Completely done and no motivation

[sadiematthew]

I am 18 and just recently graduated from high school. All my friends moved away during the summer. In that summer i fell in love with the most beautiful girl, she was my everything, but sadly she was leaving for university as well. We spent ever day we could together for 2 1/2 months. I loved her with my whole heart and she left me. She moved up to Pittsburgh and is going to a university up there. She didn’t want to try a long relationship because she was scared of loosing me. I definelty wanted to try and had no problem coming up biweekly to see her. Shortly after her leaving i found myself getting sad each and every day so i turned to pot. I was smoking once and a while at that time, but i seemed to be needing, relying on it. Weed helped me when i thought no one else could. I was smoking heavy for 3 months straight and thought that it was the only thing that could help. I was also on anti anxiety meds which didn’t even help because i was smoking at the same time. Eventually i stopped smoking and am currently trying new medications but i find my self to not wanting to do anything. I used to be the king in high school, everyone knew me, everyone loved me. I was a loud, humorous, energetic jock. I haven’t felt like my self in months. I find myself not wanting to do anything. The friends i had that are still in town don’t want to hang out anymore or are too busy to hang out. I feel like my life has completely turned upside down. I have no friends. No one to talk to, just nothing. It’s hard sometimes to get out of bed but i go to college full time and work 35-40 hours weekly. Trying to bobble those two together os difficult.My work keeps me busy but i don’t see myself going anywhere in life. I’m sad, lonely and depressed and i just want my old self back. I have no motivations for anything. I hate it

[sadiematthew]

I try but i’m in my same hometown and i feel like i know everyone already. It’s just a small state college near my house, I just started a new job so i don’t know that much people there, but everyone’s got kids or is like 25+

[Hidden]

After graduating from High School, I felt very similar. My situation was I had the grades but my depression kept me from preparing for the application process because of money. I did go to school eventually but that's a different story.

You know I actually went back to the high school grounds after my graduation summer and walked around just to feel like nothing changed.

I just had to start anew. Life is change and it so sucks when we like where we were. Depression and anxiety made it very hard. Slowly very slowly I made connections. You know I had to create a way to draw others to me. I chose the hobbies I love most to bring like minded others together. You said you are a jock right? I loved swimming, hiking, and mountain biking and got a group going. Got one good friend then another. Then I expanded to other groups via networking from people I met.

My point is that you can get new connections via community around you to get your emotional needs met. It's important to off set the negative emotions your idle mind is going to be generating, telling you the wrong story of your life. Although Work life does take your time for basic living needs, you absolutely need your emotional needs kept up, plus the activities places you where you are going to meet new people. Some of them will be women and it may lead to the start of something new. This is not a replacement for your ex, this is just the natural steps of life, so if it happens even better. You are a man but you're more importantly a HUMAN, which means you can't let yourself isolate cause loneliness will push you there.

I hope I don't sound preachy. It's just, I have been there and I've suffered a lot . You don't have to suffer and you're not alone now that you've come here. If ever you start ruminating on negative thoughts that keep you from believing that you have no life, you can come here to seek someone. I am here and you're absolutely welcome to message me directly any time 24/7. Trust me man you got a lot of fun times a head to yet have. Cheers man.

[sadiematthew in reply to Hidden]

Trying to start slowly to accomplish small goals. I used to go to the gym and could play basketball for hours on end. I went to the gym today and played some ball and relaxed a little. Went home and mae a good lunch but now i’m just sitting around waiting till i have to go to work. Need to find new little things to do around my small town to keep me going.

[Hidden in reply to sadiematthew]

Well, I am sure there things you can get started there. Yeah you can start small because big things always start from small beginnings.