I give up.

Ive been dealing with the next step in my life for a while now and I'm done. Its making me so anxious and stressed. I am graduating this semester and then I'm on my own. I'm not ready for work yet (considering why I had to quit last time) and my mom wont understand she says I should go on a disability then and never get over my anxiety and it hurts me. I'm not making this up and I wish I could work without a problem but it seems impossible. She always has a rude comment on anything in my life but that's the only person I can get life advise from. This time I ask her for help I'm not sure why and she said to not worry yet but at 18 shell be yelling at me for rent and or I'll be in post secondary stressing there. My councilors want me to go to school and get out of the house asap but I cant handle living on my own it's so stressful. I'm not ready to be an adult and I just wanna end my life. Everything is weighing down and at my most vulnerable and helpless state right now. Living for myself is one thing but surviving for everyone else is aggravating and tiring.

I filled out a college application and couldn't send it. I'm not sure if I'm ready and I think it may be a while before I am but that means I have to get a job now and with covid it's hard. Not to mention I only have my learner's and am scared of driving for many reasons but i know i will have to at some point. Can anyone help me?

[Worriedman19]

I hope this reply finds you well. I am sorry for all the issues you are having growing up it's very hard to find someone to give you positive advice. But you can do this I am a firm believer in good the things come to good people. You are a very strong person by expressing your feelings and thoughts. I truly believe you can do whatever you put your mind too I personally have dealt with mental issues for over a decade it is a struggle but life is worth it. Just take it one day at a time and make you own path in life.

[Hidden in reply to Worriedman19]

Im at a loss for words.. Thank you so much for that reply. It means a lot❤

[Worriedman19 in reply to Hidden]

Your very welcome

[Hidden]

Sometimes it can be hard to get support from family. They don’t always understand how our anxiety affects the way we live. My mom gets like that with me sometimes too and it makes me feel worse then I already did when she rudely voices her opinion. She speaks to me as if I’m just lazy and I don’t care about my life but the reality is.... is that it’s just a lot harder for us and I’m so desperate for her to understand that. I also have bad anxiety about driving and i have refused to go certain places if they were too far. It’s a problem I have to work on as well. I have moments where I ask myself “is this life really worth it?” ....but then I think of everything g I want in life. I want to get married, I want to be a mother....I want to be successful. I’m not giving up just because those things seem nearly impossible for me when I look at where I’m out right now. Dont give up! Be strong! And if you need someone to talk to, you can always send me a message.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much❤ when I try to talk to people they ignore me and talk about themselves or they cant relate. Thank you for understanding me and I'm so happy to hear I'm not alone. I wish you luck on your journey and I'm always here for you as well.