Happy update i guess

[Kevin160]

Its beeen so so so long since i posted something uppy and happy

Time really heals whather you try to or not , it heals all types of wounds, i have been trying to take all advices here and from my therapist and for the first time in many weeks , i woke up feeling refreshed , not scared , and the whole day my obsessive/scary thoughts just feel like thoughts , not a possible reality

The thing that calmed me down most was realizing that when i was overthinking about my fears , they werent happening , they felt like my fears were happening and coming true , and the posts i read here really got me , but after realizing that i dont feel anything bu sympathy for the bad things , but I DONT SUFFER THE SAME JUST BY READING IT ..

I knew that but i just kept overthinking until i realized i am in total control and im ok , the anxiety comes every once in a while in a form of a small heart flutter , and then i remember that while im at my worst , i still wouldnt lose contro , we are mature ane aware of the world around us

For thise who dont know i have GAD and i read a post a while back about ocd urges that involved self harm and it made me panic so hard for weeks , i started to think i have the same thing eventhough i didnt have any urges i felt anxious aloot and convinces myself im going crazy and felt really scared ..i know its silly but the thing with anxiety assurance doesnt work

I kept showing myself i know right from wrong , and i feel ok, but i kept getting nightmares , anxiety attacks over it , then yesterday or the day before i remember being so so anxious and realized that i never even thought of the topic itself and i was panicking over the scenario in my head

Made me feel a bit peaceful and i can let go and relax a bit , i dont need to overworry to feel safe and have control , anxiety is not a brain , its not a safety net

I am feeling so so good right now , i am trying cbt techniques for anxiety and obsessive overthinking , also relaxation techniques because what helped me come to peace with everything was the fact that when i would have those rare moments of calmness i wouldnt feel anything about the topic , for example imwouldnt think of it and when i do i wouldnt feel the same way as the post i read , like i have the urges myself , which i dont , i started to tell myself i have control and gave myself actions , and said to myself you dont need to do this and you dont feel like you should , so why are you worrying about something that is totally irrational

Im still working through it its not easy because im also on isotretinoin which can cause and aggrevate anxiety and depression , never had depression too thats why imwas worried too much