WHAT AM I😥😩

[Catgay]

Am greatly growing to be very angry , stressed ,depressed ,full of anxiety , fear to lose anyone, my hands lose control and I just want to hurt, punch walls, get pissed over nothing but everyone thinks am just acting I am losing control over me getting unwanted mood changes

[Hidden]

It'll be alright I'm sure! Whatever it is going on sounds awful but I believe you'll be fine in the end. If you need to talk I'll be here

[Catgay in reply to Hidden]

I will be very glad since I feel abandoned by my own people and friends.Am highly failing to concentrate and am getting extremely depressed yet I have to ontake my books

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry. Please don't be afraid to call emergency if you need to. You deserve to feel good.

I'm on a medicine that is causing me to feel strange/not myself, so I am going to get with my doctor and start weaning off it. Conclusion: it might be worth checking out whatever medicines (if any) you take.

[Catgay in reply to Hidden]

And also am feeling so nervous, stressed and failing to focus yet I have books to take on

[Hidden in reply to Catgay]

Hi again! What books do you need to read? Are you in school and need to study? I'm just trying to understand what your situation is.🙂

[Catgay in reply to Hidden]

Yap am in school and need to study ma books

[Catgay in reply to Hidden]

Am not on drugs and have never visited a doctor becoz pipo who could take me to hospital think it's me forcing myself to be like that

[prisonmike7]

about a month ago, i had about a month and half where i was the exact same way. everything upset me, my anxiety was on ten. my boyfriend is a recovering addict and i was the one to find him overdosing on the sun porch one morning. we were supposed to go to the zoo and he stopped responding in the morning. he had been over sleeping everything and just seemed not there in the present. nobody had an idea that he was using. it was probably the worst day in my life. he has been sober for almost 2 years, but that fear an anxiety doesnt leave me. im always afraid i will lose him.

i just shut down that past month and half. i didnt want to do anything around the house, i didnt want to be bothered by anyone, yet i wanted love and affection. i was pushing people away for not understanding what i needed, but didnt feel like explaining what was wrong. we finally sat down and had a talk and i just let it all out. i just broke down and we had a really good talk. obviously there are definitely still those days, but after having that talk i atleast feel like i can express it to him, he understands, and we work through it!

so maybe talk to the people that are seeing this. maybe in talking to them and explaining how you feel, they can better understand and be there for you!

wishing you peace and happiness!

[Catgay in reply to prisonmike7]

Thank you so much... I have tried your advice today and I kinda feel gud but I lately felt misery and

[Catgay in reply to Catgay]

Am again me and I see no much minding by the pay I told coz they see it as bruises they know me as a weak thing and that all that is part of ma being weak wic angers me more ....they smile about me all time and they see it as a normal situation not worth worrying about

[prisonmike7 in reply to Catgay]

there are definitely days are even times throughout the day that i doubt puting my faith in others and second guess if i should have said something about how i feel or whats going on with me. i think it just gets easier the more you do it. i really struggle with not wanting to feel like a burden, especially because everyone comes to me to talk. i want to be strong. but we are people too and we also deserve to have our feelings heard. here if you ever need to talk!

[Ubud2021]

TOUCHÉ!!

I myself have had a similar feeling very recently. I myself don’t want to hurt anything, but breaking things definitely sounds like a good time. When I have this feeling like “I must destroy”, I take all my saved wine bottles, (I keep them for this reason) or glass/ceramic things I have no use for, and go somewhere very secluded, bring a broom and dust pan, maybe a bat, some safety goggles, and start screaming out what I feel/need to scream, and smash things. Just go crazy. Get it all out!! Of course, clean it up after for the safety of other, as well as animals and our planet. But it’s such a huge relief!!! Yeah- I may sound as if I am clinically insane or I am sadistic or dangerous to others saying these things, but I am not. Just sometimes we all need to yell and vocalize how we feel- which in a normal thing to do. Also, sometimes we all need to break something. -which is normal as well, as long as you’re not just mindlessly breaking ones sentimental things or others things. If ya get what I mean.

Like in my area, we have a place where you can go into and just break things for as long as you need to! (Glass, ceramics, basically anything breakable) and they give you tools you can break them with such as hammers or bats and so on, or if you prefer just throw it at the wall. They call it a form of therapy. Which it is just that. Of course you wear safety goggles, (which is excellent) and are in your own soundproof room. It’s very cool! It’s meant for people to find relief, and for those people who have pent up emotions, or just feel like they need to break things. It is open for the public.

So, I don’t know if you will try any of this, or even think about it, but for reassurance, it is completely normal to need to scream, and okay to break things of your own as you please. Just if it is of sentimental value, make sure you take awhile to think about if you truly want to destroy it or not. Because you’ll never get it back.

Hope you find SOME WAY to relieve your anger. I’m currently “back at home” due to the pandemic, so I cannot just scream out my frustrations, and my car battery died, so I cannot go for a drive and scream at the top of my lungs. So for now I’ve been doing meditations and I’m coloring curse word coloring pages right now. And the curse word coloring pages have been awesome for me.

Keep in contact with a therapist and a psychiatrist just in case, to help ease these symptoms for you if right now you may not be able to manage these intense feelings on your own.

[Catgay in reply to Ubud2021]

Thank yu

[Catgay in reply to Ubud2021]

Am trying it all but I skip a day not angry but so silent and from nowhere am in air with bitter sour anger ......Everyone gets scared of me at that time and I nervously can't control it ,am really hurting maself and the people I love and hating life 😥😥😥😭😭

[Ubud2021 in reply to Catgay]

I get the feeling. It’s happened pretty recently to me, as a few other times. It’s best (at least for me) to not keep silent, but express your anger in healthy ways. That way, you don’t feel like you are silencing yourself, leaving all these pent up, bottled up emotions. Color, paint, draw, scream your favorite songs, go on a walk i.e. removing yourself from the situation that triggered your anger, and removing yourself from those around you. Expressing anger in physical ways help the most, I think. So whether it’s going on a walk, punching a punching bag or a pillow, screaming inside your pillow, or going somewhere secluded to break your own useless things, are great physical ways to release this anger. Of course, make sure you are alone, or go to your room and shut the door and punch your pillow, or whatever it is you want to do.

Anger makes us very bitter. Not only feeling bitter about ourselves, but family and friends, even the world. So, if you need to let it out, then by all means, do it. (In a healthy way). You’ll feel a sense of release after. This way, you will think more logically and can come up with ways to make your situation better with other skills. 💕

[Catgay in reply to Ubud2021]

But I will keep trying😩😩😏I will insist so that I be me and thanks for acknowledging ma consent

[Island2]

Hi catgay I would highly recommend to read the book "Feeling Good" by Dr.David Burns advised by my doctor to read.It has very good skills that teach to cope with those things you experience. You are going to be better once you start to apply those skills.The solution is to rule your mind with good analyzing skills. I hope I was helpfull.

[Hidden]

Hi Catgay.. have you tried writing down what is winding you up? All this anger suppressed is part of the reaction you sense when others think it is something alien they don't understand. Is it because you can't concentrate on your reading or make it stick in your memory. That is frustrating. Is it because you feel under pressure to get good grades when your world is feeling precarious? Guess you are not alone during this period of uncertainty. At least keeping away from the virus is protecting you. I wear a scarf which pulls up over my nose and mouth. It's a sports bandeau which doubles up as a head and neck scarf. Take care.😸🙅