I am terrified

[Riley2001]

I am taking a trip tomorrow to attend a memorial service for my uncle who passed on. I have so much anxiety I don't know if I can make it. I have anticipatory anxiety. I am afraid of completely losing control. I really want to go. I am so tired of being afraid all of the time. I have no one to talk to so I will just come here. I take Ativan and I am waiting for it to take effect. I pray but it does not seem to help. I feel so alone. This cannot go on. I don't know what to do.

[Agora1]

Dear Riley2001, I am sorry for the loss of your uncle. I understand

the fear in wanting to go to the memorial service and yet anticipatory

anxiety makes you feel as if I can't. In your mind, the doubts and fear

become more than real without even being there. I can't tell you all the

events I missed in my life because of my anxiety/agoraphobia. embarrassing

to say the least and yet I hid behind my fears. Only you can make that decision

tomorrow. Might you be able to go with someone else? It's difficult to put

all our trust in a pill in order to attend a normal event in life. But I hear you.

When does Anxiety let go of our emotions and allow us to make our own

decisions w/o fear of losing control? Whatever you decide tomorrow, know

that we will be behind you. No judgement, no ridicule but only kindness

and caring in understanding what it's like and how we are not alone xx

[Riley2001 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. I feel like I need to go for my confidence and to walk through the fear. I need to get away from here for a minute. I will see how I feel in the morning. Blessings to you.

[Agora1 in reply to Riley2001]

More power to you Riley..we know that hiding isn't the best decision

One step at a time. Please let us know how you do. Peace be with you xx

[BlueAgave]

Just know Riley2001, you are not alone. If you go tomorrow that's great, if you don't that's okay too. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen. I've been there and still struggling to travel, but I've decided that right now I am in control. I wish for your anxiety to subside and that you feel a sense of calm soon.

[catsrock]

I'm very sorry about your uncle. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you are at peace with the decision. I had an aunt who passed away in January and I couldn't attend the service because I couldn't afford to make the trip. I was able to watch it online though. Maybe your uncle's will be online and you can participate that way?