Depletion sets in because the sufferer has battled for so long, their emotional reserves have become depleted, like a drained battery. When you learn to accept all the symptoms and be ok about not feeling ok, your emotional reserves are able to replenish themselves. Confidence and resilience returns and you will find yourself being able to face and cope with the world again.
Constantly fighting depletion, trying to find your way out of the maze is akin to leaving all the electrics on in your car every night and worrying why the battery is always flat the next morning.
Perfect... thank you !
Hey Jeff,
Keep on keeping on. These ideas bear repeating each time the question is asked.
I am fairly I am not the only person for whom certain acceptance is a damn difficult concept to implement.
Acceptance is not something you can just switch on like a light bulb. It takes persistent practice and to begin with you may only glimpse it for a few minutes. Very few people find acceptance easy but the reward of a quiet mind makes all worthwhile.
But I must say it's best to get it from the horse's mouth and read Claire Weekes own words, nobody else can do full justice to her method. Her first book is called 'Self help for your nerves' in the u.k. but is also published as 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the u.s. both titles available on Amazon and Ebay new or used for not too much. When I first read it 45 years ago I felt my life begin.
No (bleep!),
You must have been an embryo!
Your words shine with youth and enthusiasm.
You're not putting me on?
Ha-ha, Good advice is good advice whether it was written yesterday, a year ago, ten years ago, or a thousand years ago.
I am 77 years old and first read Claire Weekes' first book in 1975. Her first book was published in 1962 and is still in print. Doctor Weekes passed over 30 years ago after a lifetime of teaching her method in consultations, public meetings, TV appearances and most importantly her self-help books.
Her biography has just been published, its title is: "Claire Weekes: the woman who cracked the anxiety code." That sums her up well. Do not think any less of her because she came from a previous generation, her method has stood the test of time.
Claire Weekes experienced anxiety disorder herself when she was young and worked out her method to cure herself. How many of today's psychiatrists and therapists have suffered themselves? A few but not many. Doctor Weekes method works because she knew what she was talking about.
Sweetie,
Being in my mid-sixties, I am not likely to think less of anyone from an earlier generation.
The dreck that defines The Great White Way pales in comparison to the geniuses who left their mark in years past.
No, I am not the first to mourn the passing of "the good old days". But, hey. I don't mind adding a new voice to the chorus.
I prefer the good old days, the 1960s when you could park where you liked for nothing and good jobs were ten a penny. I'm retired but I worry about my grandsons' jobs...and my great grandsons jobs to come.
To be quite honest I'd prefer to live in the 1930s but would need to have money🤗 lots of it to enjoy the best of the 1930s.
I remember Dad's stories of riding the rails (looking for work I suspect, he didn't say, men were stoic then), so romantic. Scary as hell now, looking back. And his days in the coal mines in Pennsylvania. Exciting to hear. Backbreaking to do I expect.
Looking at the world through rose colored glasses... Reminds me of a lovely old song. You may remember it: La Vie en Rose. Édith Piaf did a wonderful version. I also enjoyed the version Audrey Hepburn sings in Sabrina. Check it out and see what you think.
I know that song, it crosses language barriers. You are right about how tough life was in the 1930s which is why I said only if I had lots of money.
"Dreck?" he intrusively interjects, changing out of his Cats t-shirt. 😼
Thank you for the reply.Extremely informative.
One day at a time, some days it’s an hour or even a minute at a time. I like the saying “
Mindfulness works. Meditation works. Yoga works. There are a lot of things you can do.
Hi, maybe you could search for neurolinguistic reprogramming, I recently had a talk at work about that and it sounds like it can help with having positive thoughts throughout the day
I am like this also.I tried to live healthy, took extra bread off, weight 120, no sauces cheese etc and woke up with a quad bypass....No symptoms, bloodwork fine...now at times I cant sleep for days in fear..i now dealt with that question...what do I fear.As I say to my self the logical outcome of my anxiety vrs my ocd anxiety...I find balance.I am trying "calm"app that helps teach a little mindfulness.I also pray read scriptures and this sounds silly but works for me....you tube has rain and thunderstorms that will go for 8 hrs, it gets me to sleep.hope this helps....it is a tough one for sure. dogs are womans best friends too...I wish I could exercise I know I would sleep sounder.
• in reply tojackiesj
I suggest taking anxiety meds, all that worry and can't sleep may cause you to have an heart attack
I know how you feel, what Helps Me is to distract yourself...Hobbies...Music...Exercise...Cooking?
Just as it says, just get through that day and don't worry about tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, because too much overthinking can cause you to me too anxious!
I'm clearly not doing Claire Weekes' Acceptance method justice. No, I don't mean accepting that the worrying thoughts are true, I mean accept having these thoughts which you know are not true.
You have moved on to the Acceptance phase too early, you hae not successfully completed the first phase which is FACE. Only when you are able to face the fact that these worrying thoughts are empty threats are you ready to practice acceptance.
I have only read Claire Weekes' 5 self help books so do not know if others are senseless but I hear good reports of others.
When you call self-help books senseless what self-help book were you referring to? I presume you've read one or you'd be pre-judging them ie prejudiced against self-help books.
So yes, GiadaPeterson, please name at least one self help book you have read that you found senseless.
I have no interest in encouraging you to read a book you're not comfortable with. But Agora1, Beevee and myself consider that we have recovered according to CW's definition of recovery and we did it through reading CW's "senseless" books. As have tens of millions of other sufferers according to Doctor R. Barlow, Emeritus Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Boston University.
I gather you have not recovered yet and call self help books "the last resort".
There is a place for all methods in recovery: medications, face-to-face therapy and self help books.
Claire Weekes, whose self-help books I commend, was nominated for Nobel Prize for her contribution to mental health. So I suspect she could hold her own against any therapists.
I wish i knew i do the same your not alone its hard
Thanks
I understand what your saying crabfish1979
...and that is the whole point of acceptance.
How can you expect to rid yourself of something that you are not prepared to feel? Thats like breaking your arm and not wanting to feel the pain that comes with it when it is healing.
The mental anguish you are feeling is the pain you must feel in order to get better. You get better by allowing all that mental anguish to be there and doing bugger all to stop it, carrying on with your life. Take it with you. Do all the things you would normally do if you didn’t have anxiety.
The anguish you are constantly feeling is caused by sensitisation of your nerves which need time to de-sensitise. They have been battered into submission through constant worry and vibrating away like a tuning fork that has been dropped.
When I say bugger all, let the worrisome thoughts come and then let them go. The more respect and attention you give them (second fear). the longer they stick around. It is just anxious energy being released in the shape of those uninvited thoughts that flash into your mind’s eye and grab your attention because they come with (first) fear which Jeff has already mentioned.
By letting yourself think and feel everything anxiety has to offer and falling into any state ( you will feel like crap for a while but that’s about it) you are creating space for your mind and body to heal, as nature intends. Time for those nerves to de-sensitise. When you fight, avoid, suppress or do anything to stop those thoughts and feelings, the energy will remain (fighting just tops up that energy you are fighting to get rid of) and continue to keep coming up for release.
This is why acceptance works. By accepting, you are opening the flood gates to let all that energy escape. It needs to escape and is all part of the healing process of the nerves that control your emotions. In time, peace of mind and body will follow. Recovery will come to you when you let it.
I really needed to hear this today. I woke up super anxious and this helped pull me out of it. This is so essential to recovery and I lose sight of this every so often. I'm very grateful to you for the reminder!
Don’t thank me, thank Dr Weekes. I just followed her teachings, making lots of mistakes along the way. If it hadn’t been for her, I’m not sure where I’d be right now.
There is light at the end of the dark tunnel, no matter how long you may have been stuck in there. Her self-help books and online content provide the torch/flashlight and it is up to individuals to make their own way along that tunnel and towards the light [peace of mind and body].
Beevee🔦
P.s. speaking of tunnels, here is a piece of useless trivia I just heard on the radio.
If a tunnel was dug through the centre of the earth (one side to the other) and you jumped down it, it would take 42 minutes to emerge on the other side 😳
Read Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes. Title may differ outside the U.K. it makes perfect logical sense and written by a medical doctor who suffered herself and found out how to overcome it. Don’t take my word for it. She might explain it better than me.
Took me a while for the penny to drop but when it does, you reap the benefits.
If chronic anxiety is an illness, it’s an illness of the nervous system, in general terms, where the nerves become sensitised through prolonged stress, trauma, or a series of stressors. I suppose Sensitisation it’s a bit like having wobbly knees at the thought of doing something scary, like riding a roller coaster but for anxiety sufferers, the feeling is continuous. That wobbly feeling is just adrenalin.
Sufferers unwittingly slip into an anxious state when they are bewildered by all the symptoms caused by sensitisation and then become afraid of the scary thoughts and feelings they are experiencing.
Like any illness, you can recover when you understand that the natural human instinct to fight it does not work for anxiety. Fighting has the opposite effect because all the time you are worrying about those thoughts or feelings simply keeps those nerves sensitised and producing the very symptoms you are afraid of and trying to get rid of...by fighting. You create a vicious circle of fear-adrenalin-fear so the anxiety doesn’t go away, no matter what you do.
Read it again. It made no sense to me either to begin with but then started seeing similarities in some of the things she mentioned. The more I read it, the more I was able to relate to what she was saying. For example, seeing things or going places that struck fear into her. Things that never used to bother her. How a sufferer could not bare her husband even though, deep down, she knew she loved him.
The first few times I read it, it made me more anxious than ever but I persevered. I also bought a book called At Last a Life by Paul David which builds upon (explains in a different way) the very same principles first published by Dr Weekes. He also has an excellent blog on his website, anxitynomore.co.uk
Lots of useful practical advice about the meaning of acceptance from Paul and many others who have recovered. I’m just doing the same on this forum but appreciate it can take time for sufferers to grasp what I’m saying.
Heck, if you have spent along time trying to get rid of anxiety, it may be time to adopt a different approach and give up trying to do something about it. Doing nothing about anxiety works.
Sorry but I have never implied that you should. It’s good to be able to confide in a person you trust.
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