Need some advice

[Longo12]

Hi everyone,

Hope you all keepin up and hanging there despite the continuous crisis.

I need some advice, I’m soon turning 30 though I’m recovering from burnout that I had for ten months now it is going not bad , still some anxious here and there but I’m working very hard to control and so on, it came a point where I want to have a baby but my biggest worry is that will my symptoms affect the baby? Can I be more anxious for the time I want to give birth? How does this work for people who have experienced already?

I would be grateful to hear.

Thank you.

[Hidden]

I can't really give advice here but I am glad you're doing well!

Also, my cousin decided to get herself pregnant without the father's consent because she was "lonely." She's a drug addict and the kid's 5 and still can't talk with all kinds of problems. Just make sure if you think you wanna have a kid that you get consent from all parties involved and that you really want to deal with it for 18 years+. Sorry, this subject just makes me nervous 😅

Many merry wishes your way!

[Hidden]

Hi Do,

Having a child is a huge responsibility, but I know you know that. So with that responsibility, anxiety can play a major role throughout your pregnancy about the little things many mommies wonder about, and it may even carry over well after giving birth. It’s thought that 1 in 7 women will experience anxiety after giving birth, and seeing as how you have a history of anxiety, your chances of being the 1 in 7 are higher. Stress and anxiety can be a strain on the body which you’re sharing with the baby, and it often causes the body to release certain hormones so in many ways this can have an affect on the baby. I would just say to make sure you have a very strong support system before committing to motherhood. And continue getting and keeping your anxiety under your control, because it can be done!

Best of wishes to you and your family

C.K

[JDinFL]

Consult your DR always. I was lucky that my severe anxiety didn't kick in until I'd had my children (maybe a clue there), but anxiety is manageable even in pregnancy with or without medication. Making sure you have a support system aware of any issues would be my best advice. My grandsons mother is bipolar, anxiety and PTSD. She saw a psychiatrist through part of and after her pregnancy as an alternative to medication. She studied meditation, and since then she's had another beautiful healthy baby.

[Longo12]

Thank you for your very positive feedback, Im in Africa now and I can not see a Doctor I mean a psychologist as you know or heard is very rare to find the good ones here, well my husband is a French and I was in Europe and did see a specialist which it helped, the crisis did gotten me stuck here,

But still I’m thinking ones it’s over I would consider that because I’m not using any medication I’m trying naturally to recover,

I keep praying and waiting for the pandemic to get over I do hope I will get to do it

Blessed.

😊

[Hidden in reply to Longo12]

I read this after my message.

I’m not sure what your community is Africa is like, but you need family and friends that will support you.

[Hidden]

24 years ago, as a 20 year old college dropout, I was diagnosed with depression. After 2 and a years, my depression was under control, and I had my life back on track (credit cards and car paid off) and I was on the path to finish college.

I had decided that I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to burden them with the chance that they could be predisposed to depression, like me.

Then at 23, I was swept off my feet by a guy. Within a year, I was married and had a happy baby daughter. Within 9 more years, I had 2 more daughters and a son. ❤️ I struggled to keep my depression under control.

That first beautiful baby girl is now an amazing college sophomore. I couldn’t be proud of her! But she’s struggled with depression and anxiety too. Since I knew what to watch for, I knew when the depression started with her. She’s been on antidepressants since 5th grade. It’s been hard for her, and she’s struggled a lot, but she has a good support system in place.

My other 2 daughters are also on antidepressants. Both since 3rd grade. My son doesn’t take antidepressants, but I constantly watch for signs.

I am no longer with their father, but now he his a good father to them.

Do I think about the fact that I swore I wouldn’t have kids (because I didn’t want to ‘give’ them depression)? Yes, I do - I was especially hard on myself when their dad and I separated. Do I regret having them? Absolutely not!

Because of my own experiences, I have tried to be proactive in treating their depression. But...

It’s been hard at times to get past my own ut . It’s hard to parent when my depression isn’t under control. I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes with them, and it’s always harder to recover from those mistakes, since we can’t just hit a do over button.

My advice to you?

1. Don’t rush into having kids. 30 isn’t old to have a baby. You can still have a child in 5 or 10 years.

2. Talk to your doctors about your medications during and after pregnancy.

• Can you take your medication while pregnant, or is there another one that is safe? (I was about to start an antidepressant during my first pregnancy. I was also about to continue my antidepressant during my other pregnancies.)

• If you plan to breastfeed, can you take your medicine? If not, will that make you depressed? If your baby doesn’t ‘latch on’ and you’re not able to breastfeed, will that be depressing to you?

3. Have a financial plan. We all know that money problems can affect our depression. No, you don’t need to have everything set financially, but think ahead.

4. MOST IMPORTANTLY — PUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH FIRST!

• Have a good support system in place. Be prepared to ignore the negative people. Find support groups.

• Take advantage of parenting classes. You don’t want people in your life that undermine your parenting.

I’m sorry it was so long!

[Longo12 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry I meant to you and not Do haha 😆

Everydayisagift

And thank you for sharing your story. 🥰

[Hidden in reply to Longo12]

You have obviously had through a lot. Don’t ever doubt that you are strong and can make it through anything! ❤️

[Longo12]

Hi Do.

Not it wasn’t long but it was a very open message for me, you just opened to me way more that I’m understanding more and more,

You know there are things that we need to learn from other people, look now I’m relaxed so actually I can have a baby maybe after a few years to come later,

I will tell you something little about me, I just feel to talk about it,

When I was young of 13 I run from my family because I didn’t want to get married I thought everything by myself, I slept in the bush in buses and so on, later on I met a woman who helped me with college and after that I had my very good job more than that I also had my business so I had two jobs I was very successful in helped my mother since my father did abandon her,

But I had so many responsibilities my younger brothers and sister had to pay for their school fees, yet I myself needed to plan for my future, so many things to take care of.

Still I had problems with my relationship it wasn’t going alright as I wanted, and last year in July it was in evening like at 8 I was in the phone call I still remember what we were talking I felt like dizzy suddenly and because

“I thought that maybe because of the wine I was having and that two days I go I had an injection because I had terrible headache “

So I got scared like what is happening Is it because if the injection that it cannot go with the alcohol? I’m i dying? I was alone in the house with the guard only, so I run out and I did panic as it happened for me at the first time I didn’t know what was that I had no idea so I was running to the gate seeking for help that I’m dying I did climb the gate and went down after that the panic went off and I felt normal.

That week it was my last week before I was going to Europe for business, the next thing happened after a week the same symptoms came back feels like dizzy and again I started to panic.

And after that I never stopped, well the panic attacks stopped but then the other symptoms anxiety feeling weak having headache feeling mood less it continued, at time I had to google everything what’s panic attacks, what’s depression, anxiety and all sorts, canceled my trip resigned to my job closed my business.

And here I’m now now I know what I have and yes It isn’t bad like last year, I have accepted all the symptoms and living with them, now that I want to restart my business again and it makes me happy 😃,

And I’m taking your advice thanks again, I mean yes I’m still young and no hurry,

I just want to encourage everyone out there that I do hope that depression can be cured whether naturally or by medication.

As how many experts have talked about it and I believe.

“Life isn’t always beautiful but is a beautiful ride “

[saracar]

I think everyone is different. I think having a baby does change your personality. I got postpartum depression/mixed episode when my daughter was about 1 1/2. You need a good support system. My daughter is 17. Her mental health is good. Her dad was very steady and kind. I don’t depend on her but I am grateful she is here right now. I think my answer is yes, if you think you are healthy enough to put child before yourself. And you need support system. Kids are a ton of work.

[Likeabadstorm]

Having a child is a huge responsibility. It will change your life a lot. For me I was ok and fine before and my issues of anxiety and head pressure with neurological episodes didn’t start til after having my child. Maybe four years after having my child is when the episodes started and head pressure etc. So I can’t really say what may happen, except your hormones will fluctuate and everyone is effected differently. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.