i give up

[ashtonbeavers]

i just need to get something off my chest. so the doctors told me i could die any day because of the medicine i overdosed on. plus, they think i have schizophrenia because i always here voices and i always feel a presence beside me. like it’s stalking me. i just feel like giving up is the best choice for me. i mean there’s not really a point for me here. all i do is sleep, take meds, and be depressed. i just hate myself and my life )):

[Avidreader9559]

Hi, ashtonbeavers. Thank you for choosing to talk about what is going on. Sometimes doctors are right and sometimes doctors are wrong. I think all people have a purpose and are here for a reason. Is there anything that gives you hope, anything that you can look forward to? Are there things you like to do and share with other people? Do you have close friends and family you can rely on and spend time with? I hope you find a way to hold on and to have hope. I will be praying for you.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Avidreader9559]

thankyou! and i count on God. he’s the only reason i’m not dead yet. i’ve been reading the book of job and it’s helped me but i still feel like God messed up with me even though he made each of us for a reason. it’s just hard sometimes and i don’t know what to do

[Avidreader9559 in reply to ashtonbeavers]

God changed me from the inside out. He can do the same for you. He didn't mess up with you. He knew you from the time He created you. He knew what you would face. He loves you so very much. You are worth the cost of sending His Son to earth to save you. He promises that He will never leave or forsake us. He promised to walk through the shadow of the valley of death with us. He offers redemption and restoration. I know it is hard. Spiritual battles are so very hard because we can not see what we are fighting, but God is bigger than anything we face. I love the book of Job because it gives me so much hope. This year God gave me the scripture from Job to hold onto while I was going through transition. He is our strength when we are at our weakest. Allow Him to work through you so that others can see His power and want to know Him, too.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Avidreader9559]

i will! thankyou so much! i’ve been getting closer to god the last couple months since the last time i tried to kill myself. he’s helped me a lot and showed me that i’m worth living here even if i don’t feel like it. i’m also going to help kids in Thailand learn about god next year. but thankyou again for everything ! <3

[Avidreader9559 in reply to ashtonbeavers]

You are welcome. If you ever need to talk, I can listen. If you need encouragement, I know some scripture that God gave me when I needed the encouragement that I can share. How awesome that you are going to teach kids about God!! Blessings to you! God is awesome. I am so glad that you have experienced that yourself. Keep fighting. Life is always worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Avidreader9559]

thankyou! and i have verses i read when i get sad and depressed. my favorite is 1 peter 2:9. i also love john 13:7. but thankyou again for everything!!! i appreciate your kind and caring personality!

[Avidreader9559 in reply to ashtonbeavers]

Wow!! God gave me 1 Peter 2:9 when I was at my lowest! How awesome is that. Oh and in John. Did you notice that in chapter 13 when everyone wants to know who is going to betray Jesus, He protects Judas and doesn't out him to everyone. Once I realized that, I knew that if Jesus protected Judas who was going to betray Him, then there was no doubt in my mind that Jesus would protect me, too. I am just trying to share what God has given me. Life is hard, but we can encourage others and help them to walk this life too.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Avidreader9559]

that’s certainly true. thankyou so much !