Loneliness

Looking for suggestions on finding friends. I have 2 lovely great friends and did lose others with my depression and anxiety. They obviously were not friends. Any ideas to prevent loneliness.

[Tikirob]

Hey hi, I don’t have too many ideas but also lost lots of friends to mental health and I sometimes wonder about my decision to go separate ways. I started a class where I met some real nice people but most of our interactions are class related. With the exception of a couple of people in my life I spend lots of time by myself and miss having a group of friends. Sorry I couldn’t be helpful but I am glad you asked this question so I can follow the post to see what people’s suggestions are.

[Hidden in reply to Tikirob]

Hi Tikirob,

Actually you were very helpful. Anyone who takes the time to read your post and respond is awesome. Plus you lost friends too so I'm not alone. Thank you.

You got me thinking when you said you started a class..I've been thinking of starting a Meet Up group or a Next Door post but not sure what type. I thought maybe Coffee Time or Let's Chat..thinking maybe 2 hours or so..not quite sure yet.

Thank you 😊

[Tikirob in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! A meetup group sounds like a great idea. I will look in my area to see if there are any going on. I saw there was one for my disorder once but it was defunct unfortunately, but I’ll look to see if there is a book club or something maybe.

[Hidden]

Hi Gia,

I'm kind of in the same position.

Hmm.

My thing is I don't want to call someone when I'm depressed. (Do I have too much pride? I don't know. )

One family member has said "I'm always depressed" and another told me their daughter said "I always sound depressed". Maybe they were tired when they said it but I always remember these words and they keep me from reaching out.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I understand. I try to be upbeat when I call people. People don't know I'm depressed. Nobody. Only 1 cousin. I have a big family. My issues with losing friends was about a physical disorder they because it's pretty painful I had to cancel many times. Symptoms came on quick. I ran the support group in my state for years. People knew about my physical illness because I had many surgeries and people couldn't understand how my symptoms came on so fast. That coming from a friend I knew since the 7th grade and we're now 56 & 57. Same with others I knew a long time. They thought I was not wanting to be with them and they did not know about my depression. That was between my Therapist doctor and me. (And 1 cousin). I come from a very old fashioned traditional Italian family. To talk to me in person you'd not know I was depressed but likely anxious but I didn't keep people's time talking about it

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Maybe its a misunderstanding then, if they don't know about your depression and they are taking it personally (?)

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

No my family doesn't know. Some close friends did. I never cancelled for anxiety or depression that always helped being with friends. I think I stated above my issues with friends were about physical issues. Pain physical pain they knew about but because I never cancelled they assumed I didn't want to be with them.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sorry Gia7, I misread what you wrote. I hope you get relief from your physical symptons and have success on finding new friends.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sorry

[enigmaticide]

With the current health crisis and social distancing, socializing can be shockingly difficult. Feel free to direct message me some time, as I suspect we might be able to hold interesting conversations.

[Hidden in reply to enigmaticide]

Thank you 😊

[Elliott_Woods]

I'm in the same boat to be honest. I'm actually wondering the same...

All I can say is that if you need support, there are people here on this site ❤️ I hope you will soon find something to help with the loneliness. I understand how hard it can be when you lose people do to having problems and such, infact... I just lost someone who was very close to me, which is why I'm back on the site at the moment. Quite a few people actually. It's saddening and painful. I totally relate to this ❣️

Sending you a big hug! If you need it ☺️

[Hidden in reply to Elliott_Woods]

Thank you Hugs back

[Hidden in reply to Elliott_Woods]

I lost a lot too I hear you. It's hard

[Hidden]

It sure is! I keep busy as much as possible in the house. Can't go anywhere. I live on the coast and the beaches are closed.

[RecreateMyself]

Hi, I can relate. I’ve pushed ever friend away and am totally isolated from everyone. Wish I had friends to call.

[Hidden in reply to RecreateMyself]

I seem to have a knack for doing that too. It's like I'll push you away before you hurt me and leave.

[Hidden]

I live 20 min from the beach. It's all closed off inc the seawall because of people gathering during the Governor's ordanance that people stay 6 feet apart and not to be in large groups so these folks ruined it. I can drive down but that's it. I'm sure she'll open them May 31 the date they open for the season.

[Hidden]

Thanks!!