I give up!

[SSMA]

My parents are my major support system. My father is my feminist champion who's currently putting me down for everything in my life. He is invalidating every single experience of mine. He has put down my menstrual pain and discomfort. He is currently exhibiting the most toxic traits towards me and it has incapacitated me and has made the vulnerable most in my entire 27 years life. I feel helpless. The only person am dependant on has left me to fend for myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to handle this. I am clueless. I am stuck and in the dumps.

[hurtingheart1]

Oh no sooo sorry to read this & heart goes out to you💞 I hav dealt with wayyy too much of this invalidating and toxic type reactions to my pain, anxiety and depression so sadly I do relate!! All I’ve so far been able to struggle through yet more pain to learn is that our parents are imperfect humans as well and go through things themselves they can make bad mistakes and really hurt us and since we naturally love them, look to them for guidance support, love and direction it hurts more and can be all more devastating when they aren’t there for us way we need soo badly or they confuse us or change on us!!?? I’m still learning to deal and just literally hav been dealin with maybe similar pain and scars from mayb things like you described recently so tryin also to cope and I don’t seem to have the tools with which to do this with either so??? But you’re not alone if it brings any comfort I hope?☺️🌻💕

[SSMA in reply to hurtingheart1]

Thank you hurtingheart1. I can relate to where you are coming from. Things are much better currently. We could sort it out.

[Dolphin14]

Do you live with your father?

You are an adult maybe you need to set some boundaries with your dad.

[SSMA in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you Dolphin14. Things are much better. We sorted it out.

[Dolphin14 in reply to SSMA]

I'm so happy to hear that.

[Poodie]

Hi SSMA.

I am sorry you are going through this. I can understand how you feel. I went to a school where it was mandatory to live on campus just to get away from my family.

You are 27. Do you have a job. ? Are you living in the same house ? Can you ask to move in even temporarily with the person who left ?

Sometimes toxic people will stop, back off if you set a limit even verbally. You almost have to do that if you stay there. Have you tried that?

Do not give up. Get yourself some more support and figure this out.

Good luck. Please post again.

[SSMA in reply to Poodie]

Dear poodie. Thank you for your reply. Currently am not working. Here I meant dependent on my father. That he behaving this way is leaving me to fend for myself. Things have sorted. My father was the first one to realise what happened albeit a couple of hours later but then we sorted stuff.

[SSMA]

Thank you folks for coming in with your words. I did have an anxiety attack on the day. I have recovered now and feel much better. Things are looking better. Sending my love to all of you.

[CanuckAnon]

What does putting you down for things mean? I imagine that you have had menstrual discomfort before? What have you done in the past? How is your dad supposed to champion this monthly occurrence? What are these toxic traits that have incapacitated you?

Your dad is financially, emotionally and physically responsible for you at 27? What exactly are you responsible for? Curious is all... I understand anxiety is hard to deal with but part of managing it coping is acknowledging how your reactions to situations affects others... to be able to look out beyond ones self...

Maybe you could take a hot bath which will help calm you down, help manage menstrual discomfort, perhaps change your mindset? Get outside and take a walk in fresh air is always good for stretching muscles, getting endorphins in bloodstream and good for you.

I think that you should try not to be so hard on your dad... I am sure you do not react to things in ways he would like so maybe try harder not to react so much when he does not champion your feminist ideology the way you think he should?

You live in a country where you are free, equal, have same rights and responsibilities as a man. You have same access to anything as a man.... equality is a good thing to have achieved! So needing your dad to validate your discomfort... how does this fit into feminism? Curious...