So CBT homework has me up to unwarping my warpy thoughts.... was. So happy to get up to the objective part of analyzing feelings as I prefer facts over subjective messy feelings.
It’s the damn pressure of this day... or at least that is the excuse I’m allowing myself to believe. I have re-read a persons response to my last post about 50 times in past 2 days.
Positive thing is a crack in the shut door allowed a little light thru... now I’m wondering what the motivation was despite looking at it objectively and trying to coach myself down from bursting into tears but I’m struggling.... it’s too cold outside to get out although I’m considering snow pants over 3 layers, heavy coat over 2 layers and down vest and such just to get out of the house which has become to symbolize a prison of sorts for me.
I was having a great day until something thru me and got me anxious with negativity, jumping to conclusions in the extreme, minimising the positive feedback from crack in door moment earlier today and my horrid emotional reasoning. I know what I’m doing wrong or rather chucking the tools I’ve learned in 1 swoop but i’m Overwhelmed, emotionally drained and tired from trying so damned hard.
I keep repeating a line from response I mentioned earlier.... it didn’t happen overnight and will take just as long to fix more or less - I’m paraphrasing. I am just not buying what I’m being told... today of all days!
Well I’ve trued to distract myself and the house is getting to me... gonna bundle me and puppies in our winter gear and getting out of this warm prison of negative thoughts....
I just needed to get this out as I’m sure I’m jumping to conclusions etc but what if I’m not?