Anxiety

[Confused000]

Hi.

I don't really have breathing issues, but a lot of the times when I have to talk to someone I feel like I can't breathe.

For example if a friend calls me, I'll barely say something in the conversation because everytime I say a word I feel like I'm being left out of air.

I think for most people even the ones suffering from anxiety, this would happen if they are in situations where they would have to interract with strangers or people they are not really comfortable with. But to me, this happens even when talking to my closest friends. Like when I see the phone calling, my heart starts pounding and I gen this really weird feeling in my whole body and I just feel like I can't. It's quite affecting me.

But still, sometimes I don't have this problem. I actually can be very social at times. And it's quite killing me inside that as much as I'd try to control myself, when I'm put in that situation I feel controlless if it makes sense??

Also sometimes messages feel like a challenge. Like I get a message from someone and this makes me really excited for whatever reason but than I realise that I don't know what or how to answer and this makes me really anxious so I just avoid answering and using my phone until I feel like I can answer. It's weird because I love talking to those people, but interracting seems to drench me out of energy, of joy, probably because during that I'm way too anxious and overthinking.

Any advice on this?

[Agora1]

Confused000, that is a very common fear and symptom of anxiety. We tend to stay

in our own little safe bubble. When the phone rings, it's an interruption of our already

anxious mind. We pick up the phone and immediately start shallow breathing. It's an

automatic response to our social anxiety. You may like people and are caring but get

highly nervous that you might not know what to say. What if (there's those 2 words again)

you need to get off the phone but don't know how to politely end the call.

The more you think about this the harder the breathing can get. I remember talking with

my mother, my sister or a friend and my body's response couldn't distinguish this from

an intense feeling. Learning proper breathing can help but needs practice. While allowing

others to talk, we need to relax our shoulders and slow down our breathing. There is still

the issue of holding the phone sooo tight that your hand falls asleep.

This all has to do with our over sensitized nervous system. Anything can set it off in a

moments notice. As for getting a message on line, that has never been an issue for me.

Give yourself some time to respond and know that it isn't expected of you to have the perfect answer or a lengthy one (like mine are) lol

Avoidance of the phone and messages only makes the fear grow. Little steps at a time

will get you to feel more comfortable. xx

[Confused000 in reply to Agora1]

I am so so sorry, I just realised I never replied to your comment. Please just know that this was very helpful and I'm so grateful that you took your time to share your thoughts.

May not feel like it as I literally took months to answer but I am really thankful for your response.

Wish you well!

[Agora1 in reply to Confused000]

xx

[Hidden]

Agora. What a very helpful reply. Also has helped me immensely as I am the same as confused, when it comes to texts etc. what a gem you are 😊.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks fragile58, we learn so much about our mind/body connection by

living through it. Stay safe my friend. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thankyou. Agora. You also ❤️