COVID-19 is working to make my depression worse than ever

I have major depressive disorder and was hospitalized for it for about a month this past January. I'm currently on medication that doesn't seem to be working and was actually a little grateful for having an appointment to see a psychiatrist and psychologist next week to help with medication and talk therapy especially since the hospitalization didn't work and my thoughts of hurting myself are increasing. Now, the issue with the coronavirus is making things worse. Both doctors have called to cancel the appointments and they have no idea when they will be rescheduled. A voice in my head is telling me that I'm just destined to forever suffer with MDD and I don't deserve to get any help, that's why my appointments were cancelled. It's almost like the universe is saying "screw you, you deserve to suffer". I don't know what else to do, things seem so hopeless and my depression is getting a lot wose.

[bonkers65]

I was supposed to see a psy. doctor last week for the first time and maybe get on some meds that might help, but they called me and cancelled but rescheduled me for this Fri. I wouldn't be surprised if they called again. Now is not a good time to have medical issues.

[Hidden in reply to bonkers65]

My doctor called also and cancelled. They told me they have no idea when they will reschedule the appointment. I feel so emotionally and mentally frustrated, tired and hopeless.

[Daz2310]

I’ve been through the same I’m struggling mentally hang on in there

[Hidden]

My therapist just started doing sessions over the phone. I had one today and it helped. Maybe inquire at your drs?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm glad to hear that phone sessions are going well for you. They won't do phone sessions for me. Said that I have to have face to face sessions. They also don't do sessions via Skype or anything.

[English_Patient]

I just bought a microphone for my pc as I have a feeling an awful lot will be carried out via conferencing and my pc keeps telling me I don't have a microphone. I had a course of 20 therapy sessions due to start in April/May, which look like they won't be happening any time soon. Perhaps this is the path these organisations will take, I don't know, I hope so.

Events in life can make us feel worthless and these post trauma events serve to reinforce those feelings, hang in there, you've survived so far and that takes strength, perseverance and endurance, these are not qualities easily acquired, we, through life's experiences, have acquired them sooner than most and are in a seriously good position to help others and thereby help ourselves.

Try distraction, my favourite thing to do is colouring in, I know that sounds very 'young' but it completely distracts all other thoughts and feelings and when I look at what I've achieved, it feels good.