Struggling with obsessive thoughts (might be a trigger)

[Kevin160]

Its been weeks, feeling on and off , somedays feelings extremely calm but some days very anxious

Obessive over a trigger i got a few weeks back , overthinking hurting myself eventhough i dont feel depressed , just that my anxiety over the post involved self harm urges and i have been panicking for ever that my anxiety makes me shmpathize with this

I have GAD, i wasnt diagnosed with ocd but i have soke tendancies like body compulsions with my fingers etc.. some obsessive thougts and rituals but never ever thoughts about self harm and im not depressed , but as i said i got triggered about that post and since then i have been feeling unsafe ,

I know deep down i would never hurt myself but the fact that i can control my destiny scared me and i keep worrying that i will get psychotic and hurt myself , lose control , these irrational thoughts are very annoying

I dont want to worry anyone because i am not suicidal , i value life is a blessing and i want to experience so much , im not hopeless , i started therapy and i dont get very anxious anymore

And i started going days without any of these thoughts but when im very anxious i keep overthinking , and since i found out about self harm conpulsions im beyond terrified i will develop it , or already do , i dont know

Haha also a friend of mine went to a fortuneteller like as a joke, and casually told me she said that her or someone she knows is gonna die, nothing she said actually happened , but with the crap im in right now, im like , seriously.?!!

[mvillarreal]

I totally sympathize with you! I have this issue, only it involves harming others. I have a terrible fear that I will sexually assault someone or say something really disrespectful to someone that they will never be able to forgive. One thing that kind of helps (even though it might not take away the thoughts completely) is to remember that you're worried about it, and the fact that you're worried about it means that you're very unlikely to do it. I'm also wondering, is there something deeper behind this-like a traumatic event or anything? I ask because my fear of doing something bad and unforgivable to someone else has its roots in a bad experience I had once.

[Kevin160 in reply to mvillarreal]

I dont think in my case it results from a traumatic event , i mean maybe something in my troubled childhood but i dont recall anything specific, i have went almost whole last week not thinking about it but today it hit me very hard , i wasnt diagnosed with ocd but i tried home techniques of cbt and it helped a bit , but i just started to feel really low and not in a good place

Im sorry you feel this way too , but youre right that if we are this worried about it , its very unlikely we will do it , probably even more than someone who doesnt suffer this problem , because when im very calm i dont feel any obsessive thoughts making me think like i am urged to do something i truly dont , i keep remembering i have control over my body and regardless of all the panic , i know myself and i wont lose control

[newbie1956]

Hi Kevin,

Sorry you're worried about "irrational thoughts" again. But think about it.

Just the fact that you "know" they are irrational should be reassuring.

All you need is reassurance. It's something people with GAD really want.

In fact, EVERYONE needs reassurance. We all want to know things will work out for us. We want to know those we love also love us. Example, if we don't hear from someone who's special to us, we worry until we do. That's because of our ANXIETY.... the "triggers" can be anything.

If my grandchild rolls her eyes, i tend to think she doesn't care about me.

Isn't that short-sighted on my part! Many of us who are anxious & obsessed with certain ways of thinking can make ourselves very sad.

We need to change our negative thoughts to positive ones. Really, it's that simple, Kevin.

Turn your thoughts around by reading uplifting things or writing beautiful thoughts to remind yourself there are better days ahead for you. Be in control of your future. Pat yourself on the back for the progress you've made.

Yes, I'm convinced you will find the peace & happiness you deserve.

Love u

[Kevin160 in reply to newbie1956]

Thank you so much , this helped me calm down a bit

I was pretty calm this past week , the thoughts were not very scary and i felt so in control, but for some reason today it worsened l it was a very hectic and anxious day ,

I just keep overthinking my worst fear and relate them to everything i read or hear about , i dont know but hopefully it gets better

Sending you love and support as well ❤️❤️

[Lixus]

Hi,

I have been diagnose with an obsessive disorder and anxiety, I have obsessive disorder with my friendships, I'm scared that I will end alone and hurting them so they will get mad and leave me. I lost control over anxiety once and it made me to hurt myself a little bit. No with knifes, cuts or something but with my knuckles and I was really scared to lose control over myself and start hurting more to myself (I never thought about suicide) and what helps me is knowing the reason why I wanna hurt myself. I think that if you know the reason you think you wanna hurt yourself you can see how to anticipate so you would never do it, and if you don't know any reason is because is your anxiety talking so you need to calm yourself and think that you are taking control over your anxiety.

Good luck with all ✨

[Kevin160 in reply to Lixus]

Well i never ever thought of this until i read a post here that involved obsessive urges about self harm , made me scared since i tend to sympathize with people too much and start experiencing or feeling the same sense of hopelessness and terror

So i know thats the trigger and now i keep obsessing over the "what if" and i keep getting this fear of Losing control , and going crazy or developing the same problem , eventhough i am not depressed and i never felt suicidal , but since i have ocd tendancies and GAD. I kept overthinking what if my body compulsions become dangerous like the post i saw , and in a way overthinking it caused it to feel the same way i guess idk

[Lixus in reply to Kevin160]

If there is something I learn from my obsessive disorder is that is very difficult (and also I could say impossible) for us to become that which we are scared of, specially when we have someone special for us to tell our worries (friends, family, therapist, our diary, or even our dog, cat, etc).

If you have ocd I think the most important thing is:

-Take your time to look at your life and know your fears and what causes them.

-Tell someone you trust about your fears (apart from posting it here) you will be able to fight against your fears when someone is with you and supports you.

Just remember your life is under your control, you need to focus, accept your weaknesses and know that everything is gonna be alright