You're too "sensitive"

[Live4it20]

How do I deal with someone I live with who isn't considerate toward my emotions? All I hear is "Oh you're too sensitive or you have too many feelings".? It kind of upsets me because I'm human and yeah I may feel more so but women are more emotional then men and yeah I just feel kind of shitty living with someone like this and I can't move on yet. I've known him for years and he still doesn't really know me and puts me down sometimes as a joke. Then says I can't take a joke at times it's really depressing because I thought he was a positive influence. I've came along way with not taking things personal etc. But he never speaks on stuff like that..

[pavement]

I am no expert, but if living with this person is making you feel worse and the only reason you stay is because of obligation, then you should get out of that situation as soon as possible. If you wait a while, then you might guilt trip yourself into staying in a one-sided relationship. If he really cares about you, he should be able to understand you and not put you down. You could try to tell him your feelings to see how he will react to you. If he still doesn't care, you may want to consider abandoning your relationship.

Don't torture yourself for a toxic relationship. If he is always putting you down, then he isn't a positive influence.

I wish you a good week and best of luck with your relationship!

[Live4it20 in reply to pavement]

Thank you that kinda helped 😊

[dukenu]

You need to find someone who understands you and supports you. You don't have to leave, just find someone else that does. If someone doesn't understand this particular issue but is otherwise someone you love, then don't seek support from this particular person, but find it from someone else who does....its possible to have different people as friends for different reasons no? My two cents worth. Good luck

[Live4it20 in reply to dukenu]

True, but it's not that easy to find people to talk to or whatever. I feel alone although I'm technically not :/ 🤔

[sweetiepye]

Hello, One person can never dictate another's feelings. Our feelings belong to us and help to form the kind of person we become. Your friend seems controlling and emotionally abusive. Putting you down in a joking way for example. Try and give some thought to what kind of relationship you want......someone who supports you and has your back. ,or someone who tells you how you are supposed to be.

[Dolphin14]

Not everyone is going to understand this illness. I've been married for years. But I have changed a lot. Some of the things I used to think were funny I don't anymore.

I had to come right out and tell me husband. Now, in his defense this was new behavior that he had to get used to. It's not easy for those around when we change the game.

I wouldn't tolerate the behavior you are putting up with. I would start by saying I don't appreciate what you just said, it doesn't help me at all. I would tell him ive had enough.

If no changes are made I would have to think about a plan b.

Do keep in mind it takes awhile for the people around us to adjust. But remember you have to speak up for your needs.

Good luck with this. I know it can't be easy. It's very hurtful and only sets us back.

[fauxartist]

Better to have feelings than none at all ....and it's pretty passive aggressive for this person to dwell on or make light of a perceived put down. Don't see having feelings as a down side, most creative genius comes from those of us who feel more, and see more to this world than most. So let this person know you don't appreciate the comments, it's not funny no matter how he puts these comments, and he can keep them to himself. You are perfect the way you are, this is a part of who you are, and he can just accept that and stop trying to gaslight you with back handed put downs.

[Ollyvie]

Hello Live4it20, am sorry to hear what you are going through right now. I know it can be emotionally and mentally draining. I have come to a point in my life that when I cannot change it, I don’t let it bother me because it may not be in my power to do so. I know we can’t help it as humans, so I talk myself out of that emotion. People opinions should not define you. Sometimes you have to ignore the jokes if he has refused to change after talking to him about it. You deserve better in every relationship. “You can’t force someone to respect or treat you right, but you can refuse to be disrespected.”. There is no one person God made to support you. Before you met, you were living okay and without him life will still go on. There will be no doubt that maybe he has been of tremendous help to you. Life basic needs to sustain life are water, food, shelter and air. For the rest of our needs you have the power to choose how you want them. What am trying to say is that you have options. Choose you because you need a stable environment. Sending hugs and love your way.

[Poodie]

Hello Live 4it20.

Please do not put up with disrespectful treatment. This person is saying you are too sensitive because they want to continue this treatment of you. Telling them you are not willing to listen to them any longer will do wonders for you. You can always then just walk away and decide how you can separate further from what sounds like a toxic relationship. It is important to stand by your feelings and let yourself be who you are. Believe in your own perceptions of the relationship. Pay attention and listen to yourself.

Love yourself because you deserve it. Good luck.