Hi I’ve suffered with this for a while now I go through perks of it depending what’s going on in my life.
I look around and I get overwhelmed by a lot of stuff I’ve got it’s got to point where I now buy stuff and sell it on eBay when I’m bored I shop when I’m depressed I shop I’ve tried the whole deleting apps and cutting cards up but it Dosent work for me I always find a way round it if I cut my cards I will ask someone else to buy if I delete apps I re download them it’s viscous but sometimes I look around I think I don’t need all this and sometimes I hide my spending cause I know it’s out of order I’f I look round my house I’ve got a cupboard full of Easter stuff a cupboard full of Christmas and birthday presents and I will think when am I going to spend ive got hobbies but then I think how can I spend on this hobby what can I buy I don’t think I have a medical condition but that’s just me saying so I’ve seen people who are real hoarders and I don’t think I’m one of them but my house is full of mine and the kids mainly clothes and toys and my sons is full of electronics I’m grateful and mindful there are people without I go to charity shops and drop of there but I want to stop spending like this how do I stop I don’t know my income and out but I know I spend more than I earn and my partner gives me money I think where do I even get this money I’m not in debt or anything just don’t like that I act like this
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I spend a lot on myself but also on my dogs, family, and friends.
The best advice I can give to you (and to myself) is this - sit down and figure out your finances. Know where you stand- Down to every penny.
Write down a list of monthly fees: groceries, gas, utilities, mortgage/rent, household items, etc...
And just enough to cover those. Not a penny more. Jot that amount down and highlight it.
Then give yourself a limit on the extra money that’s left over. Save 50% of that and let yourself spend 50% of that. Or whatever you feel is right for you.
When money comes in- set that highlighted amount to the side and DO NOT allow yourself to touch it.
If you don’t have many expenses and are well off, maybe find something you wish to save up for. Like a new piece of furniture that needs replacing or for a vacation. Highlight the amount needed to save up. And calculate how many months it will take to save for it. Set that amount to the side every month.
Set a pic of your goal as your phone background. Make notes around the house. Keep it in your mind as a REMINDER. You will be more inclined to spend less and save, looking forward to whatever it is.
It is important to REWARD yourself after a month of healthy smart spending. Allow yourself one nice thing of a reasonable price as a way of saying “good job” to yourself.
Most importantly, REPEAT this . Every month. With no end. It will become quicker and easier as you get to know your monthly limits.
May need to adjust depending on the season...summer bills vs winter bills. Holidays and Birthdays.
Idk about you, but I definitely do NOT need to be shopping so much. I am 25 and work full time, just bought a house and have two dogs to care for. But yes I am also an Amazon addict... I just go on there and look when I have free time sometimes- I’m not a big fan of social media so shopping is my phone time. I’m always curious to see what the newest things they come out with or useful items for the house. Lately I’ve just been adding things to categorized lists on my account for later purchase.
If I were you, I would go through everything that is stored and not of use anymore. Organize it into groups and hold a garage sale. My mom and dad made over 2k from a garage sale they just decided to do for fun a couple years ago!
Yeah I have got rid of loads of stuff but it keeps coming back in that’s the thing I sold £300 worth of stuff last month I just find it hard cause I don’t do social media either if I do that makes me spend more cause people life’s look so appealing I want to wear what they do get Botox like they do or whatever else lol it just makes me jealous going on their cause I don’t have that money but want to .and like I said I’m getting money from somewhere cause I’m not in debt but now my hours have lowered due to I’ll health I can’t keep this up x
I can relate too its really frustrating I say Im not going to spend but then something will happen to bother me and Ill find myself in a shop spending a fortune on things I could do without! It doesnt help when Im saving for a house but good tips from ZenaXXV. I think recognising its a problem is a start Ive just thought more seriously about it recently so hopefully ill be more conscious about it x
Thanks for commenting I don’t know where to start when it comes to managing anything as I know my partner will cover certain things even sometimes I’ll say my balance is looking low can I have some money transferred it Dosent look enough it’s like I need a set amount in and when it’s not there I’m like what’s going on and my partner will say how many parcels are coming when he’s not here I buy more cause He can’t tell me off it’s bad really
I have compulsive spending addiction issues. I have attended a few 12 step recovery meetings for spenders called Debtors Anonymous. I also bought a book by Jerrold Mundis called How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously. It’s currently collecting dust 🤣 I did, however, manage not to use my credit card for over a year and pay off my credit card debt.
It’s a slippery slope. I love a good bargain and I love spending!
Oh yeah...i have been a shopaholic all my adult life; self-help books and treating it as an addiction, like any other, helped me understand the reasons behind it. It’s not easy . It empties bank accounts, it contributes to personal bankruptcies, it destroys marriages, it creates unbearable guilt and self loathing ...Google books on shopping addiction...go on YouTube. It’s not easy to stop especially when money is still available in your home. ..
I have no savings or nothing for my future and I’ve still got this mans terrible advice who told me not to save for savings sake in my head and I know that’s when I stopped
When your hurting, people do this buying ,you think for a moment that’s it makes you feel better, but I know for a fact it doesn’t. I did it when my father died. Then realize when my friend husband dr, the Catholic Church gave her book, telling her what not do when someone you love dies, not to spend money, do not take it out on others for your loss. It can be other situations too. So look at the things your thinking of purchasing, day to yourself do you really need this, if have to, then go back look at it again, say the same thing, then you will realize that you wasting your money on something you don’t need, and that your not happy about something else.❤️
I already know it’s cause I’m not well and can’t do things with my children and I buy them stuff instead I do ask those questions but I always end up buying in the end it’s hard and as I said I’m not in debt I just wish I could save if I didn’t spend reckless I might have been able to afford a much needed operation but I can’t help it and I’ve no savings only a small amount which was supposed to be for a car years ago I now can’t drive because of illness
I wasn’t at all in debt myself either. Do you for your children, and yourself. Take in small steps, everytime you’ll get better ,not buying the things you or the kids don’t need, then have your operation to feel better, much ❤️
I wholeheartedly second the recommendation of Jerrold Mundis's book How to Get Out of Debt, How to Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously. It changed my life. I reread it at least every year. Mundis's techniques helped me repay all my debts and stop compulsive shopping and spending. There is also an organization called Debtors Anonymous that also has excellent techniques for stopping compulsive shopping. However, DA is a 12-step religious program so be aware of that. Nevertheless, DA has also been essential to my own recovery.
Yes,! I'm very bad about that. I order everything and book vacations. Then I end up sending everything back. And cancel it. That's not normal. For me anyway.
I can relate. For me it's my loneliness that drives me to buy stuff I don't need, I'm surrounded by stuff instead of people. Part of it is hoping that someone will notice my clothes and want to talk to me, I'm incapable of starting conversations so I want to stand out in the hopes of making a connection with someone. It's silly but it's part of why I do it.
I have the OCD version of this buying sickness. I feel bad, buy something that only raises my happiness temporarily. Once it wears off I return the purchase, feel like crap again and start it all over again. I get overwhelmed with the frequent purchases and my anxiety shoots up higher than before but I get my fix in and the anxiety is reduced until my next needed purchase. It's like a Ferris wheel but I can't get off. And the purchases aren't used just looked at until I lose interest. Some meds help but nothing substantial.
I was spending, after losing my mum I've got depression. But I've got in debt, it's mad cos none of the stuff you buy make you feel any better. I've now got opposite, i can't stop getting rid of stuff. Keep looking around for anything that can go. I think it's all a coping mechanism, maybe if you really start getting rid of it you will stop buying like I have. Good luck.
Like I said I’ve already got rid of stuff but it comes back in it’s like I’m going round in circles and if I sell stuff I will think well that makes up for it I don’t think it will get better as I’ve had this since I was young but when I was younger I could work all hours I can’t do that now due to illness
I took the time to read all the exchanges to and from you. You are convinced that you cannot use self control. The answer isn’t likely to come from outside yourself. But the answer is in you. You sound scared. Are you? If so, Is it the illness that scares you? If not scared how do you feel?
Yes I know it’s about my self and no I’m not scared that’s a strange word to use as I’m not scared of anything and not a word I would use to describe my current state I’m just left in limbo in regards to my health as I’m awaiting surgery I’m not scared of that more apprehensive and can’t wait to get my life back together I’m not scared of my illness it’s incurable but I have to manage it and I’ve accepted it there’s a lot more to it though than my I’ll health but I would end up posting a long story I’ve got a lot of things going on I couldn’t fit into a post
I probably feel more angry at myself And upset as a lot of people don’t plan for illness and it’s impacted on my financial state I was in the process of trying to increase my income and I was on the right path and then it hit me I have no insurance or savings or the likes if I had put money away or had some kind of insurance I would have been on some kind of path to recovery or that’s what I would have hoped we never know for sure if an op would make me better even if it does it’s temporary.I’ve known a while I have issues with spending but I go in phases depending what I’m going through.its not just that I’ve thought about money a lot lately and how I should be saving more for my kids future for one .im very much aware I’m not the only one in this position and some people really do live from paycheck to pay check but I do feel a bit guilty for that and sad for myself that I have no self control and can’t drop my kids off without thinking of going into a shop x
I certainly didn’t plan for the medical problems that struck my life about four years ago. Do you know what it is about shopping that pulls you in there for comfort? Or is it distraction. How does shopping affect the anger you have? Is there a way to let go of the anger?
I just feel happiness when I shop from start to finish if I don’t find what I’m looking for I’ll buy something to fill that void it’s hard to explain I may get home and say I’m taking it back or I’ll be really happy I got what I wanted.then I’ll be happy a while and it will start again when I’m next out.at the minute theirs no way to let go of the anger I have because all the problems I have are out of my control that’s the only way I’m managing I’m only 34 and I’ve got problems what probably on average a much older person would have in their life time
Happiness is such a great feeling. Wanting to feel that way sounds very healthy. I hesitate to suggest any course of action. You seem to be prepared to say something won’t help or that you can’t do it. Is there one thing that makes you almost as happy as shopping?
Would you be willing to consider that any sense of control you have experienced has been something you imagined? This may not be comforting; if you can accept it, it will be helpful. It is the main reason self-control is a manifestation of freedom in your life. We give away self-control when we say/believe we can’t do _________, fill in the blank.
I do that aswell i already go out so I do it in passing I’m not someone who isolates unless it’s from people by myself I have to take my kids to school but I go online aswell I even pin interest
I’ve stopped before when happy and it turned very minimal but I’m recognising that when I’m sad I can’t stop it Dosent matter what it is if I like it I have all the thought process but if it’s a bargain I will say well for that price
Well I went out today I did spend but had better thought processes not perfect but ok thanks for everyone what’s commented I don’t feel so alone with it now x
I may be different. I buy and then return daily. For me it's a tiring job. I have developed spreadsheets to record salespeoples work schedules. I am able to determine when to buy and to return based upon their schedule. It's a complicated excel spreadsheet that takes into several criteria. I am always fine tuning the programs and formulas. I showed my doctor this and he was dumbfounded. He never saw anything like this. In a sad but humorous way, I told him I was practicing to get better at excel. Can anyone relate to this behavior. My doctor is extremely worried about this and has consulted with other doctors. Nobody has an answer and I can't stop. A sarcastic and mentally ill friend said "what a great hobby". HELP!!!!!
Do you mean you schedule the return policy so you know when to return items?or when people actually work so you don’t look silly returning multiple items
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